Never really thought of myself that way...
Okay... so I'm aware of the fact that in pictures I usually look better than I do in person... mainly because I'm with makeup on or because in the summer I'm tan and my skin is clear etc... but in the past 2 days, 1 guy said to me that I'm "amazingly beautiful", 1 guy said that I'm "very attractive" and a woman that knew me from childhood said that I'm "so beautiful". I never really thought of myself as beautiful or attractive. I'm aware that I have a certain kind of sex appeal - thanks mainly to my breasts and perhaps the long hair/blond thing, but I never thought of myself as beautiful... maybe I've even thought of myself as pretty - but not beautiful... and certainly not AMAZINGLY or SO beautiful!!
I just hate my skin - if I had clear skin, my life would be a whole lot easier. I mean, if I could change one thing immediately, it wouldn't be my weight or something... it would be my skin. To have nice clear skin for life... wow... even all the money spent on cosmetic products, nothing seem to work for very long. The only thing that really seems to work is getting tan and being in the sun and just being outside in general.
Well, anyways, it felt good - I may not completely believe it and I'm inclined to believe that they are just exaggerating, but it's still nice to think about :)
YAY!
Also - now that my period has passed, I'm not as unhappy. I spoke with Doron over the weekend and I've started looking for another job since I think that it's the main reason I was sinking into a depression. Doron is so sweet - I mean, really... I'm so glad he's back in my life, he means so much to me. I'm doing better with the friends thing... I even helped him update his user profile on OkCupid - I mean, that's what friends do, right? If this is what he wants, then who am I to stand in his way?
Of course, I wish things were a little different - actually the only thing that I'd want to change is this non-exclusivity clause in our relationship at the moment, but other than that, I get to see him once a week for a night, we talk sparingly on gmail or on the phone, but it doesn't matter, I know he's really busy and he's putting school first. He's doing well and I'm so proud of him - how much time he puts into his studies. I know he thinks that he doesn't do as much as he should and honestly, maybe he's right, but that doesn't negate the fact that he already IS doing a lot of work.
Today is a feel good day - so far at least. I swear... if I wear purple, it's a good day :)
I just hate my skin - if I had clear skin, my life would be a whole lot easier. I mean, if I could change one thing immediately, it wouldn't be my weight or something... it would be my skin. To have nice clear skin for life... wow... even all the money spent on cosmetic products, nothing seem to work for very long. The only thing that really seems to work is getting tan and being in the sun and just being outside in general.
Well, anyways, it felt good - I may not completely believe it and I'm inclined to believe that they are just exaggerating, but it's still nice to think about :)
YAY!
Also - now that my period has passed, I'm not as unhappy. I spoke with Doron over the weekend and I've started looking for another job since I think that it's the main reason I was sinking into a depression. Doron is so sweet - I mean, really... I'm so glad he's back in my life, he means so much to me. I'm doing better with the friends thing... I even helped him update his user profile on OkCupid - I mean, that's what friends do, right? If this is what he wants, then who am I to stand in his way?
Of course, I wish things were a little different - actually the only thing that I'd want to change is this non-exclusivity clause in our relationship at the moment, but other than that, I get to see him once a week for a night, we talk sparingly on gmail or on the phone, but it doesn't matter, I know he's really busy and he's putting school first. He's doing well and I'm so proud of him - how much time he puts into his studies. I know he thinks that he doesn't do as much as he should and honestly, maybe he's right, but that doesn't negate the fact that he already IS doing a lot of work.
Today is a feel good day - so far at least. I swear... if I wear purple, it's a good day :)