Too many thoughts...
Doron
School
Hawaii
Friends
Family
Home
...
Lost
At times, I feel like I have nothing going for me. I am so sad and at times it takes all my energy to not cry. The bottom line is that I'm not happy and I don't know where to even begin fixing that. I hate to say that my happiness is dependent upon somebody else, but that's the truth of the matter...
I spoke with Dana about it and she also thinks that it's a good idea to speak with Doron. On the 14th, it will be 6 months, and I think I want to see him on that day. I want to sit down with him and talk things over... I want to see that he doesn't love, that he doesn't care, that he doesn't still want me and then I will go and fork off somewhere, but for now... it just doesn't seem right to me.
On erev yom kippur, I had the most amazing dream... I dreamt that Doron and I got back together. It was sooo real. I woke up that morning and I was so happy the whole day. I was back to myself again for another day...
The thing is that I know in the very core of my being that Doron and I belong together... once that used to scare, but not anymore. It'd be like denying my birthday... saying it was on the 29th and not the 28th... but the truth remains the same... I was born on the 29th and Doron and I belong together. However I managed to fuck things up and however he managed to screw things up, it doesn't matter... we can work through it. I know we can. I have faith enough for the both of us. Even if we take things slowly, without even telling anybody at first... just trying to get to know eachother again and making up for lost time... I'd be willing to try anything... because what's worth more than true love?
School
Hawaii
Friends
Family
Home
...
Lost
At times, I feel like I have nothing going for me. I am so sad and at times it takes all my energy to not cry. The bottom line is that I'm not happy and I don't know where to even begin fixing that. I hate to say that my happiness is dependent upon somebody else, but that's the truth of the matter...
I spoke with Dana about it and she also thinks that it's a good idea to speak with Doron. On the 14th, it will be 6 months, and I think I want to see him on that day. I want to sit down with him and talk things over... I want to see that he doesn't love, that he doesn't care, that he doesn't still want me and then I will go and fork off somewhere, but for now... it just doesn't seem right to me.
On erev yom kippur, I had the most amazing dream... I dreamt that Doron and I got back together. It was sooo real. I woke up that morning and I was so happy the whole day. I was back to myself again for another day...
The thing is that I know in the very core of my being that Doron and I belong together... once that used to scare, but not anymore. It'd be like denying my birthday... saying it was on the 29th and not the 28th... but the truth remains the same... I was born on the 29th and Doron and I belong together. However I managed to fuck things up and however he managed to screw things up, it doesn't matter... we can work through it. I know we can. I have faith enough for the both of us. Even if we take things slowly, without even telling anybody at first... just trying to get to know eachother again and making up for lost time... I'd be willing to try anything... because what's worth more than true love?