Closed. It's the end of any type of online public journal for me. I'll talk to you all in person.

Cheers to myself today.

I couldn't sleep last night. I just layed in my bed, shaking with anger. I finally got so tired and frustrated that I cried. And cried and cried and cried. I'm done.

After being continually criticized for sharing my thoughts in my journal, I have decided to take down the last post. Thank you for bringing to my attention what can and can not be said.

Should I even dignify it with a response? You spiral together, and it makes it impossible to get anywhere with either one of you. Think for yourself, and then I'll come knocking.

I realized, halfway through what I was saying, that I was saying the very words I hate to hear myself. So I reconstructed, redefined why I spoke up and how to solve the problem. Avoidance is key, but I selfishly only think that I have the right to denial. Perhaps hibernation is key to regrouping. I did it this summer, why can't I do it again? ( Read more... )

Dissent, not desertion. Geez. Reverend Scott sent me a letter, I sent him one back. I've got cold hands, frizzy hair, an upset stomach, and blurry eyes.

You're killing my thoughts and crushing my breath. Indifference hurts the most. I can take the anger, because I've got that, too. I've been in such a crappy, blah mood this week. I may just go crazy and burst out into song, but it will be emo, not broadway, and you'll like it, bitch.

I never want to eat, ever again. Ew. I want to go make myself vomit. But I can't, because I'm a wimp. And I hate that song. Please don't hang up anymore. I've got a sense of dread and a sense of anger and a sense of luming depression that a pill can't fix. I'll work it out. But mostly, I've got cabin fever.

At dinner, TC, Christine, and I thought up everyone's futures. Here we go ( Read more... )