Nic Cester: Guyslut (a picspam)
The Powderfinger biography came out on Tuesday. I haven't gotten my hands on a copy yet but I understand that the introduction featured a cameo by Nic Cester of JET, in which he confirmed that JET is basically one big, gay, slightly incestuous foursome (fivesome? I'm not sure if he included Louis in that) and also referred to himself as a 'guy slut'.
Clearly the world needs me to document Nic's past guyslut behaviour in order to understand this new self-identification of his. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it. My god I don't think I've ever used the word 'slut' as much as I have in this post. I use it with ALL AFFECTION AND APPROVAL.
Who is this Nic Cester the guy slut, you ask?
That would be this guy:
When he's not crowdsurfing, sometimes he sings and plays guitar in this band called JET, who want to know if you're gonna be their girl:
As we will see, Nic is capable of being a guyslut whether he's playing guitar or not.
Nic and his big gay incesty foursome
Here is what Nic has said about his band recently: "Being in a band is essentially like being in a homosexual relationship with four guys."
I can believe that.
I mean, if I were Nic, I would not say no to some guyslut action with my band. What could be better than having your bassist draped over you while your best friend rubs up against his leg and your brother stands awkwardly in the background?
Oh, you weren't aware that one of the members of Nic's four-way travelling gay musical orgy was his brother, Chris?
I would disapprove of this pretty hard except that 'Cestercest' is a really fun word.
Just say it. CESTERCEST.
I'm also incapable of disapproving of Nic being a slut for his bandmates. Any of them. Here is Nic with his best friend and guitarist, Cam:
You don't spend half your life your life in a band with someone without getting pretty comfortable with them, that's all I'm saying.
Mind you, Nic has known his bassist, Mark, for a much shorter time than he's known the other two guys in his band, and he's obviously just as comfortable being a guyslut for Mark:
Here is the only image from that one time last year when Nic made like he was going to kiss Mark on stage:
Sometimes when they play 'Are You Gonna Be My Girl' Nic stops the song in the middle and makes Mark towel him off.
It's from about 1:20. If you keep watching you can also see Nic point in Mark's general direction when he sings the lyric 'Are you gonna be my girl?' towards the end. I couldn't make this shit up.
Okay, I would, but I wouldn't expect it to be true.
A homosexual relationship with four guys
I'm going to divert briefly from the ways in which Nic is a guyslut to discuss the fact that he is not the only guyslut in the band.
Cam, for example, likes to rub up against Mark like a cat. Frequently.
This is an occurence which seems sadly difficult to capture on camera, but it's a beautiful thing and I'M TRYING, OKAY.
Mark and Chris have been particularly close lately since they started a side project together, but they've always had some guyslut tendencies for each other.
While I endorse all sluttiness, I have to question Mark's eating choices sometimes.
I have no detached or informative commentary about Chris's bunny costume, I just fucking love this photo, okay?
Then of course we have Chris and Cam:
I highly recommend watching Tour Busted. It's supposedly a behind the scenes, what-Jet-do-after-shows video, but it's clearly all about how much Chris and Cam want to fuck each other basically all the time. If you can't be bothered watching it, some highlights:
JET: quite capable of being slutty even without Nic the chief guyslut in the house.
Other people Nic is a guyslut for
Nic sometimes exhibits guyslut tendencies outside the confines of his band. For example, his hero, Tim Rogers of You Am I:
That was literally the night all Nic's dreams came true.
Another of Nic's musical heroes is Bernard Fanning of Powderfinger, who Jet supported on an extensive tour last year. At one point they seemed to be having a kind of escalating stage-gay-off with each other, which ended with them doing a song together and Bernard grabbing Nic's arse at the end:
Bernard and Nic have also performed together before, in the first of what I like to think of as Nic Cester's Unintentionally Homoerotic Duets. In which they share a glass of wine and have pet names for each other.
But the most famous of Nic's celebrity guyslut romances is with Muse. Yes, all of them. Okay, really just Matt and Dom, but that's two thirds of them!
Nic snuggled up with Matt at Matt's birthday party last year.
Then got VERY comfy with Dom.
But all of this is secondary to Nic's magnificent display of guyslut affection for Dom at Big Day Out 2010:
What really matters here is that I love Nic's guyslut habits and his big gay incesty band foursome and I hope he never changes.
And because it's remarkable enough that I got so far in this post without doing it, HERE ARE SOME GRATUITOUS PHOTOS OF MARK WILSON BECAUSE I DON'T NEED AN EXCUSE:
Clearly the world needs me to document Nic's past guyslut behaviour in order to understand this new self-identification of his. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it. My god I don't think I've ever used the word 'slut' as much as I have in this post. I use it with ALL AFFECTION AND APPROVAL.
Who is this Nic Cester the guy slut, you ask?
That would be this guy:
When he's not crowdsurfing, sometimes he sings and plays guitar in this band called JET, who want to know if you're gonna be their girl:
As we will see, Nic is capable of being a guyslut whether he's playing guitar or not.
Nic and his big gay incesty foursome
Here is what Nic has said about his band recently: "Being in a band is essentially like being in a homosexual relationship with four guys."
I can believe that.
I mean, if I were Nic, I would not say no to some guyslut action with my band. What could be better than having your bassist draped over you while your best friend rubs up against his leg and your brother stands awkwardly in the background?
Oh, you weren't aware that one of the members of Nic's four-way travelling gay musical orgy was his brother, Chris?
I would disapprove of this pretty hard except that 'Cestercest' is a really fun word.
Just say it. CESTERCEST.
I'm also incapable of disapproving of Nic being a slut for his bandmates. Any of them. Here is Nic with his best friend and guitarist, Cam:
You don't spend half your life your life in a band with someone without getting pretty comfortable with them, that's all I'm saying.
Mind you, Nic has known his bassist, Mark, for a much shorter time than he's known the other two guys in his band, and he's obviously just as comfortable being a guyslut for Mark:
Here is the only image from that one time last year when Nic made like he was going to kiss Mark on stage:
Sometimes when they play 'Are You Gonna Be My Girl' Nic stops the song in the middle and makes Mark towel him off.
Click to viewIt's from about 1:20. If you keep watching you can also see Nic point in Mark's general direction when he sings the lyric 'Are you gonna be my girl?' towards the end. I couldn't make this shit up.
Okay, I would, but I wouldn't expect it to be true.
A homosexual relationship with four guys
I'm going to divert briefly from the ways in which Nic is a guyslut to discuss the fact that he is not the only guyslut in the band.
Cam, for example, likes to rub up against Mark like a cat. Frequently.
This is an occurence which seems sadly difficult to capture on camera, but it's a beautiful thing and I'M TRYING, OKAY.
Mark and Chris have been particularly close lately since they started a side project together, but they've always had some guyslut tendencies for each other.
While I endorse all sluttiness, I have to question Mark's eating choices sometimes.
I have no detached or informative commentary about Chris's bunny costume, I just fucking love this photo, okay?
Then of course we have Chris and Cam:
I highly recommend watching Tour Busted. It's supposedly a behind the scenes, what-Jet-do-after-shows video, but it's clearly all about how much Chris and Cam want to fuck each other basically all the time. If you can't be bothered watching it, some highlights:
JET: quite capable of being slutty even without Nic the chief guyslut in the house.
Other people Nic is a guyslut for
Nic sometimes exhibits guyslut tendencies outside the confines of his band. For example, his hero, Tim Rogers of You Am I:
That was literally the night all Nic's dreams came true.
Another of Nic's musical heroes is Bernard Fanning of Powderfinger, who Jet supported on an extensive tour last year. At one point they seemed to be having a kind of escalating stage-gay-off with each other, which ended with them doing a song together and Bernard grabbing Nic's arse at the end:
Bernard and Nic have also performed together before, in the first of what I like to think of as Nic Cester's Unintentionally Homoerotic Duets. In which they share a glass of wine and have pet names for each other.
But the most famous of Nic's celebrity guyslut romances is with Muse. Yes, all of them. Okay, really just Matt and Dom, but that's two thirds of them!
Nic snuggled up with Matt at Matt's birthday party last year.
Then got VERY comfy with Dom.
But all of this is secondary to Nic's magnificent display of guyslut affection for Dom at Big Day Out 2010:
What really matters here is that I love Nic's guyslut habits and his big gay incesty band foursome and I hope he never changes.
And because it's remarkable enough that I got so far in this post without doing it, HERE ARE SOME GRATUITOUS PHOTOS OF MARK WILSON BECAUSE I DON'T NEED AN EXCUSE: