(no subject)
Ian (From Texas)-
Hi. I feel really weird even writing this because, y'know, we're not like this but I gotta get it off my chest so here it goes anyway...
What's up? Are we done? That text you sent me was so strange and I can't stop thinking about it--well, I can, actually, and to be frank I keep forgetting about it, but then I remember it and get completely fixated over it again. Honestly, what the fuck? This isn't how you tell me we're over, is it? I'm not exactly sure what I expected from you, but not... that. Also, why? I keep racking my brain trying to think of possibilities. Did you see me and Michael out and about? Did I accidentally call you "Michael" when I was stoned out of my mind? (I don't think I did? but I also remember almost calling you that...) Did you meet someone else? Did you just decide that you'd just rather not keep seeing me? I guess if we really are over, it doesn't matter, but I just want to know why.
The last time I saw you things seems seemed fine. Really nice. Maybe I am just overreacting and being overly sensitive. I know I have thought you were over me before and you weren't. If this is it, it is maybe for the best. I'm so scared of jinxing it with Michael but things feel good. And to be quite honest, I've been stewing over when the right time would be to end it with you and I how I would go about doing so. If this is really it, it would be so much easier for both of us. But at the same time.. I don't want to give you up. I know that's selfish.
I honestly don't know how to take this. It's been so long and you have been there for me for so long. You were such a comfort to me and I really appreciated that. I don't think we were ever "destined" to be together forever, but I am certainly grateful that I could have you in my life when I did. I don't know. Even though this maybe needed to happen, it still sucks and it still hurts. I am going to miss you. This is still a big loss.