(no subject)
I've been waiting for this time to come, the time that everything feels complete and secure. When I'm happy and everyone else around me is happy. But I guess not everything turns out as good as it should. I mean, yeah, let's be mean to Haley because she doesn't want to hold a grudge! That's probably the most mature thing to do. Or, how about we just dislike her for no good reason at all, yep, that's another good one. Or maybe, I think you should just despise me, especially if you broke up with me and you "Want me out of your life forever", because, I'm sure you know that's the best thing. I know this isn't what you would do, but I want to do it, because I want to be happy. And I want to make everyone happy, by being so unselfish as to let one of the people who hurt me the most back into my life. You know, I'd gladly let you back in too if you weren't such a coward. Don't treat me like the rest of them, you know I'm different. You know I made you happy, and you know I loved you the most. I know I did too because when I thought that it made tears form and now I feel like crying. I don't want to cry, I'm happy. I just really miss you. I love you so much, still. And it just kills me to walk right past you and pretend you're not there. I know you see me, but you don't mind. You just shake it off, everything's alright if you have what makes you feel alive. I made you feel alive. I wish I could just put the peices together and solve this fucking puzzle, just so I for once can actually feel happy again. This was a mistake, now I know it is. Because now I'm thinking of you, and now I'm crying. I don't want you, and I don't need you. I'm just fine without you. I'm not sorry, for whatever I didn't do.