H50 fic: Blinking Against the Distance 1/5
Title: Blinking against the Distance, Part One
Pairing/Characters: Steve McGarrett/Adam Noshimuri, Steve McGarrett/Chin Ho Kelly (past); also features Danny Williams, Chin Ho Kelly and Joe White in the present
Genre: Angst, Porn with Plot
Word Count: 1870 this part
Rating: R this part; ventures into NC-17 thereafter
Warnings/Spoilers: Some spoilers up to and including 2.14
Disclaimer: I have no rights; I make no money
Beta: The always willing and able siluria. Without your encouragement and help, this would not be half the story it is, my dear. Also thanks to kaige68 for being so supportive!
Summary: Steve finds himself getting in over his head when he meets Adam Noshimuri with a view to finding out more about the Yakuza's involvement with his mother's death and about the mysterious Shelburne.
Author’s Notes: This was written during and after Adam Noshimuri's initial appearance in S2 - up to and including S2.14; all the action takes place around that time. I have altered canon in several places to make this story work, so consider it an AU, although small scenes from the show do make an appearance from time to time. Apologies to anyone who likes canon to remain as it appears on the show.
NB: this fic can also be read here at AO3
The knock on the door startled Steve, and he turned to give his guest a wide-eyed look before slowly getting up to answer it. He purposely kept the door half-closed as soon as he realized who was on his doorstep, and smiled crookedly at Chin.
"Hey Steve."
"Hey, brah, what's up?" Steve tried not to look back over his shoulder.
Chin looked like he had something serious to say, but Steve wasn't about to let him inside right now. The way Chin dropped his eyes made Steve frown. The man was getting married in a few days; surely he wasn't having second thoughts? When he finally looked back up, Steve thought he got it, and opened his mouth to say something, the frown still creasing his brows as he let his eyes shift in such a way that Chin could hardly fail to understand that he wasn't alone.
Chin waved his words away and shook his head. "Never mind. I just..." He hesitated, and Steve felt his stomach drop. He wasn't going to bring up old memories now, was he? "Look, it's cool, I get it."
Steve slipped further out the door and shut it behind him, coming close enough to put a hand on Chin's shoulder as he turned him away from the door. "We've both moved on, right? I mean, everything's cool with you and Malia, right? You're not getting... cold feet now, are you?"
"No, no; nothing like that, brah. I just wanted to make sure you're okay with... things, but hey, if you've got someone here..." Chin gestured unevenly, and gave Steve a look. One Steve recognized from long ago and that he hadn't expected now, of all times.
"I'm good, Chin. Honestly." He managed a smile, and hoped it was reassuring enough.
Chin's expression evened out and he offered a smile and nod in reply. "I'll get going then."
He didn't move though, and Steve wondered what he was waiting for. He raised an eyebrow in question and patted the shoulder he hadn't let go of yet.
"Be careful, Steve."
"Careful?" Steve wasn't sure what Chin was getting at.
"You are happy for me? You're okay with being my Best Man, aren't you? I mean... I know it's not my business any more, but I saw the way you..." He hesitated, his brows creasing again as Steve let go of him.
"The way I what?"
"Nah, look, forget it. You're a grown man and I'm not your..." Chin stopped, his eyes dropping again, like he didn't want to finish the sentence.
"Chin, I've never held it against you. You and Malia; you're made for each other. What we had was good, but we both knew it wasn't what either of us was looking for long-term. I'm honored that you asked me to be Best Man; really, I am."
Steve put his hand back on Chin's shoulder, feeling the quiet strength there that he had always admired. He smiled genuinely into Chin's eyes when he finally raised them once more.
"I couldn't ever regret any of it, but I don't want you to feel guilty. I'm totally fine with things. Don't ruin what you have going now because of some imagined sense of responsibility towards me. The friendship we have means more to me than you can possibly know, and I don't expect you to keep worrying about what might have been; I'm not." He could only hope Chin got that, because it was true.
"Then you..." Chin gestured to the closed door behind him. "That's not... because of me?"
"What?" Steve started guiltily, thinking about the man inside, waiting for him. "No; no... It's not like that." He couldn't tell Chin what was going on; not yet anyway.
"Good. Because you deserve some happiness too. I want that for you. Just... be sure, and be careful, won't you?"
Steve narrowed his eyes, squeezing Chin's shoulder. "You said that before; what do you mean? I'm not... it's not what you're thinking."
"That's not who I think in there, then?"
Steve felt his heart speed up, and he dropped his hand away once more. "Who do you think it is?"
"Adam Noshimuri."
"What?" Steve's eyes widened. How could Chin know that?
Chin held up his hands in apology. "Hey, I'm sorry if I'm off base. It's just... I saw how you two looked at each other today. I knew that look and I thought... but if you say it's not him, then I'm sorry. I read it wrong; it wouldn't be the first time."
Steve couldn't speak. He swallowed hard as Chin went down the steps and turned back to wave to him before he disappeared into the darkness. He reappeared a few seconds later beside his car as he opened the door and the interior light came on. Chin's smile looked a lot less worried than Steve felt as he started the car and pulled away.
Once the car was gone, Steve turned, taking a few steadying breaths as he reached for the door and opened it.
A low laugh greeted him. "You have a thing for Asian men."
Steve couldn't even smile as he met Adam's sparkling dark eyes. "You weren't supposed to hear any of that."
Adam stretched an arm across the back of the sofa and crossed one elegant leg over the other. "Your walls are thinner than you think. Is that the real reason you wanted to see me?"
Steve could feel the heat in his face as he sat down in the chair, and hoped his flush wasn't as obvious as it felt. "No. I asked you here because I hoped you could tell me more about your father's business dealings. That perhaps we could help each other."
Adam's look was frankly appraising, as if now he knew the truth about Steve, he was seeing things differently. "You don't think the two are mutually exclusive, do you?"
Steve had felt the undercurrent vaguely before, but ignored it, assuming it was just his own attraction to Adam that had made him wonder. Suddenly, it didn't seem so much undercurrent as waves on the surface.
It took him a moment to answer, and he was already starting to stand up as he spoke. "No."
Adam was on his feet too, and covering the ground between them like it didn't exist. The first touch was as electric as any Steve had ever felt, and the unbridled need in Adam's eyes surely matched his own. It had been months since Steve had done anything with another man, and quite clearly neither of them was about to take it slowly.
Clothes were discarded as they clashed, strength equally matched, and the indelicate dance up the stairs took about twice as long as seemed reasonable to Steve. They were naked by the time his back hit the mattress, and Adam's teeth found his neck as he landed on top of Steve.
Steve let out a grunt of desire, bucking up against Adam as he tried to knock him off and twist around so he was on top. Adam wasn't letting up though, and what shouldn't have been such a turn-on had Steve giving up and pulling him nearer, letting Adam's cock slide into the juncture of thigh and torso as he tightened his legs against Adam's body.
Adam growled and attacked his mouth, rolling his hips into the motion Steve had started. "I want to fuck you."
"I don't have anything," Steve got out breathlessly as Adam sucked hard on his pulse point, still grinding into him. "I'm not..."
"...that kind of boy?" Adam laughed into his neck, pulling away enough to smile into his eyes.
Steve was beyond help. He wanted this even though he knew it was all kinds of stupid to trust this man. He understood what Chin had been trying to say to him, but he couldn't stop himself; he'd known that as soon as he realized that Adam wanted him too.
"This doesn't change anything," he muttered, pulling Adam into another heated kiss.
Adam didn't argue. When he pulled out of the kiss, he mouthed along Steve's jaw, his hands pushing Steve's away as he torturously made his way downwards. Steve's breathing was short by the time Adam's mouth found his cock, and he groaned, closing his eyes as he clutched at the man's dark hair, remembering another time, some months back with another similarly dark-haired man.
~//~
Steve didn't expect Adam to stay afterwards, but he flopped off Steve exhaustedly and lay back, wrapping his arms up and around the spare pillow before glancing over to Steve curiously.
Coming down from his own high, Steve couldn't do much other than stare back while he regained his breath.
"You always fool around with your father's... enemies… like this?" Adam asked, eventually.
Steve cracked a sly grin at that. "You admit it, then? You knew what your father was doing?"
“Some of it. But you didn’t answer my question.”
“You know I don’t. Are you going to help me?”
“If you’ll help me find my father.”
Steve nodded. It was worth it if Adam could give him information that would lead him to Shelburne.
Adam smiled and shifted closer, leaning over Steve to kiss him softly. “And there will be more of this.” It wasn’t a question.
Kissing him back, Steve wrapped a hand around Adam’s neck. A second round wasn’t completely out of the question right now, the way he was feeling.
Adam drew back, reluctance in his eyes as he moved off the bed. “I’d stay, but I’m expected elsewhere.”
Steve didn’t want to ask what that meant, but he was glad in a way. Much as having another body in the bed for a whole night would have been good, he didn’t trust Adam enough for that… yet. He didn’t even want to think about allowing things to progress beyond sex at this point.
He sat up, watching as Adam found what few items of his clothing that had made it into the bedroom and slipped into them.
“I have some connections that I can check first thing,” Adam said, his eyes roaming hungrily over Steve’s face and chest. “What was that name again?”
“Shelburne.” Steve shifted out of bed too, and pulled on boxers and a nearby t-shirt. “I’ll walk you out.”
Adam’s mouth quirked into a half-smile. “You will be looking for my father tomorrow, won’t you?”
A sliver of pain at the reminder of how his own father had finished his life dug into Steve’s heart. Much as he didn’t trust Adam, he had to keep his end of the bargain. “I’ll do everything I can.”
Mostly dressed by the time they reached the door, Adam stopped and turned to reach out a hand to touch Steve’s chest. “That was good. Next time I’ll bring something.”
He wasn’t Danny, nor even Chin, but Steve couldn’t help himself. “What, like flowers?”
Adam laughed, dropping his hand. “I’ll see you.”
Steve nodded, opening the door. Adam offered him one last half-smile as he turned away and headed out. For the second time that night, Steve watched a man leave him, with more than a little worry in his heart.
~//~
Chapter Two
Cheap Printer Ink
Pairing/Characters: Steve McGarrett/Adam Noshimuri, Steve McGarrett/Chin Ho Kelly (past); also features Danny Williams, Chin Ho Kelly and Joe White in the present
Genre: Angst, Porn with Plot
Word Count: 1870 this part
Rating: R this part; ventures into NC-17 thereafter
Warnings/Spoilers: Some spoilers up to and including 2.14
Disclaimer: I have no rights; I make no money
Beta: The always willing and able siluria. Without your encouragement and help, this would not be half the story it is, my dear. Also thanks to kaige68 for being so supportive!
Summary: Steve finds himself getting in over his head when he meets Adam Noshimuri with a view to finding out more about the Yakuza's involvement with his mother's death and about the mysterious Shelburne.
Author’s Notes: This was written during and after Adam Noshimuri's initial appearance in S2 - up to and including S2.14; all the action takes place around that time. I have altered canon in several places to make this story work, so consider it an AU, although small scenes from the show do make an appearance from time to time. Apologies to anyone who likes canon to remain as it appears on the show.
NB: this fic can also be read here at AO3
The knock on the door startled Steve, and he turned to give his guest a wide-eyed look before slowly getting up to answer it. He purposely kept the door half-closed as soon as he realized who was on his doorstep, and smiled crookedly at Chin.
"Hey Steve."
"Hey, brah, what's up?" Steve tried not to look back over his shoulder.
Chin looked like he had something serious to say, but Steve wasn't about to let him inside right now. The way Chin dropped his eyes made Steve frown. The man was getting married in a few days; surely he wasn't having second thoughts? When he finally looked back up, Steve thought he got it, and opened his mouth to say something, the frown still creasing his brows as he let his eyes shift in such a way that Chin could hardly fail to understand that he wasn't alone.
Chin waved his words away and shook his head. "Never mind. I just..." He hesitated, and Steve felt his stomach drop. He wasn't going to bring up old memories now, was he? "Look, it's cool, I get it."
Steve slipped further out the door and shut it behind him, coming close enough to put a hand on Chin's shoulder as he turned him away from the door. "We've both moved on, right? I mean, everything's cool with you and Malia, right? You're not getting... cold feet now, are you?"
"No, no; nothing like that, brah. I just wanted to make sure you're okay with... things, but hey, if you've got someone here..." Chin gestured unevenly, and gave Steve a look. One Steve recognized from long ago and that he hadn't expected now, of all times.
"I'm good, Chin. Honestly." He managed a smile, and hoped it was reassuring enough.
Chin's expression evened out and he offered a smile and nod in reply. "I'll get going then."
He didn't move though, and Steve wondered what he was waiting for. He raised an eyebrow in question and patted the shoulder he hadn't let go of yet.
"Be careful, Steve."
"Careful?" Steve wasn't sure what Chin was getting at.
"You are happy for me? You're okay with being my Best Man, aren't you? I mean... I know it's not my business any more, but I saw the way you..." He hesitated, his brows creasing again as Steve let go of him.
"The way I what?"
"Nah, look, forget it. You're a grown man and I'm not your..." Chin stopped, his eyes dropping again, like he didn't want to finish the sentence.
"Chin, I've never held it against you. You and Malia; you're made for each other. What we had was good, but we both knew it wasn't what either of us was looking for long-term. I'm honored that you asked me to be Best Man; really, I am."
Steve put his hand back on Chin's shoulder, feeling the quiet strength there that he had always admired. He smiled genuinely into Chin's eyes when he finally raised them once more.
"I couldn't ever regret any of it, but I don't want you to feel guilty. I'm totally fine with things. Don't ruin what you have going now because of some imagined sense of responsibility towards me. The friendship we have means more to me than you can possibly know, and I don't expect you to keep worrying about what might have been; I'm not." He could only hope Chin got that, because it was true.
"Then you..." Chin gestured to the closed door behind him. "That's not... because of me?"
"What?" Steve started guiltily, thinking about the man inside, waiting for him. "No; no... It's not like that." He couldn't tell Chin what was going on; not yet anyway.
"Good. Because you deserve some happiness too. I want that for you. Just... be sure, and be careful, won't you?"
Steve narrowed his eyes, squeezing Chin's shoulder. "You said that before; what do you mean? I'm not... it's not what you're thinking."
"That's not who I think in there, then?"
Steve felt his heart speed up, and he dropped his hand away once more. "Who do you think it is?"
"Adam Noshimuri."
"What?" Steve's eyes widened. How could Chin know that?
Chin held up his hands in apology. "Hey, I'm sorry if I'm off base. It's just... I saw how you two looked at each other today. I knew that look and I thought... but if you say it's not him, then I'm sorry. I read it wrong; it wouldn't be the first time."
Steve couldn't speak. He swallowed hard as Chin went down the steps and turned back to wave to him before he disappeared into the darkness. He reappeared a few seconds later beside his car as he opened the door and the interior light came on. Chin's smile looked a lot less worried than Steve felt as he started the car and pulled away.
Once the car was gone, Steve turned, taking a few steadying breaths as he reached for the door and opened it.
A low laugh greeted him. "You have a thing for Asian men."
Steve couldn't even smile as he met Adam's sparkling dark eyes. "You weren't supposed to hear any of that."
Adam stretched an arm across the back of the sofa and crossed one elegant leg over the other. "Your walls are thinner than you think. Is that the real reason you wanted to see me?"
Steve could feel the heat in his face as he sat down in the chair, and hoped his flush wasn't as obvious as it felt. "No. I asked you here because I hoped you could tell me more about your father's business dealings. That perhaps we could help each other."
Adam's look was frankly appraising, as if now he knew the truth about Steve, he was seeing things differently. "You don't think the two are mutually exclusive, do you?"
Steve had felt the undercurrent vaguely before, but ignored it, assuming it was just his own attraction to Adam that had made him wonder. Suddenly, it didn't seem so much undercurrent as waves on the surface.
It took him a moment to answer, and he was already starting to stand up as he spoke. "No."
Adam was on his feet too, and covering the ground between them like it didn't exist. The first touch was as electric as any Steve had ever felt, and the unbridled need in Adam's eyes surely matched his own. It had been months since Steve had done anything with another man, and quite clearly neither of them was about to take it slowly.
Clothes were discarded as they clashed, strength equally matched, and the indelicate dance up the stairs took about twice as long as seemed reasonable to Steve. They were naked by the time his back hit the mattress, and Adam's teeth found his neck as he landed on top of Steve.
Steve let out a grunt of desire, bucking up against Adam as he tried to knock him off and twist around so he was on top. Adam wasn't letting up though, and what shouldn't have been such a turn-on had Steve giving up and pulling him nearer, letting Adam's cock slide into the juncture of thigh and torso as he tightened his legs against Adam's body.
Adam growled and attacked his mouth, rolling his hips into the motion Steve had started. "I want to fuck you."
"I don't have anything," Steve got out breathlessly as Adam sucked hard on his pulse point, still grinding into him. "I'm not..."
"...that kind of boy?" Adam laughed into his neck, pulling away enough to smile into his eyes.
Steve was beyond help. He wanted this even though he knew it was all kinds of stupid to trust this man. He understood what Chin had been trying to say to him, but he couldn't stop himself; he'd known that as soon as he realized that Adam wanted him too.
"This doesn't change anything," he muttered, pulling Adam into another heated kiss.
Adam didn't argue. When he pulled out of the kiss, he mouthed along Steve's jaw, his hands pushing Steve's away as he torturously made his way downwards. Steve's breathing was short by the time Adam's mouth found his cock, and he groaned, closing his eyes as he clutched at the man's dark hair, remembering another time, some months back with another similarly dark-haired man.
~//~
Steve didn't expect Adam to stay afterwards, but he flopped off Steve exhaustedly and lay back, wrapping his arms up and around the spare pillow before glancing over to Steve curiously.
Coming down from his own high, Steve couldn't do much other than stare back while he regained his breath.
"You always fool around with your father's... enemies… like this?" Adam asked, eventually.
Steve cracked a sly grin at that. "You admit it, then? You knew what your father was doing?"
“Some of it. But you didn’t answer my question.”
“You know I don’t. Are you going to help me?”
“If you’ll help me find my father.”
Steve nodded. It was worth it if Adam could give him information that would lead him to Shelburne.
Adam smiled and shifted closer, leaning over Steve to kiss him softly. “And there will be more of this.” It wasn’t a question.
Kissing him back, Steve wrapped a hand around Adam’s neck. A second round wasn’t completely out of the question right now, the way he was feeling.
Adam drew back, reluctance in his eyes as he moved off the bed. “I’d stay, but I’m expected elsewhere.”
Steve didn’t want to ask what that meant, but he was glad in a way. Much as having another body in the bed for a whole night would have been good, he didn’t trust Adam enough for that… yet. He didn’t even want to think about allowing things to progress beyond sex at this point.
He sat up, watching as Adam found what few items of his clothing that had made it into the bedroom and slipped into them.
“I have some connections that I can check first thing,” Adam said, his eyes roaming hungrily over Steve’s face and chest. “What was that name again?”
“Shelburne.” Steve shifted out of bed too, and pulled on boxers and a nearby t-shirt. “I’ll walk you out.”
Adam’s mouth quirked into a half-smile. “You will be looking for my father tomorrow, won’t you?”
A sliver of pain at the reminder of how his own father had finished his life dug into Steve’s heart. Much as he didn’t trust Adam, he had to keep his end of the bargain. “I’ll do everything I can.”
Mostly dressed by the time they reached the door, Adam stopped and turned to reach out a hand to touch Steve’s chest. “That was good. Next time I’ll bring something.”
He wasn’t Danny, nor even Chin, but Steve couldn’t help himself. “What, like flowers?”
Adam laughed, dropping his hand. “I’ll see you.”
Steve nodded, opening the door. Adam offered him one last half-smile as he turned away and headed out. For the second time that night, Steve watched a man leave him, with more than a little worry in his heart.
~//~
Chapter Two
Cheap Printer Ink