The poetry of the professions

[hairyears]

Partying in Cambridge last night, our delightful hostess fiona_kitty introduced me to Aoife, an actuaritrix, who requested a terrible thing: A Limerick extolling the virtues of an actuary:
The sexual act with an Actuary
Requires a Viagra phylactuary;
His poor little stump
Needs a bicycle pump:
Or he'll leave you In Virgo Intactuary

I had hoped for something involving erotic statuary but it didn't scan - but do, please, offer your suggestions if you think it can, or does. Or shouldn't.

So... I find myself here in The PemburyTavern; one of our dining companions is accompanied by a lawyer-in-training called Hannah, and it occurs to me that all the professions should have a Limerick.

I will buy a pint for anyone who rhymes 'gynaecologist'.

[EDIT]
A note to budding poets and Limericists: Limericks can get away with bad rhymes but they absolutely *must* have the rhythm.