fellow fat failures ( Read more... )

phone rings
nick: hello?
person: blah blah
nick: we aren't interested.
person: even if you could see substantial savings???
nick: i don't like saving money.
*click*

N: Larry David has kids?

L: Yeah, their names are Cazzie and Romy. Look, here's a picture.

N: Oh, they're both girls?

L: Yeah.

N: I thought you said one of them was named Jim.

L: Jim??? Cazzie and Romy...

N: Oh, Romy.

Mark's tweet:

Nick
about 7 hours ago from txt

"I told you I twittered about you"

"i was at this birthday party, all dressed in fur........ and i was like 'hey, y'all... i'm here for the party'... and the kids just walked away from me..........maybe they thought i was an animal."

L: so what are we going to call what i made tonight ( Read more... )

Lauren says:
how was fat burger?

Nick says:
good

Lauren says:
its really called fat burger?

Nick says:
yeah

Nick says:
everything there is either fat or skinny

Nick says:
I had a fat burger with skinny fries

Lauren says:
what about the people?

Nick says:
mostly fat

Nick: "I almost threw up in the shower"
Me: "Oh my god...why?"
Nick: "I swallowed some water"

.................wtf?

Also I sprained my wrist......

Also... my baby took 5 steps.

( Read more... )

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