DW Femslash Assignment part 3/3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ya6jaQE-uIE - The Promise, Tracy Chapman - it just seems to go well with this part
*Back to the present*
“In love with your daughter and married to the Doctor. You know how to do complicated, don’t you River?” sighed Sarah-Jane, holding the still crying River to her, continually running a hand absently through her curls. “How did you get yourself into this one?”
“I don’t know. It’s like I’ve been playing the game I know, and while I haven’t been looking someone’s changed the board game. It was Amy who told me I was married to the Doctor and the Doctor who told me Amy was my mother!”
The frown of non-understanding didn’t leave Sarah-Jane’s face.
“Something somewhere in my timeline has changed. It’s like the path I was meant to be on forked somewhere and I’ve taken both roads without even realizing.”
“Which happened first?”
This time it was River’s turn to frown.
“Did you marry the Doctor, or fall in love with your m-, Amy, first?” asked Sarah Jane.
River paused, suddenly unsure of the answer. “Amy…I think. The first time I met her, at the Byzantium. I loved her from the moment I met her, almost before. Even if she was asking if I was the Doctor’s wife,” River sighed. “It’s as if I’m meant to be married to the Doctor, and I love him, I do. I love him so much, but at the same time, it feels right with Amy. It shouldn’t, but it does.” As she spoke she found herself sobbing harder once more until she was shaking in Sarah-Jane’s protective embrace.
Sarah-Jane, for her part, simply held River close, alternating between stroking her hair and rubbing soothing circles on her lower back, just as she used to when River would curl into her side, spent and limp after their love-making. When she felt River’s sobs subside, and her breathing even out, she kept up her soothing motions as she spoke, keeping her voice soft and low. “You can’t keep beating yourself up over this, River, and you won’t make things any better on your own. You need to talk to them, River.”
“How can I look at her, knowing that she knows. Knowing what we’ve done!”
“River, we both know there are far stranger things in this universe,” said Sarah-Jane, adopting her no-nonsense tone. “And if Amy loves you half as much as you do her, then it will be killing her not to see you. And I know the Doctor loves you. And I have no doubt he knows you River, and knows you well. He knows you’re not a simple woman, just as you know he’s the most naïve, complicated, genius of a fool that ever walked. He’ll understand, just as you understand that he’ll love every person that he brings into his TARDIS, that he’ll love his TARDIS, and that he’ll risk his life time and time again to save them.”
River sniffed, managing a small smile. “I hate it when I’m not the one who’s right.”
Sarah-Jane smiled back.
“What do the hell do I say?” asked River, looking completely helpless in her miserable state.
“Maybe you could see what they have to say first?” Suggested Sarah-Jane. “I doubt you let them get a word in before you ran off.” The look River gave her told her she was right. “I don’t suppose a phone would be of any use to you at this point?”
“Actually, yes,” laughed River. Finally, something in her life was simple.
“You’re kidding?” asked Sarah-Jane, her mouth open in disbelief.
“I can call, Amy, at least,” said River. “As for the Doctor. I have a few things to get his attention. Although a few of them are in need of a couple of slightly hard to find components.”
Sarah-Jane shook her head. Just when things were looking simple. “Well come on, we can take them to Mr Smith and see what he can do about tracking down your missing parts.”
*
Sarah-Jane sat at the small table she had set up in the attic, watching as River tried to cobble together a working transmitter that would reach the Doctor. Some time ago she had discretely placed the phone on the table, and had been nudging it closer to River ever since. River was scared, she knew that, but she had to face her fear sooner or later, and knowing River as she did, she knew she needed pushed. The woman’s specialty was running and not being found. It had to be when you had so many planets were offering a price for your head, attached or not.
“I’m not calling her today,” said River quietly, breaking the silence between the pair.
Sarah-Jane looked at her with an eyebrow raised.
“Janey, please,” pleaded River with her eyes too. “Just give me today, at least. Let me talk to the Doctor first.”
“Quit it with the eyes!” snapped Sarah-Jane, looking away. “But okay, you can have today to finish this transmitter and try and call the Doctor, but tomorrow…”
“I’ll call Amy,” finished River.
Sarah-Jane nodded, pleased that at least some progress seemed to be being made. “I’ll go and make us some tea,” she decided, rising from the table. At the doorway, she paused, looking back at her former lover, and hoping that the next couple of days would ease the tension from her shoulders.
*
“So this, routed through Mr Smith, should reach the TARDIS?” asked Sarah-Jane skeptically.
“Should, yes,” replied River.
“So this emits, what, an emergency beacon?” asked Sarah-Jane, striving to understand.
“No, it contacts the TARDIS,” replied River, her fingers moving over the console.
“Okay,” nodded Sarah-Jane, pacing as her brain tried to run over the processes involved. “How exactly?”
River turned to face her. “I don’t know.”
“Then how do you know it’ll work?”
“Because I can contact the TARDIS. I don’t know how it works, only that it does. The Doctor tried to explain it once, something about being the child of the TARDIS.”
“The child of the TARDIS?” asked Sarah-Jane, her mouth hanging open in disbelief.
River turned back from the console to face Sarah-Jane once more. “I didn’t mention that, did I?”
“No, River, no you didn’t.”
“Well, I am, sort of. I was conceived in the TARDIS, and it had some fun with my DNA, so I’m technically, sort of, part Time Lord,” explained River as best she could.
“Part time Lord?” asked Sarah-Jane warily. “So you can regenerate?”
“Could,” corrected River. “I used the rest of them saving the Doctor, so I only got the one shot at it properly. Still, I think I did not too badly,” she smiled, trying to lighten the mood. To her relief, Sarah-Jane smiled back.
“You really are something else entirely.”
*
River was practically shaking as the all too familiar sound of the TARDIS breaks filled the attic. Seeing her so nervous, Sarah-Jane reached out and took her hand in her own, offering her a supportive smile.
“River, how many times do I have to say it, I will not be here every time you call!” came the Doctor’s voice as the TARDIS door swung open.
River took a deep breath, trying and failing to adopt her customary confidence. She was saved instead by the Doctor recognising Sarah-Jane and pulling her into a tight hug, speaking at a hundred words a minute as he greeted her. Sarah-Jane’s reaction was just as enthusiastic, but the woman was mindful of the real reason the Doctor was here, and after a few moments stepped back, excusing herself to make tea.
Alone with the Doctor, River found herself staring shyly at the floor, tears filling her eyes. She heard the Doctor’s footsteps approaching, but couldn’t force herself to meet his eyes.
“Don’t hide from me River,” said the Doctor, sighing. “People run and hide from me all over the universe, and even when they don’t, you can see the fear in their eyes. They trust me, yes, but there’s still that fear. You’re the one person who has never looked at me with fear in their eyes.” He reached out and brought her face up. “You’re more scared of yourself and what you’re capable of than me.” He carefully wiped away her tears with the pads of his thumbs, cupping her face. “Why do you think you need forgiven for this?”
For once River had nothing to say.
The Doctor smiled, putting his arm around River’s shaking shoulders, and guided her to come to stand with him in front of the TARDIS. “River Song, meet my other woman. Well, the only other woman permanently in my life.”
River managed a laugh through her tears.
“I love you, River Song, and I always will, but you know I love my TARDIS, and I love each and every person I travel with. We lead complicated lives. We have a complicated relationship-“
“That might just be the understatement of the century,” huffed River.
“But it works. Despite time and space and everything the universe can throw at us, we work.” He took her hand and placed it on his chest. “Two hearts, River, one of them yours, always, and the other to free to love my companions, and the wonderful being that allows me to be who I am. The same wonderful being that allowed you to be who you are.” He looked towards the TARDIS, smiling, before devoting his attention back to River. “I love you, River. I love you being you, and underneath it all, that means being that sweet, loving girl you are. You love her?”
It was more a statement than a question, but River nodded in answer anyway.
“And she loves you. Don’t break her heart River,” said the Doctor. “I hate to see her sad. I already have Rory to deal with.”
“She didn’t…” River trailed off into silence as the meaning of the Doctor’s words sunk in. She stepped out of the Doctor’s embrace, pacing.
“I’m enrolling him in a 51st century nursing course, take his mind off of things, and we bought season tickets to the football.”
River couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculous of it all. The Doctor, her husband consoling her father, the husband of the woman she loved; her mother. Her pacing was halted by a hand in her shoulder. “You love her and she loves you. After all we’ve seen, that should be enough, River. It shouldn’t matter, what, or who, they are.”
She managed a weak smile. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” the Doctor smiled back. “Now, I do believe Sarah-Jane was making tea,” he said brightly, heading towards the door. He paused in the doorway. “Stop running from her, River. You’re the person I always come running to - although I’ll never admit that in company! Let her be yours.” And with that, he was gone, skipping down the stairs, leaving River go let go of the breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding as she slumped against the TARDIS, who hummed happily at the contact.
“So even you approve?” she gave a small chuckle. “Well, if two of the oldest-.” At this was a small buzz of discontent. “Wisest.” The pleasant hum returned. “Approve, then I might just have to believe you.”
**
“God, I have missed this,” moaned Sarah-Jane as she stretched out on the couch, her feet in River’s lap as the blonde expertly massaged her feet. The Doctor had left some hours ago, and since then, Sarah-Jane had simply enjoyed River’s company. Since talking to the Doctor, the curly haired woman had become much more relaxed, more the River Sarah-Jane remembered and loved. “You know, you could always move in,’ she rambled on, her eyes closed. “You and Amy. You wouldn’t have to pay rent, you could just do this.”
River laughed, smiling at the relaxed form of the woman in front of her. “Somehow I don’t think she’d go for that.”
“What would she go for, then? You’ve told me you love her, but you haven’t told me about her. What she looks like, who she is.”
River smiled at the chance to talk openly about the woman she loved and not feel guilty. “She’s amazing. Brave, smart, beautiful.”
“Sounds just your type,” chuckled Sarah-Jane.
River grinned. “Definitely.”
“So what does she look like? Another brunette?”
“You talk like I only ever go for brunette’s.”
Sarah-Jane shrugged. “Me, the Doctor...”
“She’s ginger,” River cut in.
“Ooh, a firecrotch,” laughed Sarah-Jane, watching as River’s cheeks turned a charming shade of red.
River held her hands up. “No, we are not even going there.”
“Oh when did you become such a prude?” laughed Sarah-Jane, sitting up. She nudged River’s shoulder.
“Oh, come on, River Song. You have never-“ Her words were cut off by the doorbell.
“Expecting someone?”
Sarah-Jane shook her head. “I never am, and yet people still keep turning up. I just hope it’s not another crisis, I was enjoying my quiet night in.”
“Such is life when you’re a defender of the earth,” smiled River.
Sarah-Jane chuckled to herself as she went to answer the door. Leave it to River to make chasing aliens sound noble. Reaching the door she pulled it open, her eyes instantly landing on the tall, copper headed woman who stood in her doorway, fidgeting nervously.
“Amy?” she guessed, getting confirmation she was right in the startled and shocked gaze that was suddenly aimed at her. “I’m Sarah-Jane. I think I might know who you’re after.” She guided the girl inside, taking her coat. “In there,” she smiled, pointing her in the direction of the living room. “I’ll go and make some tea,” she said, smiling to herself. That sentence was quickly becoming her catch-phrase of the day.
“Who was…” River trailed off into silence as her eyes landed on Amy standing in the doorway. “Amy.” She stood from the couch, standing awkwardly, unsure of what to do.
“I love you,” blurted Amy, taking a step forward, but the pausing, adopting the same fidgeting stance as the blonde.
“I never meant to fall in love with you,” came River’s response, drawing a short sharp laugh from the red head.
“We can never make things easy can we?” She let out a sigh, crossing to stand in front of the window, where she was able to watch River without having to look her in the eye. “Did you speak to the Doctor?”
“Yeah,” breathed River. “I, uh, I called him, today.”
Amy nodded. “Right. Good.” She felt tears fill her eyes and closed her eyes tightly in an effort to stop them spilling out. She gasped when strong arms wrapped around her waist and a familiar form pressed tightly against her back. “If you’re going to tell me to leave, you can’t be doing this.”
“And if I’m asking you to stay?”
Amy opened her eyes and turned in the tight embrace. “Then you’d better mean it.”
In answer River crushed their lips together, feeling Amy’s arms slide around her neck, holding so tight she was practically being strangled. She smiled into the kiss, deciding then and there that she didn’t care how wrong this was, it was right.
*Back to the present*
“In love with your daughter and married to the Doctor. You know how to do complicated, don’t you River?” sighed Sarah-Jane, holding the still crying River to her, continually running a hand absently through her curls. “How did you get yourself into this one?”
“I don’t know. It’s like I’ve been playing the game I know, and while I haven’t been looking someone’s changed the board game. It was Amy who told me I was married to the Doctor and the Doctor who told me Amy was my mother!”
The frown of non-understanding didn’t leave Sarah-Jane’s face.
“Something somewhere in my timeline has changed. It’s like the path I was meant to be on forked somewhere and I’ve taken both roads without even realizing.”
“Which happened first?”
This time it was River’s turn to frown.
“Did you marry the Doctor, or fall in love with your m-, Amy, first?” asked Sarah Jane.
River paused, suddenly unsure of the answer. “Amy…I think. The first time I met her, at the Byzantium. I loved her from the moment I met her, almost before. Even if she was asking if I was the Doctor’s wife,” River sighed. “It’s as if I’m meant to be married to the Doctor, and I love him, I do. I love him so much, but at the same time, it feels right with Amy. It shouldn’t, but it does.” As she spoke she found herself sobbing harder once more until she was shaking in Sarah-Jane’s protective embrace.
Sarah-Jane, for her part, simply held River close, alternating between stroking her hair and rubbing soothing circles on her lower back, just as she used to when River would curl into her side, spent and limp after their love-making. When she felt River’s sobs subside, and her breathing even out, she kept up her soothing motions as she spoke, keeping her voice soft and low. “You can’t keep beating yourself up over this, River, and you won’t make things any better on your own. You need to talk to them, River.”
“How can I look at her, knowing that she knows. Knowing what we’ve done!”
“River, we both know there are far stranger things in this universe,” said Sarah-Jane, adopting her no-nonsense tone. “And if Amy loves you half as much as you do her, then it will be killing her not to see you. And I know the Doctor loves you. And I have no doubt he knows you River, and knows you well. He knows you’re not a simple woman, just as you know he’s the most naïve, complicated, genius of a fool that ever walked. He’ll understand, just as you understand that he’ll love every person that he brings into his TARDIS, that he’ll love his TARDIS, and that he’ll risk his life time and time again to save them.”
River sniffed, managing a small smile. “I hate it when I’m not the one who’s right.”
Sarah-Jane smiled back.
“What do the hell do I say?” asked River, looking completely helpless in her miserable state.
“Maybe you could see what they have to say first?” Suggested Sarah-Jane. “I doubt you let them get a word in before you ran off.” The look River gave her told her she was right. “I don’t suppose a phone would be of any use to you at this point?”
“Actually, yes,” laughed River. Finally, something in her life was simple.
“You’re kidding?” asked Sarah-Jane, her mouth open in disbelief.
“I can call, Amy, at least,” said River. “As for the Doctor. I have a few things to get his attention. Although a few of them are in need of a couple of slightly hard to find components.”
Sarah-Jane shook her head. Just when things were looking simple. “Well come on, we can take them to Mr Smith and see what he can do about tracking down your missing parts.”
*
Sarah-Jane sat at the small table she had set up in the attic, watching as River tried to cobble together a working transmitter that would reach the Doctor. Some time ago she had discretely placed the phone on the table, and had been nudging it closer to River ever since. River was scared, she knew that, but she had to face her fear sooner or later, and knowing River as she did, she knew she needed pushed. The woman’s specialty was running and not being found. It had to be when you had so many planets were offering a price for your head, attached or not.
“I’m not calling her today,” said River quietly, breaking the silence between the pair.
Sarah-Jane looked at her with an eyebrow raised.
“Janey, please,” pleaded River with her eyes too. “Just give me today, at least. Let me talk to the Doctor first.”
“Quit it with the eyes!” snapped Sarah-Jane, looking away. “But okay, you can have today to finish this transmitter and try and call the Doctor, but tomorrow…”
“I’ll call Amy,” finished River.
Sarah-Jane nodded, pleased that at least some progress seemed to be being made. “I’ll go and make us some tea,” she decided, rising from the table. At the doorway, she paused, looking back at her former lover, and hoping that the next couple of days would ease the tension from her shoulders.
*
“So this, routed through Mr Smith, should reach the TARDIS?” asked Sarah-Jane skeptically.
“Should, yes,” replied River.
“So this emits, what, an emergency beacon?” asked Sarah-Jane, striving to understand.
“No, it contacts the TARDIS,” replied River, her fingers moving over the console.
“Okay,” nodded Sarah-Jane, pacing as her brain tried to run over the processes involved. “How exactly?”
River turned to face her. “I don’t know.”
“Then how do you know it’ll work?”
“Because I can contact the TARDIS. I don’t know how it works, only that it does. The Doctor tried to explain it once, something about being the child of the TARDIS.”
“The child of the TARDIS?” asked Sarah-Jane, her mouth hanging open in disbelief.
River turned back from the console to face Sarah-Jane once more. “I didn’t mention that, did I?”
“No, River, no you didn’t.”
“Well, I am, sort of. I was conceived in the TARDIS, and it had some fun with my DNA, so I’m technically, sort of, part Time Lord,” explained River as best she could.
“Part time Lord?” asked Sarah-Jane warily. “So you can regenerate?”
“Could,” corrected River. “I used the rest of them saving the Doctor, so I only got the one shot at it properly. Still, I think I did not too badly,” she smiled, trying to lighten the mood. To her relief, Sarah-Jane smiled back.
“You really are something else entirely.”
*
River was practically shaking as the all too familiar sound of the TARDIS breaks filled the attic. Seeing her so nervous, Sarah-Jane reached out and took her hand in her own, offering her a supportive smile.
“River, how many times do I have to say it, I will not be here every time you call!” came the Doctor’s voice as the TARDIS door swung open.
River took a deep breath, trying and failing to adopt her customary confidence. She was saved instead by the Doctor recognising Sarah-Jane and pulling her into a tight hug, speaking at a hundred words a minute as he greeted her. Sarah-Jane’s reaction was just as enthusiastic, but the woman was mindful of the real reason the Doctor was here, and after a few moments stepped back, excusing herself to make tea.
Alone with the Doctor, River found herself staring shyly at the floor, tears filling her eyes. She heard the Doctor’s footsteps approaching, but couldn’t force herself to meet his eyes.
“Don’t hide from me River,” said the Doctor, sighing. “People run and hide from me all over the universe, and even when they don’t, you can see the fear in their eyes. They trust me, yes, but there’s still that fear. You’re the one person who has never looked at me with fear in their eyes.” He reached out and brought her face up. “You’re more scared of yourself and what you’re capable of than me.” He carefully wiped away her tears with the pads of his thumbs, cupping her face. “Why do you think you need forgiven for this?”
For once River had nothing to say.
The Doctor smiled, putting his arm around River’s shaking shoulders, and guided her to come to stand with him in front of the TARDIS. “River Song, meet my other woman. Well, the only other woman permanently in my life.”
River managed a laugh through her tears.
“I love you, River Song, and I always will, but you know I love my TARDIS, and I love each and every person I travel with. We lead complicated lives. We have a complicated relationship-“
“That might just be the understatement of the century,” huffed River.
“But it works. Despite time and space and everything the universe can throw at us, we work.” He took her hand and placed it on his chest. “Two hearts, River, one of them yours, always, and the other to free to love my companions, and the wonderful being that allows me to be who I am. The same wonderful being that allowed you to be who you are.” He looked towards the TARDIS, smiling, before devoting his attention back to River. “I love you, River. I love you being you, and underneath it all, that means being that sweet, loving girl you are. You love her?”
It was more a statement than a question, but River nodded in answer anyway.
“And she loves you. Don’t break her heart River,” said the Doctor. “I hate to see her sad. I already have Rory to deal with.”
“She didn’t…” River trailed off into silence as the meaning of the Doctor’s words sunk in. She stepped out of the Doctor’s embrace, pacing.
“I’m enrolling him in a 51st century nursing course, take his mind off of things, and we bought season tickets to the football.”
River couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculous of it all. The Doctor, her husband consoling her father, the husband of the woman she loved; her mother. Her pacing was halted by a hand in her shoulder. “You love her and she loves you. After all we’ve seen, that should be enough, River. It shouldn’t matter, what, or who, they are.”
She managed a weak smile. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” the Doctor smiled back. “Now, I do believe Sarah-Jane was making tea,” he said brightly, heading towards the door. He paused in the doorway. “Stop running from her, River. You’re the person I always come running to - although I’ll never admit that in company! Let her be yours.” And with that, he was gone, skipping down the stairs, leaving River go let go of the breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding as she slumped against the TARDIS, who hummed happily at the contact.
“So even you approve?” she gave a small chuckle. “Well, if two of the oldest-.” At this was a small buzz of discontent. “Wisest.” The pleasant hum returned. “Approve, then I might just have to believe you.”
**
“God, I have missed this,” moaned Sarah-Jane as she stretched out on the couch, her feet in River’s lap as the blonde expertly massaged her feet. The Doctor had left some hours ago, and since then, Sarah-Jane had simply enjoyed River’s company. Since talking to the Doctor, the curly haired woman had become much more relaxed, more the River Sarah-Jane remembered and loved. “You know, you could always move in,’ she rambled on, her eyes closed. “You and Amy. You wouldn’t have to pay rent, you could just do this.”
River laughed, smiling at the relaxed form of the woman in front of her. “Somehow I don’t think she’d go for that.”
“What would she go for, then? You’ve told me you love her, but you haven’t told me about her. What she looks like, who she is.”
River smiled at the chance to talk openly about the woman she loved and not feel guilty. “She’s amazing. Brave, smart, beautiful.”
“Sounds just your type,” chuckled Sarah-Jane.
River grinned. “Definitely.”
“So what does she look like? Another brunette?”
“You talk like I only ever go for brunette’s.”
Sarah-Jane shrugged. “Me, the Doctor...”
“She’s ginger,” River cut in.
“Ooh, a firecrotch,” laughed Sarah-Jane, watching as River’s cheeks turned a charming shade of red.
River held her hands up. “No, we are not even going there.”
“Oh when did you become such a prude?” laughed Sarah-Jane, sitting up. She nudged River’s shoulder.
“Oh, come on, River Song. You have never-“ Her words were cut off by the doorbell.
“Expecting someone?”
Sarah-Jane shook her head. “I never am, and yet people still keep turning up. I just hope it’s not another crisis, I was enjoying my quiet night in.”
“Such is life when you’re a defender of the earth,” smiled River.
Sarah-Jane chuckled to herself as she went to answer the door. Leave it to River to make chasing aliens sound noble. Reaching the door she pulled it open, her eyes instantly landing on the tall, copper headed woman who stood in her doorway, fidgeting nervously.
“Amy?” she guessed, getting confirmation she was right in the startled and shocked gaze that was suddenly aimed at her. “I’m Sarah-Jane. I think I might know who you’re after.” She guided the girl inside, taking her coat. “In there,” she smiled, pointing her in the direction of the living room. “I’ll go and make some tea,” she said, smiling to herself. That sentence was quickly becoming her catch-phrase of the day.
“Who was…” River trailed off into silence as her eyes landed on Amy standing in the doorway. “Amy.” She stood from the couch, standing awkwardly, unsure of what to do.
“I love you,” blurted Amy, taking a step forward, but the pausing, adopting the same fidgeting stance as the blonde.
“I never meant to fall in love with you,” came River’s response, drawing a short sharp laugh from the red head.
“We can never make things easy can we?” She let out a sigh, crossing to stand in front of the window, where she was able to watch River without having to look her in the eye. “Did you speak to the Doctor?”
“Yeah,” breathed River. “I, uh, I called him, today.”
Amy nodded. “Right. Good.” She felt tears fill her eyes and closed her eyes tightly in an effort to stop them spilling out. She gasped when strong arms wrapped around her waist and a familiar form pressed tightly against her back. “If you’re going to tell me to leave, you can’t be doing this.”
“And if I’m asking you to stay?”
Amy opened her eyes and turned in the tight embrace. “Then you’d better mean it.”
In answer River crushed their lips together, feeling Amy’s arms slide around her neck, holding so tight she was practically being strangled. She smiled into the kiss, deciding then and there that she didn’t care how wrong this was, it was right.