There's no need to get upset over something that you've chosen to give up on. In a way, your decision allowed you a way to get out of the situation you didn't want to be in, and you should be glad for it. Whether it's divine help, or a pure fluke, it's good you made that choice. Cheer up :)

This wait is killing me. On one hand I'd expect that they'd probably reject me, for whatever reason. But on the other hand, I really hope for good news.

Sigh...