(Untitled)

[hadtimeofmylife]

After everything that had happened, her change over the summer, things with Puck, things with Beth and Shelby and after finding out that Puck slept with Shelby, she felt herself spiraling out of control. Nothing seemed to work out. Last year, her life started out perfect, she was head cheerleader, dating the most amazing guy and she threw it all

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[imthenewguy]

It had been a day that had utterly shattered Sam and his entire world. He'd wanted to spend the day hanging out with Quinn. To see her and ask if she wanted to go to Breadstix with him. He'd gone through a lot that past year and, after trying to work through his feelings for Mercedes when he returned he was finally reaching the only sane conclusion; he was still in love with Quinn and he always would be. He'd called round and after a few knocks to the door upon which he received no answer, the door opened just so with the final knock. He knew it wasn't polite to enter her home without asking but if her car was parked up and the door was opening, yet there was no answer, it was enough to give him cause for concern.

Taking steps up towards her room, two at a time, calling her name as he did so, he almost tumbled over when he stepped in to her room. It was a horror movie playing out before him and he almost felt like he wasn't even there. He was watching himself move to her prone body. He was watching himself hold back a sob at seeing the photo of him along with that of Beth, and the promise ring he'd wondered about. He tried to wake her; he called her name, he shook her and lifted her, clutching her to his chest when he couldn't feel a pulse. He sobbed, even down the phone when he called for the Ambulance. He'd heard of miracle stories where they could bring people back and they could do that for her, right?

Wrong.

The sobbing didn't end then. He spent that entire night curled up in a ball, crying hysterically in the corner of Kurt's bedroom. He fought back any attempts to hold him, just begging for them to promise him it was a nightmare and Quinn wasn't dead. He knew he wasn't the only one suffering - they all were, they were all hurting - but something inside of Sam simply broke. The girl he loved was gone. He'd been too late.

He blamed himself, too. Why else would she have the ring and photo beside her? It was his fault, he could have saved her. He should have saved her.

The days after passed by in a numb blur. He didn't go to school. He barely even moved. His parents came to Lima, worried for him, but Sam refused to go home. It was too far away from Quinn. Too far. He stopped even getting out of the bed he was sleeping in in the Hummel-Hudson household, only getting up, washed and dressed the day of her funeral. He sat there, staring dead ahead at the coffin, wishing nothing more than that he was in there too. Dead as she was, just like he felt inside. She'd gone and nothing, nothing felt worth it any more.

After the funeral, he asked Judy Fabray for permission to just see Quinn's room one more time. To sit in there and surround himself with everything Quinn. She allowed him, already half cooked in her attempt to drink away her grief. So Sam sat there, clutching the promise ring in the palm of his hand and let his head drop forwards as he let out a quiet sob.

[hadtimeofmylife]

Quinn had been there when Sam found her body, she wanted to say something, but for some reason she couldn't find her voice. She wanted to comfort him, to tell him everything was okay, even more so when she saw him crying. When he left though, after the ambulance took her body away she wanted to follow, but she couldn't leave the front lawn. She was hoping that somehow, for some reason he would end up back at her house. She figured people could see her, when she wanted them to because Judy had gotten a glimpse of Quinn the day before, but Judy didn't dare say that to anyone because she didn't want anyone to think she was crazy or simply seeing things.

Judy ended up holding a gathering at the house after the funeral and Quinn stood at the top of the stairs, seeing people entering the house, though no one could see her. She watched Sam walk in and had never seem him as pale, as sad as he had been right there.

She didn't go downstairs though because all she heard was quiet talking and faint crying. She thought no one would show up, but even the entire glee club did. Even Santana was crying. She couldn't take it back though because she had no time machine. She went to her bedroom, pacing back and forth trying to think if she should just go downstairs and try to say something, but no. Everyone would freak out. She heard a noise and turned as she stood beside her bed and saw Sam walking in, sitting on her bed and crying. Even though dead she felt her heart breaking and she took a few steps closer and finally spoke up.

"Please, don't be sad, Sam. I don't want you to cry over me, please," and she made sure to will herself visible behind him.

[imthenewguy]

Sam thought he'd imagined it at first. Sitting there, sobbing quietly as he clutched the ring so tight it was biting in to the skin of his palm. He liked that, though. He needed it to remind him how to feel. How to feel something other than an utter emptiness at losing her. He heard her voice and he was sure that he was imagining her there because he wanted so badly. He just wanted her. He lifted his head a little and, as foolish as he felt talking to what he thought was himself, he did it.

"Then you shouldn't have gone, Quinn. I love you. You should be here with me."

[hadtimeofmylife]

"I know that.. now and I'm sorry. I love you, too and I'm so sorry. But I'm here right now, for how long I don't know, but for now I'm here. Just look at me, Sam. I'm here."

[imthenewguy]

"You're dead, you're not here! I'm going crazy over this!" Sam pushed up from the bed then and, letting out another sob, turned to look towards some of the photographs in her room. But it was then that he saw her and he stumbled back, tripping over his feet and falling to the floor of her room with a quiet thud. "Wh--I--I really am going crazy..."

[hadtimeofmylife]

Her eyes widened and when he fell she moved over to kneel down beside him on the floor. "You're not going crazy. I.. uh.. do you want me to leave? Would that make you feel less crazy because I swear to you, Sam.. you're not crazy," she reached out to brush her fingertips against his cheek and she was solid, but her touch was ice cold.

[imthenewguy]

Sam sucked in a breath at her touch and he was sure he was gone. That he'd finally taken that step in to missing her so much that he was actually crazy. He felt her though. He felt her. The contact to his cheek had his own hand shooting up to touch over where she just had and he stared, eyes wide. "I--but this isn't possible. I've got to be crazy. I know I miss you but I didn't think I'd end up like this..." He reached his hand out towards her then but, with it shaking he drew it back, almost afraid to touch her. If he felt something, then it was real but if he didn't, he was nuts. He didn't want to end up nuts.

[hadtimeofmylife]

"I can't really explain how I'm here, but I am. I just know you're not crazy," when he drew his hand back she reached up to grab it and place it on her own cheek. "See, I'm here. I'm really here. And you shouldn't miss me. You really shouldn't."

[imthenewguy]

"I--I--" His eyes watered all over again and, before he knew it he was letting out another sob and lifting his other hand to press on her other cheek. He could feel her. She was cold, freezing, but her skin was as soft as ever. It was impossible, but there she was. "I love you. I can't do this without you, Quinn."

[hadtimeofmylife]

She made sure to place her hands atop his, to try and keep him as close as possible. "I love you, too. So much. So damn much. But you can do everything without me, Sam. You're strong, I know you are."

[imthenewguy]

Sam just shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment. As wrong as it was, as insane as it was, he was touching her and she was touching him and for a brief second, he felt right again. "Why did you leave, Quinn? I-- I wanted to take you to Breadstix. I wanted to be with you."

[hadtimeofmylife]

Even ghosts could cry, at least that's what she found out right now. When he said he wanted to be with her, she shook her head and pulled back from his hands, feeling those tears run down her face. They were cold as well. "I.. didn't think you wanted me. I felt like everything was going wrong, that no one wanted me, that everyone hated me. Puck even preferred Shelby over me and he only came over to sleep with me because he was mad at her. I was tired of crying, of hurting and of screwing up my life and everyone else's. I just felt like with me gone, everyone would be better off. I.. I can't ever hurt you again, Sam."

[imthenewguy]

"It's always gonna hurt now you're not here with me," he sobbed, biting on his bottom lip as he shook his head, trying to stop himself from crying again. From what he knew, Puck didn't actually sleep with Quinn and admittedly that helped his own ego, even though he knew it didn't help hers. "I wanted you. I was coming round the day I found you to ask you out. I found you, Quinn. I couldn't wake you up. I tried really hard to wake you up."

[hadtimeofmylife]

"I know you found me, I was there. Watching. And I didn't want you to find me like that, I never wanted you to find me like that, Sam. I know you tried to wake me up though and I.. I just don't want you to be sad. Please. I realize that's probably a lot to ask, but I want you to move on, to go to college because I've always known that you're smart enough. To.. to get married, have amazing kids because they're a part of you. That's what I want for you," she lifted a hand to gently let her fingers run through his shorter hair. "You always meant the world to me though. I want you to know that."

[imthenewguy]

Sam just shook his head as he leaned in closer, pressing his forehead to hers. As cold as she felt, he needed to be close to her so badly. He needed to feel that solid comfort of her touch. He needed to feel her. "I wanted all of that with you. I don't want it with anyone else."

[hadtimeofmylife]

She closed her eyes tightly when their foreheads were pressed together and now she let out a quiet sob. "We.. we can't have that anymore, Sam. We can't grow old together, we can't get married or have kids. You.. need to move on," and it hurt so much for her to say that to him because she wanted to be with him, that was all she truly, deep down ever wanted. She told him that when he broke up with her. She just wanted him and because she was stupid and hurting, she could never have that. "I'm sorry."