Clooney in 2008.
Colbert + Obama 4eva!
In a shocking election twist that *nobody* saw coming, Presidential Speechwriter Stephen Colbert has announced he is running for President against current Vice President (and Future Overlord) Barack Obama.
Well, at least in the state of South Carolina.
How exactly this will work out if Colbert wins the presidency of South Carolina isn't quite clear to this hack blogger journalist, who doesn't really want to become a citizen of the New Republic of South Carolina, but just might for a case of Americone Dream.
What *is* clear is that things are probably a bit jacked up in the White House at the moment, which is still repairing holes in the Lincoln Bedroom from the much-ballyhooed World War III over President Clooney's friendship with Clive Owen and the First Gentleman's dealings with 007. Thankfully the first family has survived this storm, and, in fact, is now denying reports that they are adopting a sibling for The Most Adorable First Son Ever.
Insiders insist Colbert's presidency run is simply his bid for attention from his current man-crush (Obama -- not long time love, White House Special Correspondent Jon Stewart) and that this will all be resolved by an Obama/Colbert presidency ticket in 2012. To which I would just like to trademark Cobama ™ and/or Obert ™ now.
The White House has, unsurprisingly, chosen not to comment on the current fiasco. In fact, when asked about who President Clooney will end up stumping for, White House Chief of Staff Ari Gold told reporters from The New York Times to, "Go fucking report on real news, like Angie finally knocking up Brad. I always knew he had the pussy in that relationship!"
We will provide further updates as they come to me they are provided.
For jaebi_lit.
For those of you who are new to these parts 'Clooney in 2008' is a exceedingly fictitious world (that only exists in random press releases) that I've created where George Clooney is President, Barack Obama is the Veep, Ari is the Chief of Staff, Oprah is the Secretary of State and Lewis Black is the Secretary of Defense. Oh and Anderson Cooper is First Gentleman because well, why not?