(no subject)
After I had my panic moment my friend Jakub and I went to Akihabara and had a good time. I calmed down. Even resolved to stay.
When I returned my mom had sent me an email insisting that I return to America. Can't really argue with the people who pay all your bills. I left 2 days after that.
Despite all our efforts, my university, like so many others in the US, have canceled our study abroad programs.
Now I am stuck in the US. I had to leave things at my Tokyo apartment that I want back, but am unlikely to see ever again.
So... I have my good days and my bad days. It helps to have distractions, but at night when I try to sleep I can't quiet my brain. It always goes back to all the things I didn't get to do, the places I didn't get to see, and how bad I feel about the whole thing even though none of it was my fault. Part of me still feels like it is.
Currently we're looking into moving me to Austin in time for summer session at UT, maybe with a part time job to boot.