Jul 08, 2004 22:23
Ecchi's gonna get it. This is the third time in a row I've come over to her house and been left out in the cold...
The first time was when we were supposed to go see Spider-Man 2 the first time. I knock on the door, and no-one answers. I knock again and hear her mom yell "Hang on a sec" from inside. I wait. And wait. Finally I knock a third time and wait five more minutes before I start to walk towards my car (by now I've been waiting outside in the god-awful heat for thirty minutes). Right as I'm climbing into my car I hear her mom calling for me from her house. About goddamn time. Needless to say we didn't get to see the movie (Ecchi was in the shower at the time, so it took her another half-hour to get ready) but we made plans to go see it the next day.
So I come over to her house once she got off work expecting to see the movie I'd put off seeing the night it came out because Ecchi really wanted to go see it. I was excited. I was ready for a good evening. I was standing outside her fucking house again banging on the door like the cops trying to get her to let me in. We got to go see the 10:00 showing, during which the belt on the projector decided to snap about fifteen minutes into the movie. The plan is to go see it again Saturday.
Tonight was the third strike. I told Ecchi I'd come over and see her tonight after I got off of work. I said I'd be over at 10:00. She said she'd be waiting. Once again I showed up right on time (damn, I'm good) and knocked on the door. No reply. Knock again. Still no reply. Third knock. Nothing. Now I'm not annoyed any more. Now I'm pissed. I can take quite a bit, but this shit's just gotten weak.
Update: Ecchi just called. I don't know if the fact I'm pissed registered. She wanted to see me tomorrow night, but I've gotta run the Exalted game. Dunno if that registered either. I do know one thing, though. I'm not calling her ass. She can call me. I know I'm being childish here, but I just don't know any other way to be.
Oh, by the way, she went out with C******** on Thursday night. Yes, that C********. It was just dinner. I believe. Goddamnit, before tonight I was starting to trust her again. I know I can't controll her actions, but doesn't she get the fact that he's not trying to "just be friends?"
See? I told you I'm a fucking glutton for punishment.
I really don't want to have a fight with her, as in my opinion the relationship is still on the mend (or I just haven't realized it's over yet) but every time she says that fucking creep's name it just drives a stake through my heart. I dunno, if she really wants to see him so bad maybe I should just let her. Without me, of course. Maybe she'd be happy with him.
Her loss, right?
Yeah, I'm SUCH a catch (note dripping sarcasm).
Maybe that's just it. Could it be that I'm willing to put up with all of this shit because for some reason (lots of reasons, really) I think I'm not worthy of being loved? Am I holding on to something that's so hurtful because I'm so afraid that once I've lost it I'll never get it back? I'm the sort of guy who can analyze other people's situations and give them what usually ends up being spot-on advice. Whenever I'm involved, however, all that goes to hell. I guess my emotions are just too murky. If I could tell what the hell I'm feeling, maybe I could give myself advice. It's just so unclear that I can't really put a name on it.
Then again, I could just be being a drama queen. I do that sometimes.
Basically, I think I just need to grow a set of balls. All I do is let people walk all over me, which is all I've ever done. It's comfortable at the bottom. You don't really have to do much, except whine about your lot in life. I can do that REALLY well, and I am a very lazy fellow.
I was going to post my Exalted storyline up here, as I think it's pretty cool, but that would ruin the atmosphere of this post. I think I'll just leave it all nice and gloomy.
Hentai out.
relationships