Fic Commentary: Resraints, Ch. 2
Hi guys! Incurable romantic, party of one here, just so you know. Still no handcuffs, but have patience. And besides, the whole point of expanding the original vignette was to provide the backstory (and what happens afterwards, don’t you fret.)
I am an incurable romantic. And I love romantic tropes. I feel like handcuffs is one. This story really is one big romantic trope, but that is okay. I like letting them live happily ever after.
xxxxx
Chapter 2
xxxxx
Relationships were hard. They took work.
Especially between people who were private, and stubborn, and actually, just plain closed off.
It took time to get close to someone like that. You couldn’t just waltz in and plant yourself in the middle of their affections (though certain members of the legal profession seemed to want to try).
Heh. Tsk, tsk. Namby-pamby lawyer should no better...
There was finesse involved.
It was one step forward, two steps back.
Jane knew that. He’d always known that.
He’d just gotten confused about that for a while, forgotten what mattered.
Luckily he wasn’t a complete moron.
He isn’t. He just does stupid things sometimes.
xxxxx
Wednesday morning, several months earlier
xx
Jane was back.
He was really back.
He was actually on the other side of the room, lying on his couch in the bullpen like it was just another day at the CBI.
There you go Lisbon. You didn’t lose another person to Red John, at least not yet. That should please you.
Lisbon’s grip tightened on her morning cup of coffee as she walked softly into the almost-empty bullpen (not quite empty though, not quite, and that made all the difference). “Hi,” she said softly, biting her lip to keep her smile under control. After all, who knew what was going through his head. “How are you?”
Jane turned towards her, “I’m well. But there’s no need to look so surprised at my presence Lisbon,” he told her. “I did say that I’d see you today. Since you did manage to solve your case yesterday.”
“Hey!” she exclaimed. That case had been tricky.
“Although I admit, it is flattering that you’re so obviously pleased to see me,” Jane added, his eyes scanning her rapidly and repeatedly. He hadn’t seen her in almost a week and he wasn’t used to going so long without her. He was feeling the urge to remind himself of her little personal quirks.
He would point that out. He always does. Takes pleasure in lording the fact that she likes him over her. Also, I think he likes reminding himself that she does care. For all his, theories about needing to be cold and aloof and cruel, he likes that she cares about him. Because he cares right back.
“I...” Lisbon paused. She was pleased to see him, but she wasn’t sure how to tell him that.
I love how her first thought is that she can’t go right out and say it. Obviously.
“Yes, Lisbon?” Jane asked.
She decided to just bite the bullet. “It is good to see you,” she admitted softly. “Because of, you know... After...”
And then she does, because she has no idea what else to say.
“After what?” Jane asked in his most deliberately neutral tone.
Not that Jane makes it easy on her.
“You know what,” Lisbon replied in exasperation.
He acknowledged the point with a nod. “I do.”
Lisbon figured one of them would have to bring up what had happened eventually. In his current mood it was unlikely to be Jane. “Did you want to talk about it?”
“Do you?” he countered.
She rolled her eyes. “I asked you first.”
“And this isn’t elementary school Lisbon,” Jane replied patronizingly.
She sighed. “I just feel like maybe we should.”
“Was there anything in particular you wanted to discuss?” Jane wondered. He could think of any number of conversations that they could be having, none of them particularly appealing.
It’s a fair point. What do you say that hasn’t already been said? “I’m glad you’re not dead. I’m glad I stopped you from getting anyone else killed. I’m glad that you didn’t get to commit murder.” And then he says, what? “I’m irritated with you for preventing me from carrying out my goal. I feel like something’s missing from inside me. I’m not sure I’ll ever have closure now.” They both know that. It doesn’t need to be said.
“Well...” Lisbon hesitated.
“Exactly,” Jane told her.
“Okay,” she admitted shuffling slightly from side to side. “I don’t know quite where to start. But Red John’s dead.”
“Yes he is,” Jane agreed, the now-familiar mixture of anger and elation blossoming in his chest.
“And how do you feel about that?” Lisbon pressed.
“Ecstatic,” Jane said bluntly. It was true. The sheer fact of the serial killer’s death was enough to make him want to celebrate for a month.
“Jane...” Lisbon warned.
“What?” he asked her, irritated by her judgemental tone. “You’re pleased too.”
“Pleased is the wrong word,” she told him. She was glad the serial killer was dead, but it still seemed somehow wrong to say you were pleased that someone had been shot. Oh, she would always count it as a win, a big win, but it didn’t exactly give her pleasure. Satisfaction, pride, a general sense of having protected the public and made California a little safer. She was happy about all that, but it still seemed wrong to be so glad that a man had been shot through the forehead in a warehouse. Even if it was absolutely the right thing to do.
“Relieved then,” Jane corrected, watching her face closely. “You would be even more relieved the whole thing’s over, except that you’re still not sure about my mental state.”
He’s being a bit of a jerk here. He’s not good with dealing with her affection for him directly, even if he uses it for his own benefit all the time.
Lisbon felt herself getting exasperated. She always did when he made fun of her for worrying. “Oh for...”
“I told you not to worry Lisbon, though I acknowledge that I may as well tell the sun not to shine,” Jane told her, a hint of affection creeping into in his tone.
“It’s cloudy,” she said dryly.
He smirked briefly. “Sun’s still shining behind the clouds.”
She sighed. “Fine. You win. We’ll talk later. Or not at all. Just tell me if you’re...”
“I don’t know, Lisbon,” he told her honestly.
“Oh,” she said, trying to ignore the wave of disappointment washing over her. “Well, you’re always welcome on this team, so whatever you decide...”
I think she would assume he’d leave. He’s left before when he couldn’t get what he wanted re: Red John on her team. Why would she think he’d stay now?
Jane sat up abruptly. “What are you talking about?”
Except that now Jane’s panicking, because as I said, she’s his constant. And now he’s afraid she’s taking that away.
She stared at him, hope temporarily renewed. “Weren’t you...”
“I thought you were going to ask me if I was doing okay again,” Jane clarified. “Not if I was staying. Which I thought I would. For the time being at least. What else am I going to do with my time?”
Lisbon frowned. “That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement...”
He held her gaze and gave in slightly. “I’m not ready for any more change right now.” He admitted.
Not a ringing endorsement, but the truth. And good enough for her. It’s not like Jane was ever in it for justice anyway, so it wouldn’t affect his performance on the cases. He’s always been pretty detached.
She exhaled. Of course. That made sense. Jane was feeling a little lost. Well, she was more than willing to try and be there for him, if he’d let her. “Okay. If you need anything...”
“I still know where your office is,” Jane assured her.
“Okay,” Lisbon said one last time before turning to leave. “It’s good to have you back.”
He stopped her. “And Teresa?”
“Yeah?”
“You can let your smile free now,” he assured her. “I won’t be insulted.”
“Shut up,” she said immediately.
But she was grinning as she said it.
And her gait as she left was positively bouncing with pleasure.
Jane watched her go. It was good to see her. He was happy to see her.
He hadn’t been sure he would be.
The fact that he was, was a relief.
Smiling himself now, Jane settled deeper into the couch, his couch.
He is happy to see her. (Best friends.) But that doesn’t mean everything’s easy.
xxxxx
They may have begun things positively (well, sort of), but that didn’t mean things went perfectly smoothly between Agent and Consultant from that point on.
Their pleasure at seeing each other trumps his anger and resentment, at least at first.
After all, the two of them were both stubborn and strong-willed, and it turned out Jane wasn’t quite ready to forgive or to forget.
His irritation with Lisbon surfaced at unpredictable, and often unexpected, moments. Some days he was fine, things felt basically normal. Some days he found himself snapping at her, deliberately provoking her, arguing with her, frustrated by what he considered her stubborn and occasionally rigid insistence on procedure (which was still a bit of a sensitive subject). He picked fights with her. Sometimes Lisbon ignored him when he did it, shut down on him, didn’t respond. Other times she snapped, got angry and the two of them had it out.
I could see this happening too. Jane is such a child sometimes, he would react like this. He wouldn’t be able to help himself.
But even on the worst days she didn’t leave him, though in hindsight he figured she might have come close more than once. He wondered if he’d been unconsciously trying to make her, trying to see how far she was willing to go, or maybe just to give him a more genuine reason to be angry with her. He didn’t know. He just knew that he’d come close to losing control more than once and nearly tried to make her leave.
But Lisbon never got that angry. He never pushed that far.
And one day Jane finally realized that was a deliberate (though subconscious) decision on his part.
He’s very careful not to push her too far. Even if he’s not always aware of that fact.
Lisbon was the closest friend he had. He cared about her. And he knew she cared about him. What’s more, he valued their relationship. It was why he’d started trusting her with Red John in the first place, why he’d started confiding in her, why he’d stuck to her afterwards, why he didn’t actually want to get rid of her, even after what would maybe always feel just a little bit like a betrayal (though one he understood).
Annoyed and petulant as he was, Jane realized he wasn’t anywhere near willing to toss a relationship a decade in the making out the window. Especially since Lisbon had just done what came naturally to her (and what she’d always threatened to do).
Jane often does respect people for following their own principles, even if he disagrees. It’s an interesting trait.
And then one day, after he teased her about one of the security guards down at the court house who had a little bit of a crush and she smacked him in the arm with her file (just like she used to, before), Jane realized the most surprising thing of all: he wasn’t angry with her anymore.
He might even be enjoying his life.
xxxxx
Lisbon was pouring herself that all-important first coffee of the day in the break room, mentally preparing herself for her day.
The problem was that she wasn’t sure what she’d be mentally preparing herself for.
The last few weeks had been rocky, she wasn’t going to lie. But she consoled herself with the fact that they could have been worse.
She’d never thought it would be easy.
True, but I think she hoped for some kind of miracle.
And Jane (so far) hadn’t crossed any lines there was no going back from, though sometimes she wondered.
She hadn’t ever given up on him though. She didn’t know why sometimes. The man was infuriating when he wanted to be. And he often wanted to be, particularly recently for obvious reasons.
But...
Yes, there it was, but.
But a lot of things.
For one, Lisbon admitted that there may have been a (thankfully small) part of herself that felt like she deserved the way he was treating her. She’d handcuffed him to a car on the day he’d been working towards for the better part of a decade. Oh, it had been the right thing to do, but that didn’t make her feel 100% better about it; it just allowed her to sleep at night, and to hope.
She would feel guilty about it. Guilty that she couldn’t just stand by and let Jane shoot a man. My poor Lisbon.
Which was another thing, she wasn’t always sure Jane was actually angry at her.
He was angry and frustrated in her direction, but Lisbon also suspected in his own direction as well. She’d seen something behind his eyes more than once, when he was at his worst, something that looked suspiciously like panic. She wasn’t sure exactly what scared him, but she was unwilling to abandon him to face it alone.
This is the other thing. Jane is just freaking out, to a certain extent. Trying to figure out his world, and his place in it. She kind of shook everything up. He doesn’t deal well with change.
Because he was her consultant. Because he used to be her friend, and she’d like him to be again.
Lisbon remembered how things were before Red John; Jane talked to her. She was the only one he talked to, and she’d talked to him back. She remembered being able to confide in him about her frustrations, her insecurities, her job. In hindsight, the fact that she had talked to him was almost shocking (she hadn’t confided in anyone in years), but it hadn’t felt in the slightest bit strange at the time. Talking to Patrick Jane had become the most natural thing in the world to Teresa Lisbon. Just like it had become natural to wander up to his attic for a coffee break, or let him drag her out for quick meals when she was working a case, or for her to find fresh fruit stashed all over her office.
And she knew that she’d give him more time, as much as he needed, if only she could have that back again.
Best friends. (I may repeat that at random intervals throughout this commentary. Because it pleases me.)
The only thing that made Lisbon pause was that she wasn’t always sure that was ever going to be possible. Maybe she’d destroyed the possibility of a genuine friendship when she’d taken steps to keep him safe. Maybe that was the price she’d have to pay.
But then, some days Jane would come into her office with a smile and a bear claw and she’d remember to hope.
Lisbon sighed, and wandered back to her office. After all, it’d taken years for her to achieve any sort of familiarity with Jane (or maybe it was more accurate to say that it had taken years for him to achieve any sort of familiarity with her. She could admit now that at the beginning of their relationship her walls had been far higher). And it hadn’t even been two months since Red John’s death.
It did take years. There’s been a notable difference between S1 and S4 (for all that she is quite comfortable in his company sometimes in S1). I imagine progress was even slower during the first five years, while they were getting to S1.
Maybe she just needed some more patience, something the CBI agent acknowledged that she wasn’t the best at.
Lisbon ducked in the door of her office and abruptly stopped walking.
There were flowers on her desk. Not a huge showy arrangement that was about two feet tall with flowers spilling out in all directions, but something smaller. Just a simple vase of irises mixed in with a bit of baby’s breath and some sort of green, leafy thing.
I may have a thing about Jane giving Lisbon flowers. I always have. I don’t know why exactly, but I do.
There were flowers on her desk that hadn’t been there ten minutes ago.
Talking a few steps forward, Lisbon plucked the card poking out of side of the vase and turned it over.
“Thank you,” was all it said.
Lisbon felt her heart begin to race and she bit her lip. There was only one person who would buy her this, only one person who would wait until she left to sneak it into her office, only one person who’d even consider buying her flowers, and he... and he...
Poor Lisbon, getting all emotional, and not quite knowing how to deal with it. Jane’s probably better at dealing with his emotions than she is, and that’s saying something. Although, it’s kind of a tough call. Jane’s at least better in a few months time, when Red John isn’t quite so immediate.
And he’d just walked into her office behind her.
“Morning Lisbon,’ Jane said softly as he shut the door.
Lisbon sniffed. “Morning,” she managed to whisper in what sounded like a semi-normal sort of a voice.
Jane walked closer and Lisbon felt him brush a couple fingers across the back of her arm. She turned her head slightly to look up at him, her eyes half-hidden beneath rapidly blinking eyelids. “They’re from you?” she double-checked.
She has to be sure, because if they’re coincidentally from someone else, well...
“They’re from me,” Jane promised, his eyes latching on to the hope in hers like a lifeline. He realized then how much she wanted the flowers to be from him, how much that meant to her, maybe even how much he meant to her.
Jane watched her swallow thickly and hold up his card. “What for?” she asked.
He shrugged and stepped closer. “For everything,” he admitted.
She’s his good witch Glinda...
“Oh,” she exhaled.
“Lisbon,” he told her as he reached for her hand. “I...” he wasn’t sure exactly what to say and so settled for threading his fingers through hers.
She turned away suddenly and so Jane felt compelled to speak.
“I know I haven’t been the easiest person to live with this last little while,” he started to explain, feeling her fingers twitch against his as she shook her head. “And I know things haven’t been the best.”
“S’okay,” she said thickly.
She would say that. Because she’ll take the punishment. She always takes the punishment. She’ll shield the people she cares about from anything. That’s what she does.
He smiled affectionately. “I know you think it is, and maybe that’s true. I don’t know. But a funny thing happened to me this morning Lisbon. Do you know what that is?” he asked gently, trying to get a better look at her eyes.
She shook her head again, not quite sure how to deal with the emotions welling up and threatening to overwhelm her. She hadn’t been expecting this, not at all, and she felt unprepared, exposed. She’d hoped things were getting better between the two of them, but she’d never dared to dream that...
“I felt happy,” Jane told her, taking the leap.
Lisbon did look at him then, the hope shining through green tear-filled eyes nearly knocking him through a loop.
She’s happy he’s happy. That’s all she’s ever wanted for him. And he’s happy, and still around, which is even better.
Without thinking he pulled her against him. “It felt good Lisbon,” he whispered. “And I realized I was sick of sniping with you over things that were stupid. And I know that you haven’t been having the easiest few months either, and I... Hey, it’s okay,” he added when he saw her shoulders shake, and one stray tear overflow down her cheek.
Oh look! It’s another thing I’m obsessed with! J/L hugs...
She let herself lean against his shoulder. “I know,” she sniffled. “I just... I wasn’t expecting...”
“Neither was I, to be honest,” Jane told her candidly.
He wasn’t. It hit him the night before. But once Jane decides something, he’s hardly one to dawdle about it.
His sudden cheerfulness made her laugh, and she stood back up, quickly wiping her eyes. “Must be the first thing you haven’t seen coming,” she said dryly. “That you admit to at least.”
He smiled back.
Lisbon glanced back at her flowers. “They’re beautiful, Jane,” she told him. “Thank you.”
“Thank you,” he told her sincerely, gripping her shoulders and looking her straight on in the eyes.
“Are you sure?” she whispered.
Her doubts would have irritated him had they come from anyone else, but this was his Lisbon, sceptical, untrusting, wonderful. Besides, he’d expected them (he’d have been worried if they hadn’t come). “I am,” he assured her. “I’m not sure I’ll every completely agree with the way things ended up happening. I mean, I’m not sure it’ll ever be exactly what I wanted, but now I feel... I feel like I’ll be okay.”
In other words, I’m still going to be annoying as all get out. But I’m going to stay. I want to be friends.
“That’s great Jane,” Lisbon told him sincerely.
“Thank you, Teresa,” he told her one more time.
She took a breath and forced herself to meet his eyes, forced herself to acknowledge his sincerity (and the fact that this was actually happening). “You’re welcome,” she whispered.
Jane beamed at her.
xxxxx
After that things started to even out a little bit more.
There was certainly less sniping between Agent and Consultant.
Jane started enjoying his job again, finding the fun in poking and prodding the arrogant and the guilty. Lisbon even let herself relax a little, when it became clearer and clearer that he wasn’t one step away from plunging off the edge.
He’s taking baby steps back. He’s Jane, so he’ll always be a little bit dangerous, but now he’s less manic. Nothing to be manic about anymore, after all.
And they started finding their feet with their friendship for the second.
Except that it was a bit different this time around, without the spectre of the serial killer lurking in the background.
The closeness they’d had before crept back quickly along with the subtle affection, but that wasn’t all it was.
They started doing things together. Innocent things, but things nonetheless. And significantly, things outside of work.
More than they ever had before.
Not that either of them would acknowledge it. Not these two. They’re just spending time together. They’re friends. Clearly that’s all it is...
xx
“Lisbon!” Jane said cheerfully as he ambled into her office. “What are your plans this fine evening?”
She glanced up at him from her laptop. “I dunno,” she shrugged. “Finishing the reviews for the personnel department then going home and watching old sitcom reruns? Why?”
“Because you’re not doing any of that,” Jane told her gleefully.
I’ve made plans and you’re coming. Although, she probably should. Whatever he’s got planned is probably more fun.
Lisbon groaned. “Please tell me that you’re not dragging me out for some insane stakeout for a ten-year old cold case like you did last week!”
In my head this is what Jane does to occupy his time now. He likes a challenge after all.
Jane pouted. “Okay, first of all,” he said, “We caught the guy.”
“He was innocent!” Lisbon reminded her consultant.
“Well, yes,” Jane agreed. “But we were able to rule him out as a suspect. And I’m still confident I can find the real killer. I just need to think of a new plan. I’m missing something.”
“You sure are,” Lisbon said dryly.
Jane shot her a look before remembering why he’d originally come into her office. “Anyway,” he said. “That’s not the point. I promise I have nothing stake-out related in mind tonight.”
Lisbon stared at him. “Then please tell me you’re not going to suggest spying on Cho again.”
Heh. This I would love to see. The two of them following poor Cho around, for mocking purposes.
Jane grinned. “No, not after you nearly gave us away with your giggling last time.”
Lisbon smirked. “You were no better!” she said, remembering Jane’s running commentary of the proceedings in her left ear. “And besides, I couldn’t resist. I never thought I’d see Cho taking dancing lessons!”
Jane shook his head. “You underestimate him. And he does love Elise.”
Anyone want to take bets on whether the show ever mentions Elise again? Given their record on continuity, I’m guessing nope.
“Apparently,” Lisbon agreed. “Still, I’d rather not spend my evening crammed in a cloak room, or behind some large piece of furniture.”
“Ye of little faith,” Jane scolded. “Actually I had something a little simpler in mind.”
“And what’s that?” she asked.
Jane smiled. “The Empire’s airing Casablanca tonight.”
And he knows she likes that movie. She canonically likes old movies, and that’s one she’d particularly like.
Lisbon’s eyes widened. “I really should do some work,” she said softly.
“Nonsense,” Jane told her with a wave of his hand.
“I’ve seen Casablanca,” she explained, trying to justify her decision.
Jane rolled his eyes. “Lisbon, everybody’s seen Casablanca. That’s not the point. And have you seen it on the big screen?”
“No,” Lisbon admitted.
“Excellent,” Jane told her. “I’ll pick you up at eight-thirty. That way you can work through dinner, and then afterwards you can go to the movie without worrying about your unfinished paperwork.”
“Jane...”
“It’s only playing for a few days, Lisbon,” Jane told her. “And you may never get an opportunity. Please don’t make me go alone.”
Lisbon tapped her pencil against her desk. She really did want to go. And sometimes it felt like she always worked late. She glanced at her watch and bit her lip.
This is why he’s good for her. He brings balance to her life. They’re such a good partnership. Best friends.
“What?” Jane asked her curiously, though he suspected he knew why she was hesitating.
Lisbon looked up at him hopefully. “Isn’t there a falafel place right next to the Empire?” she asked.
Jane’s smile grew two sizes. “Yes,” he confirmed slyly. “Why?”
She drummed her fingers on her desk. “Well, it doesn’t really make sense for me to bother going home to have dinner, and then coming all the way back to go to the movie, especially if I’m just grabbing something while reading this crap...”
“No, it doesn’t,” Jane murmured in easy agreement.
“And I worked through dinner yesterday,” Lisbon added, really starting to talk herself into doing what she wanted.
Jane sighed. “I thought you were going home early yesterday?”
He’s annoyed with her. He’s trying to get her to take better care of herself, and she just won’t cooperate. Clearly the solution is to get even closer to her, so he can’t take care of her from up close. CLEARLY. (See: Reminiscing in the Rhododendrons...)
“I did!” Lisbon justified. “Then I remembered something in my briefcase that really should have gotten done and I was just heating up leftovers anyway and...”
Jane sighed. “Okay, that’s it, I’ll let you work for, another hour,” he told her. “And then I’m coming and dragging you out of here and we’re going and getting falafels. And you are going to sit down at an actual table and eat like a normal person. And your meal is going to actually be balanced because you are getting some sort of salad...”
“My meal last night was balanced,” Lisbon insisted. “Just because it was quick and convenient...”
“Fine, fresh than,” Jane corrected.
“And I want popcorn,” Lisbon murmured.
I like her demand.
“Well, they do sell that at the movie theatre, so I’m sure that won’t be a problem,” Jane assured her with an indulgent smile.
Lisbon nodded, ignoring him. “Oh wait!” she said suddenly. “This is the black and white Casablanca right? They’re not airing one of the stupid colourized versions are they?”
I’ve never actually seen the colourized versions, but I have seen the original several times, and I can’t see how the colourized version would be anything but terrible. The original was filmed in black and white. The choices the director made where in that medium. I don’t think they’d all work in colour. Not to mention, it’d just look weird.
Jane looked scandalized at the mere idea. “As if I would bring you to a colourized Casablanca,” he said scornfully.
As well Jane should be insulted. She should know, he knows her better than that.
Lisbon smirked. “Sorry.”
“You should be,” her consultant muttered.
“Okay,” she said. “If we’re going I’ve really got to finish at least this file, so go.”
“One hour,” Jane warned her as he ducked out.
She just waved a dismissive hand in his direction.
xx
But Lisbon was more or less ready to go in an hour. She even graciously allowed Jane to drive her to the restaurant. She was also really looking forward to the movie, though she wasn’t quite admitting to herself how much.
This whole section is basically to show how close they’ve gotten. They’re not just colleagues anymore. Seriously, best friends.
The pair of them did have a great time though. She paid for dinner, he bought the movie tickets and the popcorn.
And Lisbon let herself relax.
Jane may have helped. He made her laugh at least.
She couldn’t help thinking about how much better it was to spend the odd evening going out with a friend rather than simply collapsing on her couch with yet another one of her endless supply of files.
And then there was the movie.
Teresa Lisbon loved Casablanca. It had always been one of her favourites.
She knew it wasn’t a very original choice, but it was true.
And Jane was right, seeing it on the big screen was pretty special; there was just something about it.
She felt herself sighing and sniffling at all her favourite parts despite the fact that she had the whole thing basically memorized.
Jane turned to her at the end, taking in the shining eyes and wistful grin. “I knew you loved this movie.”
“I told you,” she murmured gently. “Everybody loves this movie.”
“No,” Jane shook his head. “You really love this movie.”
She really does.
Lisbon ducked her head. “Yeah,” she admitted. “It’s not a happy ending exactly, but it’s the right ending you know?”
“Duty wins out over personal happiness,” Jane said. “I should have known.”
The movie is very Lisbon.
“Hey!”
“Not a criticism, Dear,” he assured her. “Just an observation.”
“Hmm.”
“You don’t think you can have both?” he asked.
Lisbon paused, considered the state of her love life, or even just her personal life. “I don’t know,” she said after a minute. “I’m happy. I like my job. I have the team. I... I am happy Jane. I know it’s not typical.”
She doesn’t want the typical husband and two kids in suburbia. She is happy with her life, mostly. I think she would like someone to share things with though. Conveniently for Lisbon, Jane is more than willing to fill that role. He just doesn’t quite know it yet. Just give him time though. (Okay, so he gets a little push... At least the namby-pamby lawyer’s good for something)
“It’s okay,” he soothed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I’m not upset,” she said with a shake of her head.
Jane stared at her a minute, trying to decide if he believed her. Apparently he did because he didn’t argue, “I had a good night tonight, Lisbon.”
“Yeah,” she agreed.
“See what happens when you get out of the office occasionally?” he teased.
“Shut up,” she said swatting him in the arm. “And drive me back to my car.”
“Yes ma’am,” he agreed, dropping the same arm she’d just assaulted casually around her shoulders.
xx
Not only were they gradually starting to spend more time together, but Jane was touching her more.
Not in an overt way obviously.
It was so subtle, Lisbon didn’t even notice it at first. And the touches were completely innocent. Jane started using her watch to check the time again, something he’d done before, but hadn’t in months.
This comes back. It starts with Jane touching her more. Then she touches him more in the last chapter. She can’t help herself. She wants to touch him. Like Jane, she likes the physical contact.
He held doors open for her and then put his hand on the small of her back to usher her through them.
When she got an arm caught in her jacket Jane was immediately by her side helping her straighten it.
He brushed her hair out of her face when both her hands were occupied trying to fix the stupid CBI coffee maker.
He sometimes swept a hand across her knee when they were seated opposite each other in the attic, a space he still claimed as his own.
Once he even pulled her into an impromptu dance when their case brought them to a banquet hall, reminding her of a similar dance years before.
It was all perfectly friendly of course. Lisbon was sure he didn’t mean anything by it.
But whenever it happened, whenever Jane’s hand strayed to her shoulder blade, whenever he smiled at her with eyes twinkling with a mirth and a touch of pain that was slowly seeping away, she got an unexpected reminder of just how handsome he was. When she had the Patrick Jane charm turned on her at full blast, Lisbon remembered how hard she’d had to work when she’d first met him not to let it sway her.
She’s definitely attracted to him. So I can see this sort of thing affecting her.
She’d always been a little attracted to him.
There, she admitted it (at least to herself).
Not that it mattered really; she was too busy being glad of their friendship to give the other more than a passing thought. Even if there was a latent attraction between them (perfectly understandable, given how closely they worked), Jane would never act on it either.
Still, even though it had the potential to make things awkward, Lisbon was pleased that Jane might be feeling any kind of physical attraction. It did tend to imply that he genuinely was healing.
xxxxx
Jane settled onto his couch, pleased with his life (not something he’d ever really expected to be again).
Red John was dead, and he was still with the CBI. Sill with his team. Or rather, her team. The team he was a part of.
He thought back to the shaky period, right after the serial killer’s death, when he’d deliberately provoked his boss. It was a good thing he’d had the good sense not to push too far, and that she’d had the good sense not to react.
Think of what he could have lost.
Teresa Lisbon.
He was sure Agent Lisbon would have always stayed professional, but Lisbon herself, that was a different story. He could have lost her.
The woman he most enjoyed spending his free evenings with (it had become a challenge trying to think up things to coax her out of her office).
The woman whose company he enjoyed more than anyone else’s.
Not to mention, as an added benefit, she was certainly easy on the eyes.
And had a wicked sense of humour.
It made him smile just thinking about it.
Maybe next time they went to the movies he should take her to a comedy.
His best friend.
Best friends...
Thank goodness he hadn’t done anything stupid half a year ago.
Then it dawned on him; Jane started to realize that the reason he’d been so disinclined to push Lisbon away hadn’t been because she was his friend.
He noticed one day, when they were out walking down the street one Saturday morning in Sacramento on their way to the farmer’s market, the one he’d spent weeks convincing her was the place she really should be buying her produce, that Lisbon was stunningly gorgeous.
Jane would take her around telling her things about the city she’s lived in for years, but has never noticed. She wouldn’t notice things like that, the little luxuries of life. I also like it suddenly occurring to him that he’s attracted to her, personally. Bit of a shock for poor Jane.
Also, her hair was particularly lovely that day.
And the curve of her collar bone when she tilted her neck just so.
Plus, he was fond of the purposeful way she walked. He could always pick her out of a crowd, even at a distance.
Best of all though was her smile. When she smirked up at him with her head tilted to the side and her eyes laughing at him sideways.
Although, when she met his eyes, her eyes twinkling right at him were pretty great too.
Really, the woman had such wonderfully expressive facial expressions.
So very attractive.
Lisbon was subtly gorgeous, attractive in a way that wasn’t always immediately obvious.
But he’d noticed. He’d definitely noticed.
The realization hit Jane like a load of bricks.
He didn’t just find her attractive, in a clinical, “Well, yes she’s gorgeous, how could I not have noticed,” kind of a way.
He was attracted to her.
He’d always been aware that she was beautiful of course. He had eyes and it was difficult to miss. But he’d always acknowledged it in a sort of an abstract kind of a way. Objectively Lisbon was lovely. It had never mattered to him one way or the other, not personally, not other than making his day a little better because she was so pleasant to look at.
He couldn’t focus on Lisbon being attracted. Because even if she was, he couldn’t be attracted to her. He needed to worry about Red John. So he didn’t acknowledge it.
Now it did matter, quite a bit.
And rather than terrifying him, Jane found that fact suddenly sweet against his tongue.
But now he can acknowledge it. There’s no serial killer in their way now.
He’d need to consider it some more of course, but that didn’t stop him from sending her a blinding smile when she glanced his way, enjoying her bemused look in return.
He wanted her.
Not only that, he was allowed to want her now.
It was thrilling.
xxxxx
Then that ludicrous lawyer had just appeared. Completely unwanted.
I made it my goal not to actually give Mr. Namby-Pamby a name. It was a fun challenge, given how often he comes up. It did mean that he always had to be described from Jane’s point of view, since theoretically Lisbon wouldn’t be insulting him. Apparently not even over the phone.
Jane scowled.
Mr. Perfect, J.D. thought he could just waltz in, just like that.
Apparently he’d taken Lisbon to dinner in a sports bar. A sports bar.
And yeah, okay, Lisbon liked sports. And she liked beer. And nachos and the like.
But, she got enough of that sort of thing, that type of casual, buddy-buddy, almost masculine, world on the job. Didn’t the fool know that Teresa Lisbon deserved something more? Something different? Something special?
Jane wants to make Lisbon feel special. So he buys her flowers and does the sweet little things for her.
Jane bet Mr. So-In-Synch-With-Lisbon-We-Probably-Cheer-for-the-Same-Damn-Sports-Teams didn’t have a romantic bone in his body. Probably thought pizza and wings was as good as it needed to get.
The guy who’s perfect for her on paper. But she doesn’t need another her. She needs someone who complements her. Now who on earth could that be? Heh.
Idiot probably hadn’t even seen Casablanca. He looked like the type to refuse to watch anything that wasn’t filmed in colour. Oh god. Maybe he had seen it. Maybe he’d seen the colourized version.
Poor Mr. Namby-Pamby, he’s annoying, but he’s not so bad as all that.
Lisbon couldn’t form a serious attachment to a man like that.
It just wasn’t right.
Clearly Jane needed to come up with a plan to fix this. And quickly.
xxxxx
TBC
Alright, that’s it for me for the night. Bed time.
I am an incurable romantic. And I love romantic tropes. I feel like handcuffs is one. This story really is one big romantic trope, but that is okay. I like letting them live happily ever after.
xxxxx
Chapter 2
xxxxx
Relationships were hard. They took work.
Especially between people who were private, and stubborn, and actually, just plain closed off.
It took time to get close to someone like that. You couldn’t just waltz in and plant yourself in the middle of their affections (though certain members of the legal profession seemed to want to try).
Heh. Tsk, tsk. Namby-pamby lawyer should no better...
There was finesse involved.
It was one step forward, two steps back.
Jane knew that. He’d always known that.
He’d just gotten confused about that for a while, forgotten what mattered.
Luckily he wasn’t a complete moron.
He isn’t. He just does stupid things sometimes.
xxxxx
Wednesday morning, several months earlier
xx
Jane was back.
He was really back.
He was actually on the other side of the room, lying on his couch in the bullpen like it was just another day at the CBI.
There you go Lisbon. You didn’t lose another person to Red John, at least not yet. That should please you.
Lisbon’s grip tightened on her morning cup of coffee as she walked softly into the almost-empty bullpen (not quite empty though, not quite, and that made all the difference). “Hi,” she said softly, biting her lip to keep her smile under control. After all, who knew what was going through his head. “How are you?”
Jane turned towards her, “I’m well. But there’s no need to look so surprised at my presence Lisbon,” he told her. “I did say that I’d see you today. Since you did manage to solve your case yesterday.”
“Hey!” she exclaimed. That case had been tricky.
“Although I admit, it is flattering that you’re so obviously pleased to see me,” Jane added, his eyes scanning her rapidly and repeatedly. He hadn’t seen her in almost a week and he wasn’t used to going so long without her. He was feeling the urge to remind himself of her little personal quirks.
He would point that out. He always does. Takes pleasure in lording the fact that she likes him over her. Also, I think he likes reminding himself that she does care. For all his, theories about needing to be cold and aloof and cruel, he likes that she cares about him. Because he cares right back.
“I...” Lisbon paused. She was pleased to see him, but she wasn’t sure how to tell him that.
I love how her first thought is that she can’t go right out and say it. Obviously.
“Yes, Lisbon?” Jane asked.
She decided to just bite the bullet. “It is good to see you,” she admitted softly. “Because of, you know... After...”
And then she does, because she has no idea what else to say.
“After what?” Jane asked in his most deliberately neutral tone.
Not that Jane makes it easy on her.
“You know what,” Lisbon replied in exasperation.
He acknowledged the point with a nod. “I do.”
Lisbon figured one of them would have to bring up what had happened eventually. In his current mood it was unlikely to be Jane. “Did you want to talk about it?”
“Do you?” he countered.
She rolled her eyes. “I asked you first.”
“And this isn’t elementary school Lisbon,” Jane replied patronizingly.
She sighed. “I just feel like maybe we should.”
“Was there anything in particular you wanted to discuss?” Jane wondered. He could think of any number of conversations that they could be having, none of them particularly appealing.
It’s a fair point. What do you say that hasn’t already been said? “I’m glad you’re not dead. I’m glad I stopped you from getting anyone else killed. I’m glad that you didn’t get to commit murder.” And then he says, what? “I’m irritated with you for preventing me from carrying out my goal. I feel like something’s missing from inside me. I’m not sure I’ll ever have closure now.” They both know that. It doesn’t need to be said.
“Well...” Lisbon hesitated.
“Exactly,” Jane told her.
“Okay,” she admitted shuffling slightly from side to side. “I don’t know quite where to start. But Red John’s dead.”
“Yes he is,” Jane agreed, the now-familiar mixture of anger and elation blossoming in his chest.
“And how do you feel about that?” Lisbon pressed.
“Ecstatic,” Jane said bluntly. It was true. The sheer fact of the serial killer’s death was enough to make him want to celebrate for a month.
“Jane...” Lisbon warned.
“What?” he asked her, irritated by her judgemental tone. “You’re pleased too.”
“Pleased is the wrong word,” she told him. She was glad the serial killer was dead, but it still seemed somehow wrong to say you were pleased that someone had been shot. Oh, she would always count it as a win, a big win, but it didn’t exactly give her pleasure. Satisfaction, pride, a general sense of having protected the public and made California a little safer. She was happy about all that, but it still seemed wrong to be so glad that a man had been shot through the forehead in a warehouse. Even if it was absolutely the right thing to do.
“Relieved then,” Jane corrected, watching her face closely. “You would be even more relieved the whole thing’s over, except that you’re still not sure about my mental state.”
He’s being a bit of a jerk here. He’s not good with dealing with her affection for him directly, even if he uses it for his own benefit all the time.
Lisbon felt herself getting exasperated. She always did when he made fun of her for worrying. “Oh for...”
“I told you not to worry Lisbon, though I acknowledge that I may as well tell the sun not to shine,” Jane told her, a hint of affection creeping into in his tone.
“It’s cloudy,” she said dryly.
He smirked briefly. “Sun’s still shining behind the clouds.”
She sighed. “Fine. You win. We’ll talk later. Or not at all. Just tell me if you’re...”
“I don’t know, Lisbon,” he told her honestly.
“Oh,” she said, trying to ignore the wave of disappointment washing over her. “Well, you’re always welcome on this team, so whatever you decide...”
I think she would assume he’d leave. He’s left before when he couldn’t get what he wanted re: Red John on her team. Why would she think he’d stay now?
Jane sat up abruptly. “What are you talking about?”
Except that now Jane’s panicking, because as I said, she’s his constant. And now he’s afraid she’s taking that away.
She stared at him, hope temporarily renewed. “Weren’t you...”
“I thought you were going to ask me if I was doing okay again,” Jane clarified. “Not if I was staying. Which I thought I would. For the time being at least. What else am I going to do with my time?”
Lisbon frowned. “That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement...”
He held her gaze and gave in slightly. “I’m not ready for any more change right now.” He admitted.
Not a ringing endorsement, but the truth. And good enough for her. It’s not like Jane was ever in it for justice anyway, so it wouldn’t affect his performance on the cases. He’s always been pretty detached.
She exhaled. Of course. That made sense. Jane was feeling a little lost. Well, she was more than willing to try and be there for him, if he’d let her. “Okay. If you need anything...”
“I still know where your office is,” Jane assured her.
“Okay,” Lisbon said one last time before turning to leave. “It’s good to have you back.”
He stopped her. “And Teresa?”
“Yeah?”
“You can let your smile free now,” he assured her. “I won’t be insulted.”
“Shut up,” she said immediately.
But she was grinning as she said it.
And her gait as she left was positively bouncing with pleasure.
Jane watched her go. It was good to see her. He was happy to see her.
He hadn’t been sure he would be.
The fact that he was, was a relief.
Smiling himself now, Jane settled deeper into the couch, his couch.
He is happy to see her. (Best friends.) But that doesn’t mean everything’s easy.
xxxxx
They may have begun things positively (well, sort of), but that didn’t mean things went perfectly smoothly between Agent and Consultant from that point on.
Their pleasure at seeing each other trumps his anger and resentment, at least at first.
After all, the two of them were both stubborn and strong-willed, and it turned out Jane wasn’t quite ready to forgive or to forget.
His irritation with Lisbon surfaced at unpredictable, and often unexpected, moments. Some days he was fine, things felt basically normal. Some days he found himself snapping at her, deliberately provoking her, arguing with her, frustrated by what he considered her stubborn and occasionally rigid insistence on procedure (which was still a bit of a sensitive subject). He picked fights with her. Sometimes Lisbon ignored him when he did it, shut down on him, didn’t respond. Other times she snapped, got angry and the two of them had it out.
I could see this happening too. Jane is such a child sometimes, he would react like this. He wouldn’t be able to help himself.
But even on the worst days she didn’t leave him, though in hindsight he figured she might have come close more than once. He wondered if he’d been unconsciously trying to make her, trying to see how far she was willing to go, or maybe just to give him a more genuine reason to be angry with her. He didn’t know. He just knew that he’d come close to losing control more than once and nearly tried to make her leave.
But Lisbon never got that angry. He never pushed that far.
And one day Jane finally realized that was a deliberate (though subconscious) decision on his part.
He’s very careful not to push her too far. Even if he’s not always aware of that fact.
Lisbon was the closest friend he had. He cared about her. And he knew she cared about him. What’s more, he valued their relationship. It was why he’d started trusting her with Red John in the first place, why he’d started confiding in her, why he’d stuck to her afterwards, why he didn’t actually want to get rid of her, even after what would maybe always feel just a little bit like a betrayal (though one he understood).
Annoyed and petulant as he was, Jane realized he wasn’t anywhere near willing to toss a relationship a decade in the making out the window. Especially since Lisbon had just done what came naturally to her (and what she’d always threatened to do).
Jane often does respect people for following their own principles, even if he disagrees. It’s an interesting trait.
And then one day, after he teased her about one of the security guards down at the court house who had a little bit of a crush and she smacked him in the arm with her file (just like she used to, before), Jane realized the most surprising thing of all: he wasn’t angry with her anymore.
He might even be enjoying his life.
xxxxx
Lisbon was pouring herself that all-important first coffee of the day in the break room, mentally preparing herself for her day.
The problem was that she wasn’t sure what she’d be mentally preparing herself for.
The last few weeks had been rocky, she wasn’t going to lie. But she consoled herself with the fact that they could have been worse.
She’d never thought it would be easy.
True, but I think she hoped for some kind of miracle.
And Jane (so far) hadn’t crossed any lines there was no going back from, though sometimes she wondered.
She hadn’t ever given up on him though. She didn’t know why sometimes. The man was infuriating when he wanted to be. And he often wanted to be, particularly recently for obvious reasons.
But...
Yes, there it was, but.
But a lot of things.
For one, Lisbon admitted that there may have been a (thankfully small) part of herself that felt like she deserved the way he was treating her. She’d handcuffed him to a car on the day he’d been working towards for the better part of a decade. Oh, it had been the right thing to do, but that didn’t make her feel 100% better about it; it just allowed her to sleep at night, and to hope.
She would feel guilty about it. Guilty that she couldn’t just stand by and let Jane shoot a man. My poor Lisbon.
Which was another thing, she wasn’t always sure Jane was actually angry at her.
He was angry and frustrated in her direction, but Lisbon also suspected in his own direction as well. She’d seen something behind his eyes more than once, when he was at his worst, something that looked suspiciously like panic. She wasn’t sure exactly what scared him, but she was unwilling to abandon him to face it alone.
This is the other thing. Jane is just freaking out, to a certain extent. Trying to figure out his world, and his place in it. She kind of shook everything up. He doesn’t deal well with change.
Because he was her consultant. Because he used to be her friend, and she’d like him to be again.
Lisbon remembered how things were before Red John; Jane talked to her. She was the only one he talked to, and she’d talked to him back. She remembered being able to confide in him about her frustrations, her insecurities, her job. In hindsight, the fact that she had talked to him was almost shocking (she hadn’t confided in anyone in years), but it hadn’t felt in the slightest bit strange at the time. Talking to Patrick Jane had become the most natural thing in the world to Teresa Lisbon. Just like it had become natural to wander up to his attic for a coffee break, or let him drag her out for quick meals when she was working a case, or for her to find fresh fruit stashed all over her office.
And she knew that she’d give him more time, as much as he needed, if only she could have that back again.
Best friends. (I may repeat that at random intervals throughout this commentary. Because it pleases me.)
The only thing that made Lisbon pause was that she wasn’t always sure that was ever going to be possible. Maybe she’d destroyed the possibility of a genuine friendship when she’d taken steps to keep him safe. Maybe that was the price she’d have to pay.
But then, some days Jane would come into her office with a smile and a bear claw and she’d remember to hope.
Lisbon sighed, and wandered back to her office. After all, it’d taken years for her to achieve any sort of familiarity with Jane (or maybe it was more accurate to say that it had taken years for him to achieve any sort of familiarity with her. She could admit now that at the beginning of their relationship her walls had been far higher). And it hadn’t even been two months since Red John’s death.
It did take years. There’s been a notable difference between S1 and S4 (for all that she is quite comfortable in his company sometimes in S1). I imagine progress was even slower during the first five years, while they were getting to S1.
Maybe she just needed some more patience, something the CBI agent acknowledged that she wasn’t the best at.
Lisbon ducked in the door of her office and abruptly stopped walking.
There were flowers on her desk. Not a huge showy arrangement that was about two feet tall with flowers spilling out in all directions, but something smaller. Just a simple vase of irises mixed in with a bit of baby’s breath and some sort of green, leafy thing.
I may have a thing about Jane giving Lisbon flowers. I always have. I don’t know why exactly, but I do.
There were flowers on her desk that hadn’t been there ten minutes ago.
Talking a few steps forward, Lisbon plucked the card poking out of side of the vase and turned it over.
“Thank you,” was all it said.
Lisbon felt her heart begin to race and she bit her lip. There was only one person who would buy her this, only one person who would wait until she left to sneak it into her office, only one person who’d even consider buying her flowers, and he... and he...
Poor Lisbon, getting all emotional, and not quite knowing how to deal with it. Jane’s probably better at dealing with his emotions than she is, and that’s saying something. Although, it’s kind of a tough call. Jane’s at least better in a few months time, when Red John isn’t quite so immediate.
And he’d just walked into her office behind her.
“Morning Lisbon,’ Jane said softly as he shut the door.
Lisbon sniffed. “Morning,” she managed to whisper in what sounded like a semi-normal sort of a voice.
Jane walked closer and Lisbon felt him brush a couple fingers across the back of her arm. She turned her head slightly to look up at him, her eyes half-hidden beneath rapidly blinking eyelids. “They’re from you?” she double-checked.
She has to be sure, because if they’re coincidentally from someone else, well...
“They’re from me,” Jane promised, his eyes latching on to the hope in hers like a lifeline. He realized then how much she wanted the flowers to be from him, how much that meant to her, maybe even how much he meant to her.
Jane watched her swallow thickly and hold up his card. “What for?” she asked.
He shrugged and stepped closer. “For everything,” he admitted.
She’s his good witch Glinda...
“Oh,” she exhaled.
“Lisbon,” he told her as he reached for her hand. “I...” he wasn’t sure exactly what to say and so settled for threading his fingers through hers.
She turned away suddenly and so Jane felt compelled to speak.
“I know I haven’t been the easiest person to live with this last little while,” he started to explain, feeling her fingers twitch against his as she shook her head. “And I know things haven’t been the best.”
“S’okay,” she said thickly.
She would say that. Because she’ll take the punishment. She always takes the punishment. She’ll shield the people she cares about from anything. That’s what she does.
He smiled affectionately. “I know you think it is, and maybe that’s true. I don’t know. But a funny thing happened to me this morning Lisbon. Do you know what that is?” he asked gently, trying to get a better look at her eyes.
She shook her head again, not quite sure how to deal with the emotions welling up and threatening to overwhelm her. She hadn’t been expecting this, not at all, and she felt unprepared, exposed. She’d hoped things were getting better between the two of them, but she’d never dared to dream that...
“I felt happy,” Jane told her, taking the leap.
Lisbon did look at him then, the hope shining through green tear-filled eyes nearly knocking him through a loop.
She’s happy he’s happy. That’s all she’s ever wanted for him. And he’s happy, and still around, which is even better.
Without thinking he pulled her against him. “It felt good Lisbon,” he whispered. “And I realized I was sick of sniping with you over things that were stupid. And I know that you haven’t been having the easiest few months either, and I... Hey, it’s okay,” he added when he saw her shoulders shake, and one stray tear overflow down her cheek.
Oh look! It’s another thing I’m obsessed with! J/L hugs...
She let herself lean against his shoulder. “I know,” she sniffled. “I just... I wasn’t expecting...”
“Neither was I, to be honest,” Jane told her candidly.
He wasn’t. It hit him the night before. But once Jane decides something, he’s hardly one to dawdle about it.
His sudden cheerfulness made her laugh, and she stood back up, quickly wiping her eyes. “Must be the first thing you haven’t seen coming,” she said dryly. “That you admit to at least.”
He smiled back.
Lisbon glanced back at her flowers. “They’re beautiful, Jane,” she told him. “Thank you.”
“Thank you,” he told her sincerely, gripping her shoulders and looking her straight on in the eyes.
“Are you sure?” she whispered.
Her doubts would have irritated him had they come from anyone else, but this was his Lisbon, sceptical, untrusting, wonderful. Besides, he’d expected them (he’d have been worried if they hadn’t come). “I am,” he assured her. “I’m not sure I’ll every completely agree with the way things ended up happening. I mean, I’m not sure it’ll ever be exactly what I wanted, but now I feel... I feel like I’ll be okay.”
In other words, I’m still going to be annoying as all get out. But I’m going to stay. I want to be friends.
“That’s great Jane,” Lisbon told him sincerely.
“Thank you, Teresa,” he told her one more time.
She took a breath and forced herself to meet his eyes, forced herself to acknowledge his sincerity (and the fact that this was actually happening). “You’re welcome,” she whispered.
Jane beamed at her.
xxxxx
After that things started to even out a little bit more.
There was certainly less sniping between Agent and Consultant.
Jane started enjoying his job again, finding the fun in poking and prodding the arrogant and the guilty. Lisbon even let herself relax a little, when it became clearer and clearer that he wasn’t one step away from plunging off the edge.
He’s taking baby steps back. He’s Jane, so he’ll always be a little bit dangerous, but now he’s less manic. Nothing to be manic about anymore, after all.
And they started finding their feet with their friendship for the second.
Except that it was a bit different this time around, without the spectre of the serial killer lurking in the background.
The closeness they’d had before crept back quickly along with the subtle affection, but that wasn’t all it was.
They started doing things together. Innocent things, but things nonetheless. And significantly, things outside of work.
More than they ever had before.
Not that either of them would acknowledge it. Not these two. They’re just spending time together. They’re friends. Clearly that’s all it is...
xx
“Lisbon!” Jane said cheerfully as he ambled into her office. “What are your plans this fine evening?”
She glanced up at him from her laptop. “I dunno,” she shrugged. “Finishing the reviews for the personnel department then going home and watching old sitcom reruns? Why?”
“Because you’re not doing any of that,” Jane told her gleefully.
I’ve made plans and you’re coming. Although, she probably should. Whatever he’s got planned is probably more fun.
Lisbon groaned. “Please tell me that you’re not dragging me out for some insane stakeout for a ten-year old cold case like you did last week!”
In my head this is what Jane does to occupy his time now. He likes a challenge after all.
Jane pouted. “Okay, first of all,” he said, “We caught the guy.”
“He was innocent!” Lisbon reminded her consultant.
“Well, yes,” Jane agreed. “But we were able to rule him out as a suspect. And I’m still confident I can find the real killer. I just need to think of a new plan. I’m missing something.”
“You sure are,” Lisbon said dryly.
Jane shot her a look before remembering why he’d originally come into her office. “Anyway,” he said. “That’s not the point. I promise I have nothing stake-out related in mind tonight.”
Lisbon stared at him. “Then please tell me you’re not going to suggest spying on Cho again.”
Heh. This I would love to see. The two of them following poor Cho around, for mocking purposes.
Jane grinned. “No, not after you nearly gave us away with your giggling last time.”
Lisbon smirked. “You were no better!” she said, remembering Jane’s running commentary of the proceedings in her left ear. “And besides, I couldn’t resist. I never thought I’d see Cho taking dancing lessons!”
Jane shook his head. “You underestimate him. And he does love Elise.”
Anyone want to take bets on whether the show ever mentions Elise again? Given their record on continuity, I’m guessing nope.
“Apparently,” Lisbon agreed. “Still, I’d rather not spend my evening crammed in a cloak room, or behind some large piece of furniture.”
“Ye of little faith,” Jane scolded. “Actually I had something a little simpler in mind.”
“And what’s that?” she asked.
Jane smiled. “The Empire’s airing Casablanca tonight.”
And he knows she likes that movie. She canonically likes old movies, and that’s one she’d particularly like.
Lisbon’s eyes widened. “I really should do some work,” she said softly.
“Nonsense,” Jane told her with a wave of his hand.
“I’ve seen Casablanca,” she explained, trying to justify her decision.
Jane rolled his eyes. “Lisbon, everybody’s seen Casablanca. That’s not the point. And have you seen it on the big screen?”
“No,” Lisbon admitted.
“Excellent,” Jane told her. “I’ll pick you up at eight-thirty. That way you can work through dinner, and then afterwards you can go to the movie without worrying about your unfinished paperwork.”
“Jane...”
“It’s only playing for a few days, Lisbon,” Jane told her. “And you may never get an opportunity. Please don’t make me go alone.”
Lisbon tapped her pencil against her desk. She really did want to go. And sometimes it felt like she always worked late. She glanced at her watch and bit her lip.
This is why he’s good for her. He brings balance to her life. They’re such a good partnership. Best friends.
“What?” Jane asked her curiously, though he suspected he knew why she was hesitating.
Lisbon looked up at him hopefully. “Isn’t there a falafel place right next to the Empire?” she asked.
Jane’s smile grew two sizes. “Yes,” he confirmed slyly. “Why?”
She drummed her fingers on her desk. “Well, it doesn’t really make sense for me to bother going home to have dinner, and then coming all the way back to go to the movie, especially if I’m just grabbing something while reading this crap...”
“No, it doesn’t,” Jane murmured in easy agreement.
“And I worked through dinner yesterday,” Lisbon added, really starting to talk herself into doing what she wanted.
Jane sighed. “I thought you were going home early yesterday?”
He’s annoyed with her. He’s trying to get her to take better care of herself, and she just won’t cooperate. Clearly the solution is to get even closer to her, so he can’t take care of her from up close. CLEARLY. (See: Reminiscing in the Rhododendrons...)
“I did!” Lisbon justified. “Then I remembered something in my briefcase that really should have gotten done and I was just heating up leftovers anyway and...”
Jane sighed. “Okay, that’s it, I’ll let you work for, another hour,” he told her. “And then I’m coming and dragging you out of here and we’re going and getting falafels. And you are going to sit down at an actual table and eat like a normal person. And your meal is going to actually be balanced because you are getting some sort of salad...”
“My meal last night was balanced,” Lisbon insisted. “Just because it was quick and convenient...”
“Fine, fresh than,” Jane corrected.
“And I want popcorn,” Lisbon murmured.
I like her demand.
“Well, they do sell that at the movie theatre, so I’m sure that won’t be a problem,” Jane assured her with an indulgent smile.
Lisbon nodded, ignoring him. “Oh wait!” she said suddenly. “This is the black and white Casablanca right? They’re not airing one of the stupid colourized versions are they?”
I’ve never actually seen the colourized versions, but I have seen the original several times, and I can’t see how the colourized version would be anything but terrible. The original was filmed in black and white. The choices the director made where in that medium. I don’t think they’d all work in colour. Not to mention, it’d just look weird.
Jane looked scandalized at the mere idea. “As if I would bring you to a colourized Casablanca,” he said scornfully.
As well Jane should be insulted. She should know, he knows her better than that.
Lisbon smirked. “Sorry.”
“You should be,” her consultant muttered.
“Okay,” she said. “If we’re going I’ve really got to finish at least this file, so go.”
“One hour,” Jane warned her as he ducked out.
She just waved a dismissive hand in his direction.
xx
But Lisbon was more or less ready to go in an hour. She even graciously allowed Jane to drive her to the restaurant. She was also really looking forward to the movie, though she wasn’t quite admitting to herself how much.
This whole section is basically to show how close they’ve gotten. They’re not just colleagues anymore. Seriously, best friends.
The pair of them did have a great time though. She paid for dinner, he bought the movie tickets and the popcorn.
And Lisbon let herself relax.
Jane may have helped. He made her laugh at least.
She couldn’t help thinking about how much better it was to spend the odd evening going out with a friend rather than simply collapsing on her couch with yet another one of her endless supply of files.
And then there was the movie.
Teresa Lisbon loved Casablanca. It had always been one of her favourites.
She knew it wasn’t a very original choice, but it was true.
And Jane was right, seeing it on the big screen was pretty special; there was just something about it.
She felt herself sighing and sniffling at all her favourite parts despite the fact that she had the whole thing basically memorized.
Jane turned to her at the end, taking in the shining eyes and wistful grin. “I knew you loved this movie.”
“I told you,” she murmured gently. “Everybody loves this movie.”
“No,” Jane shook his head. “You really love this movie.”
She really does.
Lisbon ducked her head. “Yeah,” she admitted. “It’s not a happy ending exactly, but it’s the right ending you know?”
“Duty wins out over personal happiness,” Jane said. “I should have known.”
The movie is very Lisbon.
“Hey!”
“Not a criticism, Dear,” he assured her. “Just an observation.”
“Hmm.”
“You don’t think you can have both?” he asked.
Lisbon paused, considered the state of her love life, or even just her personal life. “I don’t know,” she said after a minute. “I’m happy. I like my job. I have the team. I... I am happy Jane. I know it’s not typical.”
She doesn’t want the typical husband and two kids in suburbia. She is happy with her life, mostly. I think she would like someone to share things with though. Conveniently for Lisbon, Jane is more than willing to fill that role. He just doesn’t quite know it yet. Just give him time though. (Okay, so he gets a little push... At least the namby-pamby lawyer’s good for something)
“It’s okay,” he soothed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I’m not upset,” she said with a shake of her head.
Jane stared at her a minute, trying to decide if he believed her. Apparently he did because he didn’t argue, “I had a good night tonight, Lisbon.”
“Yeah,” she agreed.
“See what happens when you get out of the office occasionally?” he teased.
“Shut up,” she said swatting him in the arm. “And drive me back to my car.”
“Yes ma’am,” he agreed, dropping the same arm she’d just assaulted casually around her shoulders.
xx
Not only were they gradually starting to spend more time together, but Jane was touching her more.
Not in an overt way obviously.
It was so subtle, Lisbon didn’t even notice it at first. And the touches were completely innocent. Jane started using her watch to check the time again, something he’d done before, but hadn’t in months.
This comes back. It starts with Jane touching her more. Then she touches him more in the last chapter. She can’t help herself. She wants to touch him. Like Jane, she likes the physical contact.
He held doors open for her and then put his hand on the small of her back to usher her through them.
When she got an arm caught in her jacket Jane was immediately by her side helping her straighten it.
He brushed her hair out of her face when both her hands were occupied trying to fix the stupid CBI coffee maker.
He sometimes swept a hand across her knee when they were seated opposite each other in the attic, a space he still claimed as his own.
Once he even pulled her into an impromptu dance when their case brought them to a banquet hall, reminding her of a similar dance years before.
It was all perfectly friendly of course. Lisbon was sure he didn’t mean anything by it.
But whenever it happened, whenever Jane’s hand strayed to her shoulder blade, whenever he smiled at her with eyes twinkling with a mirth and a touch of pain that was slowly seeping away, she got an unexpected reminder of just how handsome he was. When she had the Patrick Jane charm turned on her at full blast, Lisbon remembered how hard she’d had to work when she’d first met him not to let it sway her.
She’s definitely attracted to him. So I can see this sort of thing affecting her.
She’d always been a little attracted to him.
There, she admitted it (at least to herself).
Not that it mattered really; she was too busy being glad of their friendship to give the other more than a passing thought. Even if there was a latent attraction between them (perfectly understandable, given how closely they worked), Jane would never act on it either.
Still, even though it had the potential to make things awkward, Lisbon was pleased that Jane might be feeling any kind of physical attraction. It did tend to imply that he genuinely was healing.
xxxxx
Jane settled onto his couch, pleased with his life (not something he’d ever really expected to be again).
Red John was dead, and he was still with the CBI. Sill with his team. Or rather, her team. The team he was a part of.
He thought back to the shaky period, right after the serial killer’s death, when he’d deliberately provoked his boss. It was a good thing he’d had the good sense not to push too far, and that she’d had the good sense not to react.
Think of what he could have lost.
Teresa Lisbon.
He was sure Agent Lisbon would have always stayed professional, but Lisbon herself, that was a different story. He could have lost her.
The woman he most enjoyed spending his free evenings with (it had become a challenge trying to think up things to coax her out of her office).
The woman whose company he enjoyed more than anyone else’s.
Not to mention, as an added benefit, she was certainly easy on the eyes.
And had a wicked sense of humour.
It made him smile just thinking about it.
Maybe next time they went to the movies he should take her to a comedy.
His best friend.
Best friends...
Thank goodness he hadn’t done anything stupid half a year ago.
Then it dawned on him; Jane started to realize that the reason he’d been so disinclined to push Lisbon away hadn’t been because she was his friend.
He noticed one day, when they were out walking down the street one Saturday morning in Sacramento on their way to the farmer’s market, the one he’d spent weeks convincing her was the place she really should be buying her produce, that Lisbon was stunningly gorgeous.
Jane would take her around telling her things about the city she’s lived in for years, but has never noticed. She wouldn’t notice things like that, the little luxuries of life. I also like it suddenly occurring to him that he’s attracted to her, personally. Bit of a shock for poor Jane.
Also, her hair was particularly lovely that day.
And the curve of her collar bone when she tilted her neck just so.
Plus, he was fond of the purposeful way she walked. He could always pick her out of a crowd, even at a distance.
Best of all though was her smile. When she smirked up at him with her head tilted to the side and her eyes laughing at him sideways.
Although, when she met his eyes, her eyes twinkling right at him were pretty great too.
Really, the woman had such wonderfully expressive facial expressions.
So very attractive.
Lisbon was subtly gorgeous, attractive in a way that wasn’t always immediately obvious.
But he’d noticed. He’d definitely noticed.
The realization hit Jane like a load of bricks.
He didn’t just find her attractive, in a clinical, “Well, yes she’s gorgeous, how could I not have noticed,” kind of a way.
He was attracted to her.
He’d always been aware that she was beautiful of course. He had eyes and it was difficult to miss. But he’d always acknowledged it in a sort of an abstract kind of a way. Objectively Lisbon was lovely. It had never mattered to him one way or the other, not personally, not other than making his day a little better because she was so pleasant to look at.
He couldn’t focus on Lisbon being attracted. Because even if she was, he couldn’t be attracted to her. He needed to worry about Red John. So he didn’t acknowledge it.
Now it did matter, quite a bit.
And rather than terrifying him, Jane found that fact suddenly sweet against his tongue.
But now he can acknowledge it. There’s no serial killer in their way now.
He’d need to consider it some more of course, but that didn’t stop him from sending her a blinding smile when she glanced his way, enjoying her bemused look in return.
He wanted her.
Not only that, he was allowed to want her now.
It was thrilling.
xxxxx
Then that ludicrous lawyer had just appeared. Completely unwanted.
I made it my goal not to actually give Mr. Namby-Pamby a name. It was a fun challenge, given how often he comes up. It did mean that he always had to be described from Jane’s point of view, since theoretically Lisbon wouldn’t be insulting him. Apparently not even over the phone.
Jane scowled.
Mr. Perfect, J.D. thought he could just waltz in, just like that.
Apparently he’d taken Lisbon to dinner in a sports bar. A sports bar.
And yeah, okay, Lisbon liked sports. And she liked beer. And nachos and the like.
But, she got enough of that sort of thing, that type of casual, buddy-buddy, almost masculine, world on the job. Didn’t the fool know that Teresa Lisbon deserved something more? Something different? Something special?
Jane wants to make Lisbon feel special. So he buys her flowers and does the sweet little things for her.
Jane bet Mr. So-In-Synch-With-Lisbon-We-Probably-Cheer-for-the-Same-Damn-Sports-Teams didn’t have a romantic bone in his body. Probably thought pizza and wings was as good as it needed to get.
The guy who’s perfect for her on paper. But she doesn’t need another her. She needs someone who complements her. Now who on earth could that be? Heh.
Idiot probably hadn’t even seen Casablanca. He looked like the type to refuse to watch anything that wasn’t filmed in colour. Oh god. Maybe he had seen it. Maybe he’d seen the colourized version.
Poor Mr. Namby-Pamby, he’s annoying, but he’s not so bad as all that.
Lisbon couldn’t form a serious attachment to a man like that.
It just wasn’t right.
Clearly Jane needed to come up with a plan to fix this. And quickly.
xxxxx
TBC
Alright, that’s it for me for the night. Bed time.