cut my life into pieces
my life is hectic right now! everything like always a big mess. i feel patrayed and alone by almost everyone ive been dealing with every problem that comes my way for a long time by myself now youd think that id be used to it but still itd be great just to have someone to lean on and that would tell me that everything was okay. my mom got outta the hospital after being in there for like ever so i guess im happy about that. they took her apendix out they said she was so sick it almost killed her when my mother came home she showed me her scar and it looked so weird and so painful it made me sad she has staples about 9 across her incision but maybe she'll feel a little bit better now that they found one of the many things wrong with her... they brought you know who back to school again and they didnt tell me and mom about it trying to be sneeky but we'll see what kind of sneeky stuff my moms got up her sleeve my dads back from outta town and i hate it when he returns when hes gone i enjoy life well kind of enjoy life its a shitload better then life is when hes here he always puts me down and tells me that im impossible to talk to and that im a whore and when ever i try to do something nice for him hes like good thing you did that because i was about to make you wtf but what can i say if i dont expect him to be nice then i wont have to worry about it when he isnt i miss vickie alot alot but i dont think our friendship was a genuine one i see a friend as someone who is there for you whenever you need them no matter what and vickie was sure as hell not there and not only was she not there but when i talked to her about she made an excuse it doesnt matter why she wasnt there it just matters she wasnt there and i dont know if im just some crazy person with the idea that someone someday will treat me the way that i treat them or that one day ill have a friend who will be a actual friend or a boyfriend that wont be an asshole or that my parents both parents will give me the trust that i deserve i dont know maybe oneday ill open my eyes and vuew this harsh world the way it really is full of people wit hollow hearts and closed eyes people who will never view me as a person and only some girl who needs help and is always angry at the world i wish i could be a little kid again where my only worry would be why i couldnt get the piece of candy i wanted so bad instead of my only worry being i wish i could find somebody to talk to just somebody anybody who wont do cruddy shit and hurt me like eer other week