my brother the thief:
Okay, know it's been awhile since I did a post about the lunatics to whom I am related, but this could not be held back. So! This weekend Burro was in town, and at one point we were hanging out and he noticed that I was knitting something.
Burro: Hey, whatcha making?
Me: A laptop case.
Burro: Why do you need a laptop case?
Me: Because mine's been missing for like six months and I figured it was time to bite the bullet, but I didn't want to buy another one, because they're expensive.
Burro: Huh. I can't imagine needing another laptop case; I have two.
Me: You...have two.
Burro: Yeah, the second one just sort of showed up one...oh.
Me: YOU ASSHOLE, YOU STOLE MY LAPTOP CASE.
He admitted that that is probably what happened, and agreed to bring it when he comes back into town THIS weekend for Mother's Day. Today, he sends me a photo of both laptop cases sitting on his coffee table, and we have the following conversation via text:
Burro: Haha I have 2 computer cases! I'm holding the one for ransom so if you're gonna want it back I expect something for it
Me: BITE ME
Burro: Guess someone's not gonna get a computer case back with that snarky of language
Me: You a thief, yo, I don't have to listen to you
Burro: I prefer the term expert borrower yo
Me: Well, I don't negotiate with expert borrowers, I'm just saying
Burro: Well then...NO COMPUTER CASE FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: I am laughing so hard I am choking rn, just fyi
Burro: That's unfortunate for you but if you think that's gonna elict me to give you back the computer case because I feel sorry for ya then you're sadly mistaken...don't hate me cuz you ain't me
ON THE ONE HAND, BEST EVER. ON THE OTHER HAND I WANT MY LAPTOP CASE BACK D:
Burro: Hey, whatcha making?
Me: A laptop case.
Burro: Why do you need a laptop case?
Me: Because mine's been missing for like six months and I figured it was time to bite the bullet, but I didn't want to buy another one, because they're expensive.
Burro: Huh. I can't imagine needing another laptop case; I have two.
Me: You...have two.
Burro: Yeah, the second one just sort of showed up one...oh.
Me: YOU ASSHOLE, YOU STOLE MY LAPTOP CASE.
He admitted that that is probably what happened, and agreed to bring it when he comes back into town THIS weekend for Mother's Day. Today, he sends me a photo of both laptop cases sitting on his coffee table, and we have the following conversation via text:
Burro: Haha I have 2 computer cases! I'm holding the one for ransom so if you're gonna want it back I expect something for it
Me: BITE ME
Burro: Guess someone's not gonna get a computer case back with that snarky of language
Me: You a thief, yo, I don't have to listen to you
Burro: I prefer the term expert borrower yo
Me: Well, I don't negotiate with expert borrowers, I'm just saying
Burro: Well then...NO COMPUTER CASE FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: I am laughing so hard I am choking rn, just fyi
Burro: That's unfortunate for you but if you think that's gonna elict me to give you back the computer case because I feel sorry for ya then you're sadly mistaken...don't hate me cuz you ain't me
ON THE ONE HAND, BEST EVER. ON THE OTHER HAND I WANT MY LAPTOP CASE BACK D: