my heart was always searching for a place to hide
sometimes I find that drinking makes people happy
sometimes you can still see all these horrble emotions behind the alcohol
the sadness that they are drinking away
and that makes me sad.
I hate seeing people who are old& lonely.
I hate people being extra "jolly", to make up for the everyone else.
I hate seeing someone trying to figure it out,
not understanding,
but understanding enough to know that it's not quite right.
I have so many thoughts right this second
but they are too jumbled up to put into an order
or sort out enough to
write them down or
think about them properly.
Do you really think about thoughts?
does that work?
Since my brother went to uni I have been sleeping in his room a lot.
It's weird because
we don't get on,
but I still find it comforting.
Do you ever wonder
if dreams still exist
after you've forgotten them.
I can never remember my dreams when I wake up,
but I like to think that they might still be out there somewhere,
floating around in the sky or something.
Imagine how pretty it would be
if you could see everyones dreams
making the sky pink&blu&green&yellow.
All swirly and smokey and magical.
I would like that.
at dinner today,
my uncle got out a magnifying glass to read the menu.
And then he started having a kungfu fight in the street with my brother,
they both nearly fell over.
Do you ever find that
you don't feel like you can still feel something
after the day?
Like,
everyone will understand then
but the tommorrow,
it will just seem, sort of
random.
Or, it doesn't quite fit anymore.
I don't really know how to explain.
I want to be able to tell those things,
any day of the year.
I really wish I knew how to take photos.
Not the sort of photos which would fit into an album,
or a memory box,
not the snapshot photos.
The photograph photos.
The kind that would fit into a port folio,
or blown up on the wall of a nouveau cuisine restaurant.
Like, a vogue photo shoot.
Or a streets of london exhibition.
You know what I mean.
Yesterday I saw a rat running under the cars.
Holly's here ( :
xxxx
sometimes you can still see all these horrble emotions behind the alcohol
the sadness that they are drinking away
and that makes me sad.
I hate seeing people who are old& lonely.
I hate people being extra "jolly", to make up for the everyone else.
I hate seeing someone trying to figure it out,
not understanding,
but understanding enough to know that it's not quite right.
I have so many thoughts right this second
but they are too jumbled up to put into an order
or sort out enough to
write them down or
think about them properly.
Do you really think about thoughts?
does that work?
Since my brother went to uni I have been sleeping in his room a lot.
It's weird because
we don't get on,
but I still find it comforting.
Do you ever wonder
if dreams still exist
after you've forgotten them.
I can never remember my dreams when I wake up,
but I like to think that they might still be out there somewhere,
floating around in the sky or something.
Imagine how pretty it would be
if you could see everyones dreams
making the sky pink&blu&green&yellow.
All swirly and smokey and magical.
I would like that.
at dinner today,
my uncle got out a magnifying glass to read the menu.
And then he started having a kungfu fight in the street with my brother,
they both nearly fell over.
Do you ever find that
you don't feel like you can still feel something
after the day?
Like,
everyone will understand then
but the tommorrow,
it will just seem, sort of
random.
Or, it doesn't quite fit anymore.
I don't really know how to explain.
I want to be able to tell those things,
any day of the year.
I really wish I knew how to take photos.
Not the sort of photos which would fit into an album,
or a memory box,
not the snapshot photos.
The photograph photos.
The kind that would fit into a port folio,
or blown up on the wall of a nouveau cuisine restaurant.
Like, a vogue photo shoot.
Or a streets of london exhibition.
You know what I mean.
Yesterday I saw a rat running under the cars.
Holly's here ( :
xxxx