(no subject)
I've tried 3 times now to post about how I'm feeling these days. But that's just gonna turn into a sad and pitiful rant. So I will say these things:
1. For some reason I don't quite get, the clinic I'm doing my egg donation with made me go on a new birth control. I cringed when I saw the name...it's the generic form of Desogen (the birth control blamed for some of the bitchiest years of Amanda). I hoped that it had been overly blamed but holy fuck. I'm like a freaking crazy person. I've been crying uncontrollably, lashing out fiercely, screaming over little misunderstanding...and just being pretty fucking psycho.
2. For reasons both related and unrelated to above mentioned craziness I'm thinking of going ahead and changing my whole life path. I don't even know how I'd do that. I'm just having trouble knowing what's really gonna make me happy . I've always wanted to be a stage manager, I'm really good at it - but lately I wonder if those are the only reasons I'm still in it. What I really want to do is talk to people about sex and women's health...but with the exception of Sue from Talk Sex...how the fuck am I gonna make a career out of that?
3. I am sooo in love and have the most awesome boyfriend ever. Despite his own shit he's dealing with these days he's been incredibly supportive and super sweet and has taken more than his fair share of Amber style meanness and insanity. He redefines "awesome" as well as "kick ass."
1. For some reason I don't quite get, the clinic I'm doing my egg donation with made me go on a new birth control. I cringed when I saw the name...it's the generic form of Desogen (the birth control blamed for some of the bitchiest years of Amanda). I hoped that it had been overly blamed but holy fuck. I'm like a freaking crazy person. I've been crying uncontrollably, lashing out fiercely, screaming over little misunderstanding...and just being pretty fucking psycho.
2. For reasons both related and unrelated to above mentioned craziness I'm thinking of going ahead and changing my whole life path. I don't even know how I'd do that. I'm just having trouble knowing what's really gonna make me happy . I've always wanted to be a stage manager, I'm really good at it - but lately I wonder if those are the only reasons I'm still in it. What I really want to do is talk to people about sex and women's health...but with the exception of Sue from Talk Sex...how the fuck am I gonna make a career out of that?
3. I am sooo in love and have the most awesome boyfriend ever. Despite his own shit he's dealing with these days he's been incredibly supportive and super sweet and has taken more than his fair share of Amber style meanness and insanity. He redefines "awesome" as well as "kick ass."