Long overdue update...
Well crap...where do I even start...
So, I still have an amazing friendship with him. Our times spent together come and go, but I have gotten over him...it took a while, and I will always care so much for him, but I am done pining for him. And I never did tell him how I felt. I think that was the right decision, for now.
We took a whole series of salsa lessons, which cost a fortune. We decided that we were going to "wow" everyone with our latin expertise and Cuban Motion at Megan's wedding, but by the time that rolled around, we had pretty much forgotten everything we had learned. Money well spent, huh? Whatever...we're supposed to go see "Shaun of the Dead" tonight, so I'm looking forward to that.
In other news, Raul and I have decided to go ahead and get a divorce. Things got pretty ugly there for a bit, and it's not really worth going into all of the gruesome details here, but suffice to say I almost ended up on the front page of the newspaper a couple of times (and I'm sure the same goes for him). I'm still not quite sure how we are going to work out a lot of the details just yet. I have already opened up a separate bank account, and we are going to turn the den into my bedroom for now...but other than that, I suppose we will cross all of those bridges as we come to them. Until then, I will keep my fingers crossed that we are able to discuss those things in a mature and adult matter.
And last but certainly not least, I have met someone. And I met him online. I went to dinner with my friend David the other night, and he commented on the fact that whenever someone meets someone else online, there are always embarrassed excuses as to how it happened: "I was really bored and I happened to go into this random chat room, and lo and behold....", etc. He is so right, so I'll spare you my excuses and just leave it that. We started talking about 3 months ago, and we had an incredible bond pretty much right from the start. There have only been a couple of days since that initial meeting that we haven't spoken with eachother, despite his photography business and my doing back-to-back benefit shows as well as working a full-time job. We always seem to find a way to sign on, even if only for a couple of minutes, to say hello and see how the other is doing.
Anyway, he's amazing. He's witty, talented, passionate, sensitive, romantic and sexy as hell. I feel like I've known him my whole life, and I'm not quite sure what I ever did without him. I was just telling him this morning that I must have done something incredibly good for someone in order to get the privelege of having him in my life.
I think about him all the time...what he's doing, what he would think of a particular song I'm listening to, or movie that I'm watching. I wonder what he looks like when he's working. I wonder what he's thinking when I shoot my mouth off about my feelings and he doesn't know quite how to respond. I wonder what it would feel like to hold his hand while walking down the street. My heart skips a beat when I think about being wrapped up in his arms, or kissing him. I smile when an instant mesage from him pops up on my screen. I want to lie next to him, stroking his hair and tickling his back.
Well....here's the catch: He lives in Australia. Which is...you know....8000 MILES AWAY FROM ME. The one and only thing I look forward to these days is my trip to visit him next year...sometime in May, more than likely. I know, I know...I'm crazy for travelling halfway around the world to meet someone from a chat room. So be it. Commit me, I don't care. I know how it sounds, and I would feel the same way as anyone else does if a friend told me of their plans to do something like this. And I'm not going to try to explain it or convince anyone else of why it's okay that I go. I just am, and it just is. I have only one regret in my past- it haunts me every day, and I'm not about to create another one by not going to Australia to meet him... Do I love him? I have always pretty much maintained that you can't really be in love with someone you have never met, so I will stick with that for now. All I know is that the feelings I have for him are incredibly strong...where they are coming from or where they should be placed remains to be seen, I suppose.
And if I should visit Australia and fall in love? I'm screwed. I know this. I can't move to Australia because of my responsibilities here- namely my two boys. But I'm going anyway. I feel very strongly about this, and it would take something pretty major to stop it from happening.
Ummm...I guess that's it for now. Oh, and his name is Scott. That admission will make things easier in future entries, should I ever get around to them. :)
So, I still have an amazing friendship with him. Our times spent together come and go, but I have gotten over him...it took a while, and I will always care so much for him, but I am done pining for him. And I never did tell him how I felt. I think that was the right decision, for now.
We took a whole series of salsa lessons, which cost a fortune. We decided that we were going to "wow" everyone with our latin expertise and Cuban Motion at Megan's wedding, but by the time that rolled around, we had pretty much forgotten everything we had learned. Money well spent, huh? Whatever...we're supposed to go see "Shaun of the Dead" tonight, so I'm looking forward to that.
In other news, Raul and I have decided to go ahead and get a divorce. Things got pretty ugly there for a bit, and it's not really worth going into all of the gruesome details here, but suffice to say I almost ended up on the front page of the newspaper a couple of times (and I'm sure the same goes for him). I'm still not quite sure how we are going to work out a lot of the details just yet. I have already opened up a separate bank account, and we are going to turn the den into my bedroom for now...but other than that, I suppose we will cross all of those bridges as we come to them. Until then, I will keep my fingers crossed that we are able to discuss those things in a mature and adult matter.
And last but certainly not least, I have met someone. And I met him online. I went to dinner with my friend David the other night, and he commented on the fact that whenever someone meets someone else online, there are always embarrassed excuses as to how it happened: "I was really bored and I happened to go into this random chat room, and lo and behold....", etc. He is so right, so I'll spare you my excuses and just leave it that. We started talking about 3 months ago, and we had an incredible bond pretty much right from the start. There have only been a couple of days since that initial meeting that we haven't spoken with eachother, despite his photography business and my doing back-to-back benefit shows as well as working a full-time job. We always seem to find a way to sign on, even if only for a couple of minutes, to say hello and see how the other is doing.
Anyway, he's amazing. He's witty, talented, passionate, sensitive, romantic and sexy as hell. I feel like I've known him my whole life, and I'm not quite sure what I ever did without him. I was just telling him this morning that I must have done something incredibly good for someone in order to get the privelege of having him in my life.
I think about him all the time...what he's doing, what he would think of a particular song I'm listening to, or movie that I'm watching. I wonder what he looks like when he's working. I wonder what he's thinking when I shoot my mouth off about my feelings and he doesn't know quite how to respond. I wonder what it would feel like to hold his hand while walking down the street. My heart skips a beat when I think about being wrapped up in his arms, or kissing him. I smile when an instant mesage from him pops up on my screen. I want to lie next to him, stroking his hair and tickling his back.
Well....here's the catch: He lives in Australia. Which is...you know....8000 MILES AWAY FROM ME. The one and only thing I look forward to these days is my trip to visit him next year...sometime in May, more than likely. I know, I know...I'm crazy for travelling halfway around the world to meet someone from a chat room. So be it. Commit me, I don't care. I know how it sounds, and I would feel the same way as anyone else does if a friend told me of their plans to do something like this. And I'm not going to try to explain it or convince anyone else of why it's okay that I go. I just am, and it just is. I have only one regret in my past- it haunts me every day, and I'm not about to create another one by not going to Australia to meet him... Do I love him? I have always pretty much maintained that you can't really be in love with someone you have never met, so I will stick with that for now. All I know is that the feelings I have for him are incredibly strong...where they are coming from or where they should be placed remains to be seen, I suppose.
And if I should visit Australia and fall in love? I'm screwed. I know this. I can't move to Australia because of my responsibilities here- namely my two boys. But I'm going anyway. I feel very strongly about this, and it would take something pretty major to stop it from happening.
Ummm...I guess that's it for now. Oh, and his name is Scott. That admission will make things easier in future entries, should I ever get around to them. :)