zenfu
in
gyonggo_ss
For kohoho
Title: It's all about us
Pairing: Kyujong/Jungmin
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Notes: For kohoho! I hope you enjoyed this fic and that it's somewhat like what you expected :) Parts in italics denote past events
Summary: Kyujong doesn't know how, but his relationship with Jungmin has changed. Remembering their past, he tries to figure out of his feelings
Kyujong isn't sure of which point in time he started to ignore Jungmin. It could have been before SS501 went their own ways, or it could have been after, but he has noticed that whenever they meet and Jungmin reaches for his hand, he is quick to pull away. Jungmin always gives him a look that speaks of pain and suffering, and with each and every one the hole in Kyujong's heart gets bigger.
It's not that he doesn't love Jungmin, for he does. He loves Jungmin more than he loves himself even, but he feels that it is not enough. He feels that there are others who could love Jungmin even more, and someone else who is much more deserving of the bundle of joy that Jungmin seems to be pretty much constantly. Or, well, had seemed, before. Not anymore, at least not when Kyujong sees him.
He has been thinking more and more of their past together in the last days, from their first meeting and all the way up to now. He has been hoping it might tell him as to why he doesn't feel the way he used to about Jungmin, and that maybe it might tell him what to do.
“Kim Kyujong?” Kyujong raises his head and looks at the other boy standing by the door, looking nervous. He's pale and can't keep his hands still, and Kyujong feels the urge to take pity on him.
“Yes?”
“I'm Park Jungmin. I was told to meet you here.” Jungmin smiles hesitantly, looking afraid and lost and excited all at once. How he does it, Kyujong doesn't know, but he wordlessly stands and reaches out his hand. Jungmin's eyes flicker between Kyujong's face to his hand and back, and then walks over and takes it.
They don't really greet each other, just shake hands and awkwardly smile before the door opens and a bunch of other boys and girls enter, chatting or being silent. Kyujong looks at them all but doesn't really see them, they're all nameless and faceless. Except Jungmin.
Kyujong wonders what hit him.
That had been their first meeting, and Kyujong remembers it as if it was only yesterday. He misses the carefree attitude of times long past, of being able to laugh without a care in the world. Jungmin always made him laugh, no matter if it was because he was arguing with Hyungjoon again or boiling an egg. He always found the happiness in small things, and that... that made Kyujong happy as well.
It had, before, anyway.
“Yah, Kyujong!” Kyujong turns and grins at Jungmin, who is still trying to catch up. He's bending over, hands on his knees, trying to regain his breath, and Kyujong can't help but tease.
“Slowpoke.”
Jungmin glares at him - or at least tries to - but it quickly changes into a half-panted laugh and he drops down onto his back in the grass. “I'm never going running with you again.” he complains.
Kyujong lightly nudges Jungmin's shoulder with his foot. “Of course not.” he says, in a tone that should clearly tell Jungmin that yes, yes he will.
And of course Jungmin does.
Kyujong stares down at the glass of wine in his hand. He's not entirely sure how it got there, but he supposes he needs it if he has unconsciously poured it for himself. He sips it, but it feels a little like ash on his tongue, and he's unable to stand still, moving constantly through the apartment. He looks out the window one moment, then sits on the floor the next, his body as uneasy as his mind. He feels lonely, but that is no one's fault but his own.
Angrily, he punches the floor beneath him, then regrets it a moment later as he curses everything while shaking his hurting hand. “Jesus,” he grumbles, muttering another curse before closing his eyes. He really needs to get himself together.
A drunk Jungmin is an annoying Jungmin, Kyujong has realized as he hauls his friend up the stairs. And he is also heavy and Kyujong would let go if he wasn't such a good buddy and there wasn't a risk of Jungmin actually staying at that very spot until the morning.
Hyunjong is going to kill them - or at least maim them - and bury their bodies beneath the shed behind the apartment building. Though Kyujong is going to blame this on Jungmin, for he himself isn't drunk in the slightest and Jungmin was the one to run away. For two hours in total, that is and... and what is Jungmin doing?
“Hey, hey!” he protests, for Jungmin is groping his chest. Kyujong flushes and pushes Jungmin a little away, holding him by the shoulders. “What are you doing?”
“Just wanted to see if it felt as nice as it looks..” Jungmin mumbles, smiling like a fool, and Kyujong doesn't know what to say to that.
So he behaves like a fool himself. “Thank you.”
The grin he gets in return is a little worth it, but then Jungmin kind of passes out and Kyujong almost collapses under the sudden weight dropping down on him. It's only when Jungmin is safely tucked in his bed that he opens his eyes again and meets Kyujong's. Kyujong stares down at him and Jungmin smiles serenly.
“Give me a goodnight kiss.” he says innocently, and Kyujong snorts.
“Are you serious?”
Jungmin nods and Kyujong rolls his eyes, but leans down to press a very quick kiss to Jungmin's forehead. Jungmin tilts his head up so that their lips meet instead, and Kyujong startles, pulling back quickly.
“Sorry.” Jungmin murmurs, closing his eyes and falling asleep, and Kyujong half-stumbles out of the room.
Kyujong smiles fondly as he remembers the awkward days following, mostly on his side because Jungmin couldn't remember anything until Kyujong told him. Hesitant conversations had followed that, until Kyujong kissed him again and they somehow ended up in a on-and-off relationship. It was comfortable that way, and Kyujong can only chuckle. Jungmin had been so sweet that time, so innocent - well, pretended to be, at least - and he has always found that attractive.
He still does.
“We're alone.” Jungmin whispers.
Kyujong nods. “That we are... so why are you whispering?”
Jungmin grins at him. “No particular reason,” he replies and shrugs, still grinning as he looks down at the game of chess between them. How they ended up playing chess neither of them know, but it's a way to waste time. They don't really know any of the rules either so they just make up a few as they go along. Kyujong is fairly certain Jungmin's pawn isn't supposed to move six routes ahead, for example, but it does anyway and Kyujong is too lazy to object.
“Uh huh.” he says, not convinced at all, and pushes his queen to the side and moves his knight ahead of it.
“You can't do that.” Jungmin tells him, and Kyujong raises an eyebrow.
“That's not what you said when you did the same thing earlier.” he protests, and Jungmin chuckles.
“Newly invented rule.” He moves his king over and pushes the knight out of the way, stealing his queen. Kyujong tosses a pawn at him. It bounces off of Jungmin's head and he rubs the spot.
“We're still alone.”
Kyujong sighs. “Come to the point, Jungmin.”
Jungmin pushes the table carefully out of the way and holds out his hand. When Kyujong takes it, he's pulled over and halfway falls into Jungmin's lap, face somewhat squished against Jungmin's stomach.
“Here's my point,” Jungmin tells him and draws him up into a kiss. Kyujong falls into it easily enough, placing his hands on each side of Jungmin's head and lightly rubbing a cheek with his thumb. Jungmin's lips are just so incredibly soft.
He's a little startled however, for while Jungmin's hands always tend to wander, one is now firmly stroking Kyujong's backside and the other creeping up beneath his shirt.
Kyujong shivers. “Your hand is cold,” he mutters against Jungmin's lips and Jungmin laughs into the kisses they are exchanging.
“It'll be warm enough soon.” he replies and pulls back, lightly nudging Kyujong to stand. “Your room,” he says, and Kyujong frowns.
“Why mine?” he asks, moving towards it already, and Jungmin catches up and slips his hand into Kyujong's.
“Because I like it. It reminds me of you when you're not here.
Kyujong laughs and shuts the door behind them.
The memory almost makes Kyujong a little sad. It had felt so natural back then, and he wishes it could be as easy now to follow each and every one of Jungmin's whims. He bites his lip and then closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. With a jolt a feeling of deep abandonment has settled within him, and he craves suddenly to hear Jungmin's voice, to have him near. He misses him. Picking up his phone, he dials a number that he knows all too well.
“Jungmin,” he starts somewhat uncertainly when the other end is picked up. “Do you have some time? I would like to talk.”
Pairing: Kyujong/Jungmin
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Notes: For kohoho! I hope you enjoyed this fic and that it's somewhat like what you expected :) Parts in italics denote past events
Summary: Kyujong doesn't know how, but his relationship with Jungmin has changed. Remembering their past, he tries to figure out of his feelings
Kyujong isn't sure of which point in time he started to ignore Jungmin. It could have been before SS501 went their own ways, or it could have been after, but he has noticed that whenever they meet and Jungmin reaches for his hand, he is quick to pull away. Jungmin always gives him a look that speaks of pain and suffering, and with each and every one the hole in Kyujong's heart gets bigger.
It's not that he doesn't love Jungmin, for he does. He loves Jungmin more than he loves himself even, but he feels that it is not enough. He feels that there are others who could love Jungmin even more, and someone else who is much more deserving of the bundle of joy that Jungmin seems to be pretty much constantly. Or, well, had seemed, before. Not anymore, at least not when Kyujong sees him.
He has been thinking more and more of their past together in the last days, from their first meeting and all the way up to now. He has been hoping it might tell him as to why he doesn't feel the way he used to about Jungmin, and that maybe it might tell him what to do.
“Kim Kyujong?” Kyujong raises his head and looks at the other boy standing by the door, looking nervous. He's pale and can't keep his hands still, and Kyujong feels the urge to take pity on him.
“Yes?”
“I'm Park Jungmin. I was told to meet you here.” Jungmin smiles hesitantly, looking afraid and lost and excited all at once. How he does it, Kyujong doesn't know, but he wordlessly stands and reaches out his hand. Jungmin's eyes flicker between Kyujong's face to his hand and back, and then walks over and takes it.
They don't really greet each other, just shake hands and awkwardly smile before the door opens and a bunch of other boys and girls enter, chatting or being silent. Kyujong looks at them all but doesn't really see them, they're all nameless and faceless. Except Jungmin.
Kyujong wonders what hit him.
That had been their first meeting, and Kyujong remembers it as if it was only yesterday. He misses the carefree attitude of times long past, of being able to laugh without a care in the world. Jungmin always made him laugh, no matter if it was because he was arguing with Hyungjoon again or boiling an egg. He always found the happiness in small things, and that... that made Kyujong happy as well.
It had, before, anyway.
“Yah, Kyujong!” Kyujong turns and grins at Jungmin, who is still trying to catch up. He's bending over, hands on his knees, trying to regain his breath, and Kyujong can't help but tease.
“Slowpoke.”
Jungmin glares at him - or at least tries to - but it quickly changes into a half-panted laugh and he drops down onto his back in the grass. “I'm never going running with you again.” he complains.
Kyujong lightly nudges Jungmin's shoulder with his foot. “Of course not.” he says, in a tone that should clearly tell Jungmin that yes, yes he will.
And of course Jungmin does.
Kyujong stares down at the glass of wine in his hand. He's not entirely sure how it got there, but he supposes he needs it if he has unconsciously poured it for himself. He sips it, but it feels a little like ash on his tongue, and he's unable to stand still, moving constantly through the apartment. He looks out the window one moment, then sits on the floor the next, his body as uneasy as his mind. He feels lonely, but that is no one's fault but his own.
Angrily, he punches the floor beneath him, then regrets it a moment later as he curses everything while shaking his hurting hand. “Jesus,” he grumbles, muttering another curse before closing his eyes. He really needs to get himself together.
A drunk Jungmin is an annoying Jungmin, Kyujong has realized as he hauls his friend up the stairs. And he is also heavy and Kyujong would let go if he wasn't such a good buddy and there wasn't a risk of Jungmin actually staying at that very spot until the morning.
Hyunjong is going to kill them - or at least maim them - and bury their bodies beneath the shed behind the apartment building. Though Kyujong is going to blame this on Jungmin, for he himself isn't drunk in the slightest and Jungmin was the one to run away. For two hours in total, that is and... and what is Jungmin doing?
“Hey, hey!” he protests, for Jungmin is groping his chest. Kyujong flushes and pushes Jungmin a little away, holding him by the shoulders. “What are you doing?”
“Just wanted to see if it felt as nice as it looks..” Jungmin mumbles, smiling like a fool, and Kyujong doesn't know what to say to that.
So he behaves like a fool himself. “Thank you.”
The grin he gets in return is a little worth it, but then Jungmin kind of passes out and Kyujong almost collapses under the sudden weight dropping down on him. It's only when Jungmin is safely tucked in his bed that he opens his eyes again and meets Kyujong's. Kyujong stares down at him and Jungmin smiles serenly.
“Give me a goodnight kiss.” he says innocently, and Kyujong snorts.
“Are you serious?”
Jungmin nods and Kyujong rolls his eyes, but leans down to press a very quick kiss to Jungmin's forehead. Jungmin tilts his head up so that their lips meet instead, and Kyujong startles, pulling back quickly.
“Sorry.” Jungmin murmurs, closing his eyes and falling asleep, and Kyujong half-stumbles out of the room.
Kyujong smiles fondly as he remembers the awkward days following, mostly on his side because Jungmin couldn't remember anything until Kyujong told him. Hesitant conversations had followed that, until Kyujong kissed him again and they somehow ended up in a on-and-off relationship. It was comfortable that way, and Kyujong can only chuckle. Jungmin had been so sweet that time, so innocent - well, pretended to be, at least - and he has always found that attractive.
He still does.
“We're alone.” Jungmin whispers.
Kyujong nods. “That we are... so why are you whispering?”
Jungmin grins at him. “No particular reason,” he replies and shrugs, still grinning as he looks down at the game of chess between them. How they ended up playing chess neither of them know, but it's a way to waste time. They don't really know any of the rules either so they just make up a few as they go along. Kyujong is fairly certain Jungmin's pawn isn't supposed to move six routes ahead, for example, but it does anyway and Kyujong is too lazy to object.
“Uh huh.” he says, not convinced at all, and pushes his queen to the side and moves his knight ahead of it.
“You can't do that.” Jungmin tells him, and Kyujong raises an eyebrow.
“That's not what you said when you did the same thing earlier.” he protests, and Jungmin chuckles.
“Newly invented rule.” He moves his king over and pushes the knight out of the way, stealing his queen. Kyujong tosses a pawn at him. It bounces off of Jungmin's head and he rubs the spot.
“We're still alone.”
Kyujong sighs. “Come to the point, Jungmin.”
Jungmin pushes the table carefully out of the way and holds out his hand. When Kyujong takes it, he's pulled over and halfway falls into Jungmin's lap, face somewhat squished against Jungmin's stomach.
“Here's my point,” Jungmin tells him and draws him up into a kiss. Kyujong falls into it easily enough, placing his hands on each side of Jungmin's head and lightly rubbing a cheek with his thumb. Jungmin's lips are just so incredibly soft.
He's a little startled however, for while Jungmin's hands always tend to wander, one is now firmly stroking Kyujong's backside and the other creeping up beneath his shirt.
Kyujong shivers. “Your hand is cold,” he mutters against Jungmin's lips and Jungmin laughs into the kisses they are exchanging.
“It'll be warm enough soon.” he replies and pulls back, lightly nudging Kyujong to stand. “Your room,” he says, and Kyujong frowns.
“Why mine?” he asks, moving towards it already, and Jungmin catches up and slips his hand into Kyujong's.
“Because I like it. It reminds me of you when you're not here.
Kyujong laughs and shuts the door behind them.
The memory almost makes Kyujong a little sad. It had felt so natural back then, and he wishes it could be as easy now to follow each and every one of Jungmin's whims. He bites his lip and then closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. With a jolt a feeling of deep abandonment has settled within him, and he craves suddenly to hear Jungmin's voice, to have him near. He misses him. Picking up his phone, he dials a number that he knows all too well.
“Jungmin,” he starts somewhat uncertainly when the other end is picked up. “Do you have some time? I would like to talk.”