304 [YongSeo] Paracosm (Fanfic ver.)

[macymacymacy]

Title: Paracosm (Fanfic ver)
Author: macymacymacy
Pairing: YongSeo
Rating: PG15
Genre: Slice of Life, Friendship, Spiritual
AN:
- this is actually an original story i posted in my Wattpad account (kooridenka), but I realized it fits YongSeo so I made this version.
- obviously, this is AU. just think of this as a yongseo movie.
- this is actually just a two-shots, so this is the last part.
- the term 'boy' is used because in this story Yong Hwa and his friends are 18 years old and Seohyun is 16. that's the ages of the characters in my original story.

In Memory of my cousin, RJ



( SEO JU HYUN )


JUNG YONG HWA

"Then why can you stay here, but I can't?" She asked me. It was the first time I saw her so very angry. It was also the first time I saw her hurting so much.

"I didn't choose to stay here." I told her, trying to be soothing.

"Did you really not???" She asked. And somehow I felt jolted. I didn't really know how I felt. She turned her back to me, and next thing I knew she was gone. She returned to the other world.

This world. The other world.

The other world. Suddenly I felt throbbing pain on both sides of my head. And it intensifies in just a short moment.

I closed my eyes from the pain. And suddenly there were flashes. Images. Distorted sounds.

There was a blinding light, and someone was shouting.

There was a honk. And suddenly it all went dark.

Someone was crying. A woman. And she's calling my name.

A boy. There's a boy around my age, grinning at me.

I know him. He… he's my friend.

The pain suddenly shot up and I clutched at my head as I collapse on the ground.

I know that boy… My friend…

Donghae. His name is Lee Donghae. He's--

And suddenly the pain was gone. I opened my eyes and I wasn't in Ju Hyun's world anymore. I didn't know where I was. Everything was white. There seems to be no limit to the whiteness, I couldn't figure out where is left, where is right, where is down and where is up. I felt scared. Where am I? What is happening? Am I... dead?

And in the next instant, the boy--my friend, Donghae is right in front of me. He is wearing all white. He is smiling at me.

"You know what to do." He said. And suddenly it was as if I was in control again. The panic I felt slowly fades in his presence.

I looked at him, and then nodded. I somehow knew what I had to do. I suddenly knew where I was.

I'm not dead.

I'm in my mind.

I'm dreaming. I have been dreaming. But now I know.

And now I can go back.

I remembered what I told Hyun. I didn't know if Donghae could read my mind but he nodded as I thought about it, and then he repeated the words I told Hyun.

"You have to relax. That's the way to wake up."

I realized ever since coming here. I never really slept. I never really felt tired or sleepy. But now it's time. I closed my eyes. And somehow I knew that Donghae wasn't with me anymore.

I tried to relax.

I have to wake up in the other world.

I opened my eyes and felt as if I was breathing for the first time. I felt very much disoriented.

There was something in my face. I made to move my hand but pain shot right through it as I did. And I realized I could barely feel them.

I tried to breathe to calm myself, and started moving my hand once more, never minding the pain. I tried to touch my face, but something was over my mouth… a mask. Feeling more awake, I looked around the room and came to a conclusion. I am in the hospital.

Just as I tried to sit up, the doors opened and people in white--a doctor and nurses all started fussing about me. There must be some sort of monitor that alarmed them of my awakening.

I feel somewhat detached as they do tests on me. They were asking me questions and I struggle to follow what they were saying and answer. And then, someone else arrived. A woman. My eomeoni.

The next thing I knew she was hugging me, and crying.

Slowly I placed my arm around her.

"I… I'm back." I said, my voice still hoarse.

She was nodding against me, but she never let go. It was only after the doctors said that I needed to rest that she did. But still, she didn't budge from her place next to me. She held on to my hand, as if afraid that if she let go I'd be gone again.

I was thankful she was there. Her hand was the only thing that seemed real to me in that instant.

When the doctor and the nurses were gone, I turned to my eomeoni. She was only staring at me. She looked like she still couldn't believe I had waken up.

"How long..?" I started.

She smiled sadly at me. "It's been six months since the accident." She said gently.

Accident?

"Omma, what exactly--?"

And then it came again. The flashes. The images.

But now I could understand them. Now I remembered.

I was in the university library. I was working on my project. Donghae came and told me we should go home. We were roommates in the dormitory. I started arranging my things, but then two other friends came. Lee Joon and Onew. Lee Joon told us what happened to Onew. His girlfriend just broke up with him. Lee Joon insisted the three of us try and cheer him up. He suggested we went out and drink. Donghae and I agreed easily enough. We used my car and went to one of the bars downtown. We indulge ourselves, and my friends had drank quite a lot. And even though I am driving, I, too had some drinks.

It was pass midnight when I dragged my friends out of the bar. As soon as we got in the car, Donghae fell asleep. Onew and Lee Joon were still laughing at something I really couldn't understand as I started the car. After a while though, they also fell asleep.

There were only a few cars in the road, so we were going a bit fast. And then…

I felt my chest constrict.

I fell asleep. I was driving and I fell asleep. When I woke up, there was a blinding light. There were a lot of noise-- honks, people shouting, tires screeching, metals colliding-- and then, everything went black.

"Lee Joon, Onew, Donghae, what happened to them?" I asked my eomeoni.

I couldn't read the expression on her face, but I felt scared.

"Lee Joon and Onew are also recovering…" She said. "They were very badly injured but they're okay now. They just need some rehabilitation."

I felt more scared when she stopped talking.

"And Donghae?" I needed to know.

Suddenly, my eomeoni was hugging me again. "It's not your fault. It was an accident." She whispered to me.

I closed my eyes as the pain engulfs me.

"He..?"

"He's gone, honey. He didn't even make it to the hospital." My eomeoni's gentle voice said. I found myself hugging her back, hugging her very tightly. I didn't know how I feel--I only know I needed to hold on to her, cause if not, something bad will happen.

We stayed like that--for how long--I didn't know. I just held onto my eomeoni and cried. Out of guilt, out of the shame, out of the loss…

I only ever stopped when an image of Donghae wearing all white flashed in my mind.

He… he was in my dream. He helped me came back. I felt my tears filling my eyes once more, but then another image flashed in my mind.

A girl with long hair. And suddenly I felt my chest ache.

And something was weird. I couldn't make out her face.

I suddenly felt panic. I know her. I'm certain I know her. But… I can't seem to remember her. Why can't I remember her? I… I think she needs me. I have to do something… But I can't remember what.

I didn't realized I had started hyperventilating. The next thing I knew, the doctor was back. My eomeoni must have called him. He's talking to me but I can barely understand. He's telling me I need to relax. But he doesn't understand. I need to help her. She needs me. I felt tears trailing down my face once more, but right then it wasn't out of grief… It was out of self-depreciation.

I felt something prick my arm and suddenly I was feeling drowsy. My eomeoni's worried face was the last thing I saw before everything fades to black.

The next time I woke up, it was to my doctor rousing me for another physical exam. It was another day, and my eomeoni had gone for the time being. But after the doctor left, it wasn't long until someone came to visit me.

It was Lee Joon. I was surprised to see him. But I was more taken aback by the scar stretching across his face and to his neck.

"I'm so sorry." I said in a horrified whisper.

He looked away at my words, but he went closer to me.

"It was an accident, man." He told me. "You didn't want that to happen… And you and Donghae wouldn't even have been there if it wasn't for me." He said also very softly.

I didn't know what to say.

"Are you okay?" He asked me.

I just nodded.

And I was surprised when he started crying. "I'm really sorry, man." He said as he sobbed. "If you had-- I mean, Donghae-- I'm… I'm just so happy you're back." He said and hugged me, sobbing still.

For the following days, there were many people who visited me. Onew, my family, my friends, even Donghae's brother. Lee Teuk.

They also told me what I've missed during the six months I was in coma, and what really happened in the accident.

My car collided into another, which then collided with a parked bus. Meanwhile, a trailer truck attempted to avoid the accident only for its wheel to get caught in the center island of the road. Donghae wasn't wearing a seat belt and acquired severe contusion He and another one, a young woman who was about to get on the bus, died in the accident.

Everyone says they don't blame me. Everyone says it was an accident. They want to make me feel better, but what really happens is the opposite.

Even if it was an accident, it only happened because I was irresponsible.

The doctor told me I could already go home after a few days of physical therapy. He advised me not to dwell on the accident and to try and move on. How can I though when I knew I'm the reason two people is dead--that two sets of parents have each lost a child, that three siblings lost their baby brother, that I lost my best friend.

My eomeoni was with me when I checked out of the hospital. She had arranged my things--I had lots of things in the hospital in my six months stay. She held my hand as I stepped out of the room. And suddenly I remembered.

"Ju Hyun." Her name is Ju Hyun. The girl in my dreams. And…

"What is it, Yong?" I barely heard my eomeoni say.

"I need to help her." I said out loud.

"Her? Who?" My eomeoni asked once more and I was pulled out from my memories. I didn't know what to say to my her. Would she even believe me? I don't even know if I believe myself… But Ju Hyun… she's just so real to me. I know I only saw her in a dream, but it was as if I knew that it was a real meeting.

"My… friend." I found myself saying to my eomeoni.

She looked confused, and was about to asked a question but I just shook my head no. I just knew she wouldn't believe me. She might even think I'm going mad or that it's just a sort of side effect of being in my head for so long. Oddly, I would prefer the former to happen.

She still looked uncertain but only nodded. She then led me to the elevator. I could already walk, but my movements are still slow. My muscles had weaken because of months of disuse.

The elevator doors opened and we stepped in, but suddenly my eomeoni stopped. I looked at her, but she was looking at the lady inside the elevator.

"Seo In Young-shii." She greeted, as she stepped inside.

The lady seems a bit distracted, that she was surprised with my eomeoni calling her. I saw recognition in her face as she looked at my eomeoni and she gave us a curt nod.

"Seo In Young-shii, this is my son, Yong Hwa." My eomeoni suddenly introduced me.

The lady's eyes widen, and she looked very much surprised. But the expression was gone in a second.

"Hello." She told me. "I'm glad you are doing well, now."

"Thank you." I just said. I really didn't know who she is. I haven't seen her before.

My eomeoni then squeeze my arm, and whispered. "She's Seo In Young-shii… It was her daughter… that girl about to get on the bus." She explained.

At her words, I felt my heart constrict. She's that girl's eomeoni.

"I--" I was about to apologize but Seo In Young-shii sharply shook her head.

"It was an accident." She told me.

I felt numb. I didn't know how long I can take this guilt. I've caused this kind lady to lose a daughter. How could she smile at me and forgive me?

"Why are you here, by the way?" My eomeoni asked, looking concerned.

I was so surprised when suddenly, tears spilled from the lady's eyes. I didn't know what to do or how I felt.

My eomeoni had moved forward at once and gave her a loose hug. It seems Seo In Young-shii have been in a right state. She was shaking, as if trying not to cry.

"What is it? Can... can we help?" My eomeoni hesitantly asked.

"My daughter… my other daughter," Seo In Young-shii started saying. "S-She's not well. She's in this hospital. My Ju Hyun."

I felt as if my world stopped. Ju Hyun.

And suddenly I remembered a memory from a dream.

"Are you doing this on purpose? I know some people are able to do that." I asked her.

"No…" she told me, smiling sadly. "I… ever since my eonnie died I've been having these… dreams." She said.

I felt my heart throbbing through my rib cage. Could it be--? Is this the Ju Hyun in my dreams? Was that young woman... her sister?

"C-can I see her?" I didn't even realized I have opened my mouth.

Both my eomeoni and Seo In Young-shii looked at me in surprised. That was when the elevator stopped, and the doors opened. We were already in the ground floor.

Seo In Young-shii was looking at me as if trying to understand me. I was scared that she wouldn't let me see her daughter, but after a few more seconds, she just nodded and she pressed the elevator's button to the right floor, and we started ascending again.

Seo In Young-shii led as to the right room and opened the door.

Once I laid my eyes on her, I was sure. It wasn't a bout of insanity or a side effect of being comatose. It was all real.

She is the Ju Hyun in my dreams. She and Donghae are the reason I could go back.

"W-what happened to her?" I asked Seo In Young-shii, and I was surprised to feel tears trailing my face.

Seo In Young-shii kept her stare at me as she answered. "We don't know. The doctors didn't understand. They say there's nothing wrong with her physically. But she wouldn't wake up no matter what we do. She wouldn't respond to anything. She'd been asleep for a few days now."

I found myself walking towards her. She really looked healthy. It was as if she was just sleeping.

Another memory came to me just then.

"Hyun… why are you always here?" I asked her in concern. "You can already control your mind… that means your are here because you chose to be here." And I am certain that isn't good.

"Because I love it here." She told me, looking confused.

"But… you have a life there. You have family there, and friends." I try to tell her.

"You are my friend." She said, frowning a little.

"But this world… isn't real." I insisted. "Why do you want to be here where there isn't really anything?"

She grimaced at me, looking hurt. And I realized the sky is darkening. Her emotions are being manifested in the sky. "I can't hurt here. In that other world, it's a nightmare." She told me, and suddenly images filled the sky. It was her memories.

Is she… is she back in that world?

She… she chose that world instead of this. She must be in that world.

But that… that can't be… she needs to come back. She needs to be here.

I need to help her. Just as she had helped me.

"Hyun…" I called without really thinking.

I heard Seo In Young-shii gasped and I saw why. Hyun's hand twitch. We waited, but that was the only thing that happened.

I tried calling out to her once more, but nothing happened anymore.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned to see Seo In Young-shii, looking unbelievably at me.

"How… You… do you know my Hyun?" She asked me, her voice suspicious.

"I…" I didn't really know what to say, how to explain.

"I met her in a dream…" I said. And I told her and my eomeoni everything that I could remember from my very long dream.

I didn't know if they believed me, and frankly I didn't really care. I just knew I needed to help Hyun. I asked Seo In Young-shii if I could visit her daughter again, and though she hesitated, she agreed in the end.

When my eomeoni and I arrived at our house, we were both quiet. I didn't know what she is thinking but when I excused myself to my room, she had told me to rest.

But I wasn't intending to. After telling them what transpired in my dreams, I finally saw everything clearly.

We were lucid dreaming, Hyun and I-- or at least, she did. I knew I was in a dream but I was never aware of the reality. I just existed in her dreams, convinced that I was just that: a dream. I really didn't remember any memories of myself during all those time I am with Hyun. But I knew about dreams. I had explained it to her.

It was because I could lucid dream since I was a kid. I finally remembered. I had read on it, and even experimented on myself. I was like Hyun. I always used my dreams to escape my reality. But I never wanted to stay there permanently. I always go back.

But Hyun--she doesn't want to go back. Right now, she is certainly shutting herself in her dream world.

And… maybe I can help her. I have to try and help her. I know how it works. I know how to induce such dreams.

Without changing or even removing my shoes, I lied down my bed and closed my eyes. I relaxed my mind and will sleep to take me. I kept myself conscious as I felt my body shut down. And when I opened my eyes

I am here. My own dream world--though it still looks like my room. I tried moving and was relief I was completely in my dream now, and couldn't feel sleep paralysis. I felt my heart thump, and I tried to relax myself. I have to do this right.

I closed my eyes, and tried to remember Hyun from my dream. When I opened my eyes, she was right in front of me. I felt so relieved, I made to go to her.

But then I felt something is odd.

I stared at Hyun, and she smiled at me.

And I realized this isn't Hyun. Not the real Hyun.

I felt panicked, scared for a moment. I tried to breathe evenly, and closed my eyes. When I opened them once more, she is gone.

I collapsed on the floor, feeling just defeated. That's right, I'm lucid dreaming. I couldn't just summon her here. If I wished to see her, I would only conjure an image of her… not the real her.

I remembered I've read on those. There are people who can meet in dreams, but it would have to be set beforehand-in the real world. And obviously, I wouldn't be able to do that with Hyun.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

I woke up, and sighed in defeat, feeling so useless.

I need to get her back. I just need to.

I stood up from my bed and changed into more comfortable clothes. I took the laptop set on my bedside table and sat down my bed. I opened it and waited for all the updates to finish.

Then I started on my research. I have to find something that can help. Maybe there's a way I can come to her… I'm sure there's a way to get her. There just have to be a way.

It wasn't long when I stumbled upon the term NDE or 'Near-Death Experience'.

It was what happened to me. It wasn't lucid dreaming. It encompassed detachment from the body… But why… how did I came to be in Hyun's dream?

I tried to read more on it, trying to understand what exactly had took place. I soon came to the term OBE or 'Out-of-Body Experience.'

Essentially, it looks as if that is what had happened. I had a near-death experience, and came to have an out-of-body experience. I ended up in Hyun's dream. How that happened, I don't think any scientist or researchers could explain, but the important thing is that it happened.

It happened before, and that must mean it can happen again. I can meet her again.

The next few hours was spent on trying to learn how to induce an OBE.

It was close to dawn when I am certain I have read all there is I could about OBE. Theoretically, I knew how I could instigate it. It was very similar to how to trigger a lucid dream. I wasn't sure how I could go to where Hyun was, though.

As the sun rose, I readied myself to sleep--for my journey. I said a little prayer before closing my eyes.

Please, let me be able to help Hyun. Donghae, if you could, please help me once more.

I closed my eyes and kept a firmed grip on my wakefulness as I let my body sleep.

I opened my eyes once more and I knew I was lucid dreaming. Now I need to banish the dream imagery and visualize myself separating from my body.

I closed my eyes, keeping my breathing even, and tried to concentrate.

I opened my eyes but I was still in a state of lucid dream. I could still move my body. I need to go through sleep paralysis before I could achieve OBE.

I tried not to be too impatient and closed my eyes once more.

I concentrated. And I felt something shift.

Slowly, I opened my eyes.

It was to find myself looking at a young woman.

She isn't Hyun, but I was certain she isn't another image I conjured. She's smiling at me, and somehow she seems familiar, though I'm quite sure this is the first time I saw her.

She started walking towards me and I felt that she is real. I didn't understand, but I didn't feel scared as she raised her hand and touched me.

At the touch, everything suddenly faded into whiteness. I felt as if I was blinded. I didn't even realized I had closed my eyes until I opened them once more.

I gaped at what I saw. I was in an entirely new world.

I am in a field--but it wasn't grass at my feet but rather flowers made of paper. The vast sky in front of me is purple in color, the clouds floating around it the color pink, as if they were cotton candies.

Where am I?

I then remembered the girl from before and I looked around, until I saw her to my right, just a few steps away from me.

But she wasn't looking at me. She is looking forward. I followed her eyes and felt my heart jolted as if awaken and started beating fast, when I saw her.

Hyun.

She's lying on the field, paper flowers surrounding her. She looked as if she's cloud watching. She is smiling, looking very contended. But then I realized, there were tears flowing down from her eyes.

It was as if I stopped breathing as I watched her. Everything around me is beautiful but sad. Hyun, especially.

I almost jumped when something touched my arm. But it was only the other girl. I felt shiver run down my spine when I realized she felt very cold.

She smiled sadly at me and spoke for the first time.

"Please save my dongsaeng." She said.

My eyes widen as I realized who I was talking to. Who had guided me to Hyun.

This must be Yoona, Hyuns sister. The young woman from the accident.

I felt her push me forward towards her sister. And oddly enough, that somehow gave me the courage and strength to make my way to her.

Hyun sat up when she realized she wasn't alone.

Our eyes met, and I see her surprise.

She hastily stood up, never breaking our eye contact. She was only a few steps away from me.

I continued to walk forward, but then she backed away. I realized then that she looked scared.

I felt my chest tighten at the sight. And without really thinking, I closed the gap between us and pulled her to me.

She stood still and tense as I wrap my arms around her.

"Wake up, please." I found myself saying.

But she isn't saying anything. And she isn't even relaxing. She stood just as still.

"Hyun, please wake up." I tried to say again, hugging her more tightly to me. I knew I was in a dream, but her warmth against me felt so real.

"Wake up. I want to meet you for real." I told her. "You have to be in the other world. In the real world." I pleaded.

She then started shaking. I tried to pull back, but before I could, she had wrapped her arms around me as well.

She's crying.

"Please don't cry." I tell her. "Everything's going to be all right. But you have to wake up. Your omma's very worried. Your eonnie, too. She lead me here. She wants you to wake up."

She shook her head, but didn't say anything. She is still crying and holding on to me.

"You have to wake up." I insisted. "You can't stay here."

"I…" She started saying, her voice hoarse. It was as if she hadn't spoken in a long time. "I don't want to hurt anymore."

I sighed and kissed her on the top of her head. "I can't promise you won't hurt anymore if you wake up." I told her.

"But I'll make sure you won't be alone anymore, I promise. Just please, wake up." I said.

"You left me here." She told me.

"I didn't want to." I told her. "That's why I'm here. I came back to get you."

"Why do you want me back there?" She asked me.

"I need you there." I told her.

"I can never wake up if you aren't there. "

The world started shifting then. And the next thing I knew, we were in the hospital. Hyun is still crying to me, but I knew she was calming somewhat.

I caressed her face, and tried to wipe the tears away. I kissed her in the forehead and said,

"You have to relax. That's the way to wake up."

She closed her eyes, and I did, too. When I opened my eyes,

I was back. I looked at the clock and saw the time. It was only half past nine. I didn't even think of anything anymore and just changed my clothes and went out my house. Hastily, I made my way to the hospital.

I went up to her floor, never minding the nurses the greeted me. I went straight to her room and opened the door.

Hyun is still asleep. Besides her, in a chair, her omma lays, also asleep.

I approached the bed, and took hold of her hand.

"Hyun, wake up." I called, feeling a little scared.

Her eyes fluttered open and then her eyes landed on mine.

I smiled at her, feeling so lightheaded with relief. She's back. She's really back. She's here with me. Finally.

"Welcome back." I told her.

She didn't say anything and just looked around. She looked at her omma and then turned to me again.

"Yong, is this real or is this another dream?" She asked, looking a confused and scared.

I lifted her hand on my chest, close to my heart to let her feel it beating.

"This is real." I told her.

"I finally met you for real."

END

AN: And my little sister wanted to strangle me because she wanted me to expand the story more. But, I can't really do that, since summer classes will start this Thursday. so yeah, the end~ /shot