(no subject)
james said something really unexpected & profound tonight that allowed me to cut the last tether i had left in my heart that was connecting me to the past. i've finally *fully* let judah go. it's all in the past now, in time i will be able to look back upon it all and smile... and because of this, i am *vastly* relieved...
"to love someone means that you are making a commitment to their well-being, that you are willing to take care of them and put them before yourself..."
...and the best kind of love is when that sentiment is reciprocated. and sometimes, for whatever reason, it's not. and that can really hurt. but the pain either ends up being unnecessary, or beautiful. i have now left behind the unnecessary; i am 100% willing to deal with the beautiful. for the most part, that love is returned, to the best of each individual's ability. and in the few cases where it isn't, it's been because that individual hasn't figured certain things out yet... namely, what the above italic statement means to them, and how to apply it healthily in their life. god knows *i'm* only just learning how to not put myself too far on the backburner, and also not to forget about certain people (namely my dad and james) who have done so for me...
and recently, i have come to realize yet again, and on an even deeper level, just how much love and happiness and genuine awesomeness i am surrounded by here. the party the other night was monumentally crazy & hilarious. i am loved and i am in love. i love my coworkers like brothers in arms, i love my friends like my family, i love matt and amber and leah like blood siblings, i love james in a way that can never be explained and that i am only now starting to appreciate as i should, i love tyler in a fierce, loyal, ridiculous yet tender sort of way, i love alex more than he'll ever know or ever even know what to do with... i love my home in this community, my pets, my house, my work, and my city.
all these people, all these things... they all have their frustrations and bad points now and then. but i cannot let the blargh of life, even when it *REALLY* piles up sometimes, to interfere with my ability to see that i am completely surrounded by blessings.... and it's only going to go higher and higher from here.
Thank You, Universe... no matter what, you've always been looking out for me.
;D
*
"to love someone means that you are making a commitment to their well-being, that you are willing to take care of them and put them before yourself..."
...and the best kind of love is when that sentiment is reciprocated. and sometimes, for whatever reason, it's not. and that can really hurt. but the pain either ends up being unnecessary, or beautiful. i have now left behind the unnecessary; i am 100% willing to deal with the beautiful. for the most part, that love is returned, to the best of each individual's ability. and in the few cases where it isn't, it's been because that individual hasn't figured certain things out yet... namely, what the above italic statement means to them, and how to apply it healthily in their life. god knows *i'm* only just learning how to not put myself too far on the backburner, and also not to forget about certain people (namely my dad and james) who have done so for me...
and recently, i have come to realize yet again, and on an even deeper level, just how much love and happiness and genuine awesomeness i am surrounded by here. the party the other night was monumentally crazy & hilarious. i am loved and i am in love. i love my coworkers like brothers in arms, i love my friends like my family, i love matt and amber and leah like blood siblings, i love james in a way that can never be explained and that i am only now starting to appreciate as i should, i love tyler in a fierce, loyal, ridiculous yet tender sort of way, i love alex more than he'll ever know or ever even know what to do with... i love my home in this community, my pets, my house, my work, and my city.
all these people, all these things... they all have their frustrations and bad points now and then. but i cannot let the blargh of life, even when it *REALLY* piles up sometimes, to interfere with my ability to see that i am completely surrounded by blessings.... and it's only going to go higher and higher from here.
Thank You, Universe... no matter what, you've always been looking out for me.
;D
*