So weird
This is so weird -- I've spent the day working on the new book, a Living Abroad guide to New Zealand. One of the chapters details the earthquake-proneness of the country and talks about the geology of the area. And now they've had a terrible one, right around the time I was reading this. Yoiks.
I'm looking forward to going to Escapade on Thursday, but now they're scaring us by saying there's a possibility of snow in the forecast by then. In Seattle, life shuts down when it snows, and it's pretty much impossible to get in or out of the area I live in because of the size of the hills, so this is making me miserable. Even if the weather isn't that great in California, it's still probably better than here. The other day when I was moving stuff out of my dad's apartment, I ended up stuck outside the building and had to walk around to the front. I cut across the lawn, and my feet sank into the sodden ground about three inches, ruining my favorite shoes. We've had so much rain that there's nothing left to soak it up. My own lawn has become completely moss. (Which is, all things considered, better than the horrid floods and earthquakes and myriad other disasters befalling the rest of the world, I know.) This has been a really hard year here, the kind that makes you start feeling suicidal.
The past week has been so stressful I can't sleep or eat much. I wake up in the wee hours and can never go back to sleep because I'm so weighed down with all this stuff to do related to Dad. We met with the hospice people on Saturday and we're still going through with it, even though last week he was unbelievably great. I feel like I'm on the world's worst rollercoaster -- up and down up and down, getting sick to my stomach. Just when I thought he was dying, he turns more lucid and happy than he's been since this first happened.
Still, if they made the order to do hospice, that means the doctor believes he has six months or less to live as he's going now, so he and I talked about it and I told him I started the thing when he was in bad shape, and he understands. He's still not eating much, though he says he is, and I found out he's dropped over 35 pounds in the past month or so. The hospice lady was every bit as great as the people we dealt with in San Diego when sis_r was dying, and I'm really looking forward to having a whole team of people who will communicate with me and really truly tell me what's happening to Dad, and talk to me honestly. She was amazing with Dad, too.
Moving him out has been horrible. A lot of stuff in his place belonged to my sister or my mom, so there's that pain, but mostly it's just been so... I don't know. Pressurey, and dealing with my cousins and their fussing and bullying, and taking out my frustration on my friend Michael (everyone kept doing stuff that I didn't want/need them to do, and being guys, they had to all give me this shit as if they were in charge, which just... gah). I hired a business that deals with a lot of people in the retirement communities, specializing in elderly transitions, a group of women who are all daughters who've gone through this sort of thing. They've been enormously helpful. I haven't talked with them today but they were supposed to come in today and tomorrow to do the final clearout. They've been really sweet -- and I wish I could have disinvolved everyone else, but that was a lot harder to do.
I promise I will get to the comments everyone's left on my Prison Break vid as soon as I can. I kind of felt like I needed something positive, an attagirl I guess, when I posted it, so your comments have been a really welcome break from all this. I wish I had time to work on my PB story, but I'm starting to feel like that's never going to happen now. There is still so much to do about my dad -- getting his mail changed over, all the finanical stuff... arg. Leaves little time for fandom love. But OMG, Fichtner's new movie starts Friday and
sdwolfpup and I (and possibly more fangirls) are going to see it when I get back from the con. It's been years since I've been able to watch him in a movie on the big screen, and I'm sooooo looking forward to this.
Season finale of Tabatha's Salon Takeover tonight. WAH! I am sad, I will miss my girl. I thought the most awesome thing this season was seeing her take that party girl a few episodes ago shopping after she made an effort to come in sober. I was filled with envy!
And I have many many thoughts on Fringe, but I don't know when I will have time to articulate them -- or at least try to, I'm not sure if I can even.
I'm looking forward to going to Escapade on Thursday, but now they're scaring us by saying there's a possibility of snow in the forecast by then. In Seattle, life shuts down when it snows, and it's pretty much impossible to get in or out of the area I live in because of the size of the hills, so this is making me miserable. Even if the weather isn't that great in California, it's still probably better than here. The other day when I was moving stuff out of my dad's apartment, I ended up stuck outside the building and had to walk around to the front. I cut across the lawn, and my feet sank into the sodden ground about three inches, ruining my favorite shoes. We've had so much rain that there's nothing left to soak it up. My own lawn has become completely moss. (Which is, all things considered, better than the horrid floods and earthquakes and myriad other disasters befalling the rest of the world, I know.) This has been a really hard year here, the kind that makes you start feeling suicidal.
The past week has been so stressful I can't sleep or eat much. I wake up in the wee hours and can never go back to sleep because I'm so weighed down with all this stuff to do related to Dad. We met with the hospice people on Saturday and we're still going through with it, even though last week he was unbelievably great. I feel like I'm on the world's worst rollercoaster -- up and down up and down, getting sick to my stomach. Just when I thought he was dying, he turns more lucid and happy than he's been since this first happened.
Still, if they made the order to do hospice, that means the doctor believes he has six months or less to live as he's going now, so he and I talked about it and I told him I started the thing when he was in bad shape, and he understands. He's still not eating much, though he says he is, and I found out he's dropped over 35 pounds in the past month or so. The hospice lady was every bit as great as the people we dealt with in San Diego when sis_r was dying, and I'm really looking forward to having a whole team of people who will communicate with me and really truly tell me what's happening to Dad, and talk to me honestly. She was amazing with Dad, too.
Moving him out has been horrible. A lot of stuff in his place belonged to my sister or my mom, so there's that pain, but mostly it's just been so... I don't know. Pressurey, and dealing with my cousins and their fussing and bullying, and taking out my frustration on my friend Michael (everyone kept doing stuff that I didn't want/need them to do, and being guys, they had to all give me this shit as if they were in charge, which just... gah). I hired a business that deals with a lot of people in the retirement communities, specializing in elderly transitions, a group of women who are all daughters who've gone through this sort of thing. They've been enormously helpful. I haven't talked with them today but they were supposed to come in today and tomorrow to do the final clearout. They've been really sweet -- and I wish I could have disinvolved everyone else, but that was a lot harder to do.
I promise I will get to the comments everyone's left on my Prison Break vid as soon as I can. I kind of felt like I needed something positive, an attagirl I guess, when I posted it, so your comments have been a really welcome break from all this. I wish I had time to work on my PB story, but I'm starting to feel like that's never going to happen now. There is still so much to do about my dad -- getting his mail changed over, all the finanical stuff... arg. Leaves little time for fandom love. But OMG, Fichtner's new movie starts Friday and
sdwolfpup and I (and possibly more fangirls) are going to see it when I get back from the con. It's been years since I've been able to watch him in a movie on the big screen, and I'm sooooo looking forward to this.
Season finale of Tabatha's Salon Takeover tonight. WAH! I am sad, I will miss my girl. I thought the most awesome thing this season was seeing her take that party girl a few episodes ago shopping after she made an effort to come in sober. I was filled with envy!
And I have many many thoughts on Fringe, but I don't know when I will have time to articulate them -- or at least try to, I'm not sure if I can even.