Ranting ahead
If you want to hear me blabber on about my husband...
Despise, loathe, seriously don't like, pissed off beyond belief at my husband. He is sooooooooooo freakin' callous. All I did was ask him if he wouldn't mind spending al ittle time with me. I spend all day taking care of hte twins, and I wanted to sit with him for a little while. I've been asking for WEEKS, the same thing. I asked him the last week, every night, can you please at least play on your computer in the same ROOM as I am in? Every time...he fucking sits on his computer in the bedroom or bathroom upstairs and plays SOLITAIRE, surfs E-bay or some shit like that and no matter how many times I ask him to please just spend a little time with me, he DOESN'T do it. And when I finally got him down today, he FELL ASLEEP. Mind you, it's a weekend and he got PLENTY of sleep last night. More than me as I was doing night feedings with the twins and it takes an hour or so to get them both changed and fed.
WHY did I marry him? I can't stop asking myself this. I'll never leave him, because I love my girls sooo much and can't tear them away from him. As much as I don't like him right now, they deserve someone. And he treats them wonderfully. Though, I notice he only wants to hold them when hey are quiet and not hungry...but that's typical male... If I didn't have the twins, I would be gone. That's the first time I have admitted that, but if I didn't have those beautiful baby girls, I would have left him by now. I really, really never thought I'd have to say those words. I'm not sure what to do about this, if anything. Should I just forget my desire to be companions and just throw myself into the babies? Do what I want, when I want, to hell with him? Rhonda, you MUST have some good advice here, you're always the best for advice!!! :-)
I had the girls 3 months ago or so, it'll be four months at the end of September, and I'm not entirely back to normal. While nothing really HURTS anymore, I am still not able to do everything I used to because of hte length of time I was on bedrest before the delivery. And because I'm still working to get my physical fitness back. I lost all the weight, that wasn't a problem, it only took a week or two, amazingly. But I don't feel up to par. I'm always tired, and it isn't really lack of sleep. I usually manage 6-7 hours of sleep. (Thought not today, it's already 5 a.m. and I haven't slept a wink because I want to go pound my husband into the ground...) My friend says she thinks I'm anemic. I'm ALWAYS pale, though, so I'm not really sure if that's the case or what. I have no health insurance for me, so I'm not about to go to a doctor. We definitely don't have the money. Since I couldn't go back to work. There's the guilt about that too that is eating away at me. He uses work as his "excuse" to get out of anything baby-work related. I have to cojole him into feeding them. If he doesn't feed them, he doesn't hold them, and they need that bonding and I'm going to get it for them even if I have to wring his neck a little.
I'm so fed up with things the way they are though. He has taken TWO DAYS to sand out joint compound and prime two SMALL, and I mean SMALL closets. I had half a mind to do them myself. He is so slow and it drives me nuts. I understand we need to finish the rooms out...not a problem, but when the house is such a mess I trip in ANY room I go into, HELP ME CLEAN UP. He never takes a bottle brush to the bottles, no way, never cleans up his laundry, just throws it on the floor, never puts a dish in the dishwasher and half the time never even gets it to the kitchen. I'm a stay at home MOM, not a housekeeper. While I don't MIND keeping the place cleaned up, he needs to put a little effort in. I'm not his maid.
All right, I'm actually hungry. It's nearly breakfast time. Sorry bout the rant!
Despise, loathe, seriously don't like, pissed off beyond belief at my husband. He is sooooooooooo freakin' callous. All I did was ask him if he wouldn't mind spending al ittle time with me. I spend all day taking care of hte twins, and I wanted to sit with him for a little while. I've been asking for WEEKS, the same thing. I asked him the last week, every night, can you please at least play on your computer in the same ROOM as I am in? Every time...he fucking sits on his computer in the bedroom or bathroom upstairs and plays SOLITAIRE, surfs E-bay or some shit like that and no matter how many times I ask him to please just spend a little time with me, he DOESN'T do it. And when I finally got him down today, he FELL ASLEEP. Mind you, it's a weekend and he got PLENTY of sleep last night. More than me as I was doing night feedings with the twins and it takes an hour or so to get them both changed and fed.
WHY did I marry him? I can't stop asking myself this. I'll never leave him, because I love my girls sooo much and can't tear them away from him. As much as I don't like him right now, they deserve someone. And he treats them wonderfully. Though, I notice he only wants to hold them when hey are quiet and not hungry...but that's typical male... If I didn't have the twins, I would be gone. That's the first time I have admitted that, but if I didn't have those beautiful baby girls, I would have left him by now. I really, really never thought I'd have to say those words. I'm not sure what to do about this, if anything. Should I just forget my desire to be companions and just throw myself into the babies? Do what I want, when I want, to hell with him? Rhonda, you MUST have some good advice here, you're always the best for advice!!! :-)
I had the girls 3 months ago or so, it'll be four months at the end of September, and I'm not entirely back to normal. While nothing really HURTS anymore, I am still not able to do everything I used to because of hte length of time I was on bedrest before the delivery. And because I'm still working to get my physical fitness back. I lost all the weight, that wasn't a problem, it only took a week or two, amazingly. But I don't feel up to par. I'm always tired, and it isn't really lack of sleep. I usually manage 6-7 hours of sleep. (Thought not today, it's already 5 a.m. and I haven't slept a wink because I want to go pound my husband into the ground...) My friend says she thinks I'm anemic. I'm ALWAYS pale, though, so I'm not really sure if that's the case or what. I have no health insurance for me, so I'm not about to go to a doctor. We definitely don't have the money. Since I couldn't go back to work. There's the guilt about that too that is eating away at me. He uses work as his "excuse" to get out of anything baby-work related. I have to cojole him into feeding them. If he doesn't feed them, he doesn't hold them, and they need that bonding and I'm going to get it for them even if I have to wring his neck a little.
I'm so fed up with things the way they are though. He has taken TWO DAYS to sand out joint compound and prime two SMALL, and I mean SMALL closets. I had half a mind to do them myself. He is so slow and it drives me nuts. I understand we need to finish the rooms out...not a problem, but when the house is such a mess I trip in ANY room I go into, HELP ME CLEAN UP. He never takes a bottle brush to the bottles, no way, never cleans up his laundry, just throws it on the floor, never puts a dish in the dishwasher and half the time never even gets it to the kitchen. I'm a stay at home MOM, not a housekeeper. While I don't MIND keeping the place cleaned up, he needs to put a little effort in. I'm not his maid.
All right, I'm actually hungry. It's nearly breakfast time. Sorry bout the rant!