Do not attract notice from zombies. Do not attract notice from zombies. Do not attract notice from

[gwendally]

This essay was published in my local paper today.  I'm trying not to reply to it.  I want to not reply to it.  I do not want attention from the zombies.  But, seriously, the replies are burning inside me.  So I'll put them here.  But first, the essay with only minor redaction.

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Comments

[rev_mac]

Damn and here I thought she would find the same solution I did, shoot the little B*****Ds with a pellet gun. I works well, clear a bunch out, wait a while till the next crop moves in. It is entertaining too!

[gwendally]

When I was reading this the first time and I got to the part where she was going to do a paradigm shift and remove the bird feeder I thought she was onto something. The banks get rich because people keep paying them money! You take out loans and pay them interest. You swipe your credit card and they get 2% of gross sales. You use your debit card and they get 40 cents of each dime. You invest in a mutual fund and they get 2% of gross assets under management. You keep FEEDING them and - amazingly enough - they get FAT. Oh, whatEVER could you DO?

But, no, that's not where she was going in this. They werne't fat because she insisted on feeding them. They were fat because they were adaptive little critters who were good at getting what she was giving. The solution she came up with was to magically invent a constantly available food source for EVERYONE.

She just boggled my mind.

[rev_mac]

The ideal of socialism, but as you pointed out it is a centralized system and what happens when resources are no longer available.

She could also have tried putting red pepper in the feeders, birds can't "taste" the capsaicin, but squirrels sure do.

[aloha_moira]

That is an awesome tip.

[roasted_beets]

Will that work with bears?

[aloha_moira]

The implications of extending that metaphor, however...

[rev_mac]

Well, there is that!