Brooke Castillo's "Urge Jar"
At this point in my weight loss journey it's entirely psychological. There's no lack of understanding about the calories in things, and I enjoy moderate amounts of exercise. I'm fat because my version of parenting is to stick the baby in the playpen with a bottle. No, not my ACTUAL parenting, I was a LOT better parent than that. I'm also a better dog owner than that: my labrador retriever isn't overweight and that's saying a lot. But parenting the part of me that is toddler/animal, the part that just wants to be happy and avoid pain, the mute (but feeling) part of me that will grab bacon with my left hand the way my puppy would if some were left alone with her... THAT is what I need to train.
I've done clicker training with pets before. I've done sticker training with toddlers before. In Episode #263 of the Life Coach School podcast, Brooke Castillo (who made millions teaching people to be a weight loss coach after she figured out a winning style) offers the concept of marrying my meditation practice with clicker training. Here's how it works.
The day before, write down everything you're going to eat the next day. Think through challenges: will you be driving at dinnertime? Will you have the ingredients on hand? If your previous meeting runs late will you have time to make and eat that salad or will you only have time to grab something on the run? This is my strong suit, I'm great at looking into the future. For extra points I can log this into my calorie counting app to consider whether it's balanced enough or the right amount of calories, but at this point I am pretty good at spotting issues.
Then, in step 2, eat EXACTLY what I planned. Make myself make and eat the salad if that's what I planned, even if I'm running late. Parent my toddler; you wouldn't expect a toddler to skip lunch. Watch for fails as a way to improve your planning.
Step 3 is to notice EVERY TIME you have an urge to diverge. Your sneaky toddler might be whining for a cupcake or whatever. She might make it sound reasonable, and fun things are fun, right? Don't fight the urge. Think of it as a temper tantrum in the grocery store: you just need to sit with it and feel the storm. Be compassionate. Be curious about what's really going on. Feel. Listen. Sit with it.
Step 4 is to put a bead in a little glass jar as soon a I notice the urge has passed. (This could take 40 seconds or 10 minutes!) It needs to be see-through so you can see it accumulating. It needs to be pretty. I'm using pretty rocks collected at my local rocky beach and a whiskey tumbler I like. It's a simple, subtle reward but it's wonderful training to get a little "atta girl" for resisting the urge. It also builds confidence that I can resist urges in the future because there's evidence of all the times I already have.
Step 5 is to track my weight each day, and get clear understanding that my weight fluctuates depending on whether or not I successfully ate on my protocol.
Step 6 is to do this until you've collected 100 pretty rocks/beads. Really drill home this training.
This is the same thing she's used for over-drinking and stopping smoking.
For me the concept that I need to parent my own body at least as well as I would my child's or dog's is still a bit foreign. I'm working to become more reliable to myself. Collecting evidence that I'm reliable would help with that.
So now I'm off to the beach to collect some more pretty rocks to use.
I've done clicker training with pets before. I've done sticker training with toddlers before. In Episode #263 of the Life Coach School podcast, Brooke Castillo (who made millions teaching people to be a weight loss coach after she figured out a winning style) offers the concept of marrying my meditation practice with clicker training. Here's how it works.
The day before, write down everything you're going to eat the next day. Think through challenges: will you be driving at dinnertime? Will you have the ingredients on hand? If your previous meeting runs late will you have time to make and eat that salad or will you only have time to grab something on the run? This is my strong suit, I'm great at looking into the future. For extra points I can log this into my calorie counting app to consider whether it's balanced enough or the right amount of calories, but at this point I am pretty good at spotting issues.
Then, in step 2, eat EXACTLY what I planned. Make myself make and eat the salad if that's what I planned, even if I'm running late. Parent my toddler; you wouldn't expect a toddler to skip lunch. Watch for fails as a way to improve your planning.
Step 3 is to notice EVERY TIME you have an urge to diverge. Your sneaky toddler might be whining for a cupcake or whatever. She might make it sound reasonable, and fun things are fun, right? Don't fight the urge. Think of it as a temper tantrum in the grocery store: you just need to sit with it and feel the storm. Be compassionate. Be curious about what's really going on. Feel. Listen. Sit with it.
Step 4 is to put a bead in a little glass jar as soon a I notice the urge has passed. (This could take 40 seconds or 10 minutes!) It needs to be see-through so you can see it accumulating. It needs to be pretty. I'm using pretty rocks collected at my local rocky beach and a whiskey tumbler I like. It's a simple, subtle reward but it's wonderful training to get a little "atta girl" for resisting the urge. It also builds confidence that I can resist urges in the future because there's evidence of all the times I already have.
Step 5 is to track my weight each day, and get clear understanding that my weight fluctuates depending on whether or not I successfully ate on my protocol.
Step 6 is to do this until you've collected 100 pretty rocks/beads. Really drill home this training.
This is the same thing she's used for over-drinking and stopping smoking.
For me the concept that I need to parent my own body at least as well as I would my child's or dog's is still a bit foreign. I'm working to become more reliable to myself. Collecting evidence that I'm reliable would help with that.
So now I'm off to the beach to collect some more pretty rocks to use.