The Big Rocks
One of my clients just passed away in his late 80's. He was a Jungian Analyst who studied at the Carl Jung Institute in Zurich. (Have I mentioned lately how cool my clients are? I have really really cool clients.) Anyway, he used to talk to me about realizing my potential with analysis. I resisted his offer, but took note that people called him for the rest of his life, well into his eighties. He called himself an analyst, but amongst my set we talk about having "coaches". As our job is in the coaching realm of things, I finally dropped the hammer on this one and started getting some coaching.
What's weird about this is that the stuff I'm going over with my coach is just the jumping off point for my musings. She asks me something, I cartwheel off into a new topic, only tangiently related. But we're covering a lot of ground. It's hard to get around to journaling it, though, as I'm off to the races half the time and don't sit back and contemplate.
But here is something to record. This is what I told my son as he is about to turn 19.
Do you know the Rocks, Pebbles and Sand Analogy for Time Management? It says to identify the most important things to you and make sure those are fit into your life. I think of it as a framework that I can use as a filter in trying to decide what to say "yes" and what to say "no" to.
So, what are important values to me? A clue might be to look where I spend my time, what things I get worked up about. So, in no particular order:
Delighting and relieving clients
Warm personal relationships
Connected community
Healthy attractive body
Pleasant environment
Personal Growth & Development
Restorative Leisure Time
One of my clients is also my SEO consultant and I was talking to him the other day about advisor-facing versus client-facing aspects of my business. I spend a lot of time doing shit for my business that doesn't delight or relieve my clients. I need to contemplate that more.
I notice that "social justice warrior" isn't on this list. Is that because it falls into "personal growth" or "pleasant environment" or "connected community"? Probably. But I notice that social justice isn't one of my goals for its own sake. That sort of surprises me and I need to contemplate that more, too. (Perhaps it is related to my overarching philosophy that the only one I get to change is me?)
Pleasant environment is where I put maintaining my houses. But, again, I note that there isn't anything about growing potatoes on this. I don't have my garden in yet, and it was feeling like a little bit of a chore to get it done. Perhaps it's because I just want a pleasant yard, it isn't necessary to me to grow my own food anymore.
I'm going to be in Miami in November and had been contemplating how to leapfrog into a vacation with my husband. I wanted to go to Puerto Rico, but B wanted to go on a cruise. He likes cruises more than I do. I had been resisting it somewhat, despite being next to a cruise terminal, but this week it was B's birthday and he said something else that sparked the realization that warm personal relationships could combine with restorative leisure time and a pleasant environment if I just signed up to do a cruise. So: that's what B got for his birthday.
I don't think I valued an attractive body very much in the past. But these days I wear bright, pretty clothes and make-up and do my nails and color my hair. My desire to excercise and diet is related to my desire to look good. It's probably yearning for youth (I'm over 50 now) but I don't need to analyze or judge it. I want to look attractive and that doesn't hurt anyone.
My business is still challenging me to "level up" every few weeks. I keep thinking it'll get easier, but I notice that "personal growth & development" is one of my core values. Okay, that sort of explains this. I do this to myself because I *want* to. I keep feeling like I ought to have a talk with the lady in the mirror more.