You're better off for leaving...
I'm so utterly frustrated with everything right now.
I feel really isolated, despite being in my home town, with the familiarity of everything around me, all this crap I 'own' and friends I don't see.
My room is a fucking mess, much like my head right now, and I can't seem to get anything together.
Where do I pull the motivation from to make things better instead of wallowing in this depressing state?
It's very strange, I have a fair few friends and aquaintances in Brisbane that I never see, and yet I feel terribly awkward just calling them up and seeing if they want to catch up. I need to start putting in more of an effort.
I'm procrastinating like hell when I should be getting my arse into gear. Swimming in a sea of apathy when I should be getting excited.
I need to get motivated and just dig in to things... make a big fat list and start crossing shit off it.
There is still no definite outcome, and I don't expect there will be one anytime soon, but I need to get prepared.
I think I just need to give myself a metaphorical kick up the arse and get moving.
A week and a half til payday, need to write out a budget and stop wasting money on getting wasted to make me feel better for a few hours. A small sacrifice for a greater gain.
Of all the things I am missing right now, I miss kisses and cuddles and intimacy. I am so incredibly horny yet I can't seem to relieve myself. I feel unattractive and boring and crap. I keep thinking I should go pick someone up to take home for a shag, but I honestly couldn't be bothered and I don't know if I really want that.
Life is complicated and blah.
I think I'm talking shit now, so instead of writing about it, I need to get off my arse and go do something productive.
I feel really isolated, despite being in my home town, with the familiarity of everything around me, all this crap I 'own' and friends I don't see.
My room is a fucking mess, much like my head right now, and I can't seem to get anything together.
Where do I pull the motivation from to make things better instead of wallowing in this depressing state?
It's very strange, I have a fair few friends and aquaintances in Brisbane that I never see, and yet I feel terribly awkward just calling them up and seeing if they want to catch up. I need to start putting in more of an effort.
I'm procrastinating like hell when I should be getting my arse into gear. Swimming in a sea of apathy when I should be getting excited.
I need to get motivated and just dig in to things... make a big fat list and start crossing shit off it.
There is still no definite outcome, and I don't expect there will be one anytime soon, but I need to get prepared.
I think I just need to give myself a metaphorical kick up the arse and get moving.
A week and a half til payday, need to write out a budget and stop wasting money on getting wasted to make me feel better for a few hours. A small sacrifice for a greater gain.
Of all the things I am missing right now, I miss kisses and cuddles and intimacy. I am so incredibly horny yet I can't seem to relieve myself. I feel unattractive and boring and crap. I keep thinking I should go pick someone up to take home for a shag, but I honestly couldn't be bothered and I don't know if I really want that.
Life is complicated and blah.
I think I'm talking shit now, so instead of writing about it, I need to get off my arse and go do something productive.