Friends and Friendship
I have always been the sort of person who has a lot of aquaintances and very few true friends. Especially in high school (though that was more of a case of a few good friends and that's it), but even to this day there are few people I actually consider friends.
Lately I have been pondering the meaning of "friend" and "friendship". Upon contemplation, I find people who are my friends are people I can trust, people who will always be there to celebrate the good times with me and help me though the bad times. People who I can call up to talk to, people who call me to talk. People who go out of their way to catch up with you, people who you would go out of your way to see. People you could count on no matter what.
I have been treated like absolute crap by many people I thought were truly my "friends" in the past, and as a result I guess I have emotional barriers up to protect myself. Over time, I have drifted apart from some people I thought would be my best friends for ever, and I guess that's inevitable. Growing up will do that. Adulthood. Hardships.
I find myself now with four people, maybe five, that I can count on, no matter what. I realise now just how many people I know are mere aquaintances, and it saddens me that I don't have more friends than that. It's not that I'm unable to make the connection, it's that I am reluctant.
I made a decision early this year to only make time for people who make time for me. For too long now I've gone to parties, housewarmings, birthdays and general gatherings, made the effort to call people, listened to people talk non stop to me about their lives while not asking me a thing about mine, without asking anything in return. No more. I'm sick of being the person who always makes all the effort, and now I give up.
There are the few of you that do make the effort, you are not forgotten. You are very dear to me and know who you are.
end rant here.
Lately I have been pondering the meaning of "friend" and "friendship". Upon contemplation, I find people who are my friends are people I can trust, people who will always be there to celebrate the good times with me and help me though the bad times. People who I can call up to talk to, people who call me to talk. People who go out of their way to catch up with you, people who you would go out of your way to see. People you could count on no matter what.
I have been treated like absolute crap by many people I thought were truly my "friends" in the past, and as a result I guess I have emotional barriers up to protect myself. Over time, I have drifted apart from some people I thought would be my best friends for ever, and I guess that's inevitable. Growing up will do that. Adulthood. Hardships.
I find myself now with four people, maybe five, that I can count on, no matter what. I realise now just how many people I know are mere aquaintances, and it saddens me that I don't have more friends than that. It's not that I'm unable to make the connection, it's that I am reluctant.
I made a decision early this year to only make time for people who make time for me. For too long now I've gone to parties, housewarmings, birthdays and general gatherings, made the effort to call people, listened to people talk non stop to me about their lives while not asking me a thing about mine, without asking anything in return. No more. I'm sick of being the person who always makes all the effort, and now I give up.
There are the few of you that do make the effort, you are not forgotten. You are very dear to me and know who you are.
end rant here.