(no subject)
I sometimes wonder how things could have been if I didn’t move attend certain schools. My first move from St. B******* doesn’t seem meaningful to me. After five years later I moved from St. T********* to St. R******. This seemed to be the worst for me, and something I found hard to transition into. I then moved out of the Catholic school system to T*** C*****, a small private school. Now I’m attending University of Toronto Scarborough Campus. I can’t say that I resent my experiences at the schools, but every now and then something brings to mind attractive looking alternatives. I know it’s more useful to think about things like this when it’s in the future, not the past, but sometimes I find myself feeling like I’ve lost something.
My parents say we can’t afford it, but I’m wondering how I was sent to a private school (possibly through the petitions towards a now deceased wealthy relative) and how much more it is to live in a dorm rather than not (which might not be as much as they would think?).
Here at my campus, the course selection is fairly small. They’ve already eliminated many languages courses and I’ve heard that the humanities will be less and less supported to concentrate on Management students. The area is also small. There’s not much to do on campus. There are a clubs but I can't think of one to join. I also have little direction on what I should be doing as a career. Today I had a thought though... something to do with working with those with socially unacceptable (and unchanging) impulses. Maybe that's not even the right name for it, but I know there is something out there that I find repulsive and yet intriguing enough to not ignore it.
Today I was reading reddit, which takes up a huge chunk of time. I like going on the "tipofmytongue" subreddit where people try to find about things that they only vaguely remember, like a video they saw and forgot last week, or a show they liked as a child. Today there was one that was looking for a "messed up" comment on reddit. The comment was on a thread started by a pedophile who was otherwise normal and he admitted his attraction but hates it and would never act on his impulses. He mentioned that there are others who are into things that are more extreme, involving kidnapping, violence, surgical modification. I didn't imagine that these things happened in real life to this level; I always thought of them as libertine fantasies that won't be carried out in a modern world. Of course, there is great human variation...
Right now I'm in psychology. Maybe abnormal psychology is something I want to look much further into than I originally thought. The immediate reaction I get from it is strong enough. I'm not sure what careers are relevant though. Right now I can't worry about it because I have to study.
My parents say we can’t afford it, but I’m wondering how I was sent to a private school (possibly through the petitions towards a now deceased wealthy relative) and how much more it is to live in a dorm rather than not (which might not be as much as they would think?).
Here at my campus, the course selection is fairly small. They’ve already eliminated many languages courses and I’ve heard that the humanities will be less and less supported to concentrate on Management students. The area is also small. There’s not much to do on campus. There are a clubs but I can't think of one to join. I also have little direction on what I should be doing as a career. Today I had a thought though... something to do with working with those with socially unacceptable (and unchanging) impulses. Maybe that's not even the right name for it, but I know there is something out there that I find repulsive and yet intriguing enough to not ignore it.
Today I was reading reddit, which takes up a huge chunk of time. I like going on the "tipofmytongue" subreddit where people try to find about things that they only vaguely remember, like a video they saw and forgot last week, or a show they liked as a child. Today there was one that was looking for a "messed up" comment on reddit. The comment was on a thread started by a pedophile who was otherwise normal and he admitted his attraction but hates it and would never act on his impulses. He mentioned that there are others who are into things that are more extreme, involving kidnapping, violence, surgical modification. I didn't imagine that these things happened in real life to this level; I always thought of them as libertine fantasies that won't be carried out in a modern world. Of course, there is great human variation...
Right now I'm in psychology. Maybe abnormal psychology is something I want to look much further into than I originally thought. The immediate reaction I get from it is strong enough. I'm not sure what careers are relevant though. Right now I can't worry about it because I have to study.