beauty queen of only 18
Ick. What a gross past week. I can only hope this one's going to be somewhat decent, but I won't hold my breath with shitty coverage/drama going on at work, a chem exam on Thursday, bills due. Whatev.
It's just been a weird night which started off ok, but somehow led to me listening to old music, checking out old friend's pages, looking at old pictures, just remembering all of the trouble I used to get into a few years ago...
It's kind of depressing getting to the age where I pay my own bills, work all the time, don't party anymore, watch everyone around me do the same. Where I've gotten to the age where all of my friends including me are getting married, buying houses, planning our families, and some even dying. I've lost 5 people this year, and it's just...gross...is the only word that comes to mind.
It's kind of depressing that I looked forward to this. Looked forward to being old enough to do whatever I want. Go out as late as I wanted, get as many tattoos/piercings I want, buy mass amounts of animals and own a warehouse. And how late do I stay out now? How many more tattoos do I really have since I've turned old enough to get them myself? Where the hell is my warehouse?! Why did I sit there and long for the future when I should have just sat and enjoyed the present that was whooshing right by me. The time that I spent with my parents and my brother. The time that I spent with my high school friends (even though high school sucked). All the time I went out with my older friends and wished that I could be their age, that I could be in the future. It just seems like time wasted.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just going through one of those times again. Whatev. It's stupid anyways...just missing the past I guess.
Kill the switch.
It's just been a weird night which started off ok, but somehow led to me listening to old music, checking out old friend's pages, looking at old pictures, just remembering all of the trouble I used to get into a few years ago...
It's kind of depressing getting to the age where I pay my own bills, work all the time, don't party anymore, watch everyone around me do the same. Where I've gotten to the age where all of my friends including me are getting married, buying houses, planning our families, and some even dying. I've lost 5 people this year, and it's just...gross...is the only word that comes to mind.
It's kind of depressing that I looked forward to this. Looked forward to being old enough to do whatever I want. Go out as late as I wanted, get as many tattoos/piercings I want, buy mass amounts of animals and own a warehouse. And how late do I stay out now? How many more tattoos do I really have since I've turned old enough to get them myself? Where the hell is my warehouse?! Why did I sit there and long for the future when I should have just sat and enjoyed the present that was whooshing right by me. The time that I spent with my parents and my brother. The time that I spent with my high school friends (even though high school sucked). All the time I went out with my older friends and wished that I could be their age, that I could be in the future. It just seems like time wasted.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just going through one of those times again. Whatev. It's stupid anyways...just missing the past I guess.
Kill the switch.