(no subject)
so, what to start off with.
well its been a while since i last felt the need to write in this journal.
i dont really know, a lot has happened, a lot has changed. some things have changed for the better, but some other things not really.
so its almost my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. i love my boyfriend, but i mean, why am i with him? i know why im with him, but why do i always set myself for being hurt and thats exactly what has happened. your ex girlfriend walked right back into your life like it was nothing, expecting you to take her in with open arms. well, you started talking to her again, hiding it from me while i was in barrie for school. why now? why the fuck are you talking to him now.
so i went through your phone, and i found out that "ANDY D" was actually ariel bitch ass whore, your ex girlfriend. i reallly thought you were over her, and i was SO devestated when i read that message "you wish you could see me naked again". you REALLY thought i wouldnt find out. common, really boyfriend, you think im fucking stupid? why do you think i went through your phone? well my friend, i found out. and it really fucking sucks because i did NOTHING wrong in this relationship. so when i asked you WHY you were talking to her, oh and not to mention SKYPING with her, you didnt even know why you did it ! you toally killed every feeling i ever had for you that cold friday night. and here i thought we were SO happy and i was SO lucky to have such a great fucking boyfriend. deep down i know you have feelings for her, they all came flooding back when you answered to her text message that one night. and then there was me, studying my fucking life away, waiting for you to call, which you never did because, of course you were talking to HER, the other woman.
i dont really know what kind of satisfaction you get from talking to her. is it her looks? her lack of brains? her need to want to get the shit kicked out of her from me?
in case you needed a reminder, your with me, B-R-I-T-T-N-E-Y. say it out loud, doesnt even come close to ariel, not one bit.
now this night i was crying histarically, and almost took a swing at you (which i think you STILL deserve). you hurt me, you destroyed everything between us, and now im sitting her with low self confidence and a racing mind, oh gee THANKS BOYFRIEND.
but fuck all of that.
i forgave you, because if you havent noticed in every other entry ive posted in here, i do that. i give second chances. why? i have no fucking idea why. maybe its because im scared that once im single i wont find anyone else, and all guys will walk all over me like you, kind boyfriend, did that night.
its fucking bullshit, you, of all people, should not have done this. yeah your probably saying "umm brittney its no big deal" but when you fucking lie to me, especially to my face, its a pretty big fucking deal.
i will constantly remind you of what happened that night because well, i can forgive, but i will NEVER forget.
so now im sitting her, realizing that maybe i dont want to be with you. maybe its because you constantly get pissed at me fr bringing this up, but hey its the fucking price you pay for being a fucking jerk. so suck it up princess, you hurt me, now fucking deal with it.
so should i be with you? thinking you will never do that to me again? you tell me it wont happen again, and you dont want to talk to her, so why did you in the first place? so this is where my mind races. maybe because if i tell you not to do something, it makes you want to do it more, which if you ask me, is pretty fucking stupid. so tell me, what the fuck should i do?
i love you, yes.
i want to be with you yes, but am i willing to take your shit?
no, no, no.
but tthats what we do right? when were in love, we take shit because no one is ever truly happy when they are in love.
well thats my opinion anyways.
so, i guess i will see where this goes..
and i swear if you ever fcking talk to her again,
you will NEVER hear the end of it, coming from a friend, not a girlfriend.
well its been a while since i last felt the need to write in this journal.
i dont really know, a lot has happened, a lot has changed. some things have changed for the better, but some other things not really.
so its almost my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. i love my boyfriend, but i mean, why am i with him? i know why im with him, but why do i always set myself for being hurt and thats exactly what has happened. your ex girlfriend walked right back into your life like it was nothing, expecting you to take her in with open arms. well, you started talking to her again, hiding it from me while i was in barrie for school. why now? why the fuck are you talking to him now.
so i went through your phone, and i found out that "ANDY D" was actually ariel bitch ass whore, your ex girlfriend. i reallly thought you were over her, and i was SO devestated when i read that message "you wish you could see me naked again". you REALLY thought i wouldnt find out. common, really boyfriend, you think im fucking stupid? why do you think i went through your phone? well my friend, i found out. and it really fucking sucks because i did NOTHING wrong in this relationship. so when i asked you WHY you were talking to her, oh and not to mention SKYPING with her, you didnt even know why you did it ! you toally killed every feeling i ever had for you that cold friday night. and here i thought we were SO happy and i was SO lucky to have such a great fucking boyfriend. deep down i know you have feelings for her, they all came flooding back when you answered to her text message that one night. and then there was me, studying my fucking life away, waiting for you to call, which you never did because, of course you were talking to HER, the other woman.
i dont really know what kind of satisfaction you get from talking to her. is it her looks? her lack of brains? her need to want to get the shit kicked out of her from me?
in case you needed a reminder, your with me, B-R-I-T-T-N-E-Y. say it out loud, doesnt even come close to ariel, not one bit.
now this night i was crying histarically, and almost took a swing at you (which i think you STILL deserve). you hurt me, you destroyed everything between us, and now im sitting her with low self confidence and a racing mind, oh gee THANKS BOYFRIEND.
but fuck all of that.
i forgave you, because if you havent noticed in every other entry ive posted in here, i do that. i give second chances. why? i have no fucking idea why. maybe its because im scared that once im single i wont find anyone else, and all guys will walk all over me like you, kind boyfriend, did that night.
its fucking bullshit, you, of all people, should not have done this. yeah your probably saying "umm brittney its no big deal" but when you fucking lie to me, especially to my face, its a pretty big fucking deal.
i will constantly remind you of what happened that night because well, i can forgive, but i will NEVER forget.
so now im sitting her, realizing that maybe i dont want to be with you. maybe its because you constantly get pissed at me fr bringing this up, but hey its the fucking price you pay for being a fucking jerk. so suck it up princess, you hurt me, now fucking deal with it.
so should i be with you? thinking you will never do that to me again? you tell me it wont happen again, and you dont want to talk to her, so why did you in the first place? so this is where my mind races. maybe because if i tell you not to do something, it makes you want to do it more, which if you ask me, is pretty fucking stupid. so tell me, what the fuck should i do?
i love you, yes.
i want to be with you yes, but am i willing to take your shit?
no, no, no.
but tthats what we do right? when were in love, we take shit because no one is ever truly happy when they are in love.
well thats my opinion anyways.
so, i guess i will see where this goes..
and i swear if you ever fcking talk to her again,
you will NEVER hear the end of it, coming from a friend, not a girlfriend.