(no subject)
im on a rampage. fuck you. i dont know why i liked you, or why i went out with you. i thought this wouold be different, and i would be happy. i fell in love with you, and right now i can honestly say that falling in love with you, was the biggest mistake i have ever made. ive made a lot of mistakes in my past, mostly with you. i never asked for you to kiss her, i never asked for you to lie to me. i never asked for any of it. i asked for you to maybe stop hanging off of her, and maybe acknowledge me a little bit, and thats when we were going out. you kissed her behind my back, and when i asked you about it, you lied to me, you got mad and lied straight to my face. and that hurt me. thats what drew on all the other times you flirted with other girls, or you hung off of other girls. im trying to change, im trying to be a better person. i never asked to be jealous, i just see you acting SO DIFFERENTLY with other girls, and all you do is get mad at me for doing something. no im not fucking perfect, im a human being. i have feelings, most of them, wich you have stomped and spit all over, and i never fucking liked it. i took you back after everything, and all ive ever gotten was lies, maybe to make me feel better, maybe not. i dont know alot. i know that whenever im in your arms, im happy. what i dont know is why im happy in your arms, why i want you so bad, why i try so hard just to get you to be with me. i dont know why you treat me like you do, and i dont know why you get so mad at me. i dont know why you flirt with other girls, or act differently with them, and then towards me all it is, is sarcasm. i dont know why you just dont stop with the jokes. i dont know why you make jokes about being with other girls, when you know it upsets me. i dont know why you do the things you do, i dont know why you decide to treat people like shit. i dont know why you dont know the meaning of NO. i dont know why you think your better then everyone, i dont know why i even bother anymore. i just dont know anymore. i dont eeven know how i feel about you anymore, because you took that from me to. you changed me, and i dont know why. i dont know why im so unhappy, i dont know why im like this. i push people away, im a bitch, im jealous, and all i wanted was YOU. seeing how you act towards me now, i dont get it.
i know a lot of things to though. im beautiful, smart, confident, nice, and outgoing. and you took most of those away from me. that i want back.
you took my self confidence down to an all time low.
you took my intelligence, and smashed that one down, telling me im stupid.
you made me a complete bitch.
and those are quailitys i am NOT. i would like those back.
what i need is for you to explain this all to me. not with a fucking "i dont know" you tell me to think before my actions, so tell me why all of this is happening.
think rationally russell, like you tell me to. and all you can come up with is "i dont know". no your scared, your scared of what i have to say, your scared of you changing. in all honesty, you are a waste of a human being. your fucking digusting, your not worth anything. i was about to write" im done" but i know that im not. im never done with you, not now, not for a while.
and THATS how much you fucking mean to me.
and again, I DONT KNOW WHY
i know a lot of things to though. im beautiful, smart, confident, nice, and outgoing. and you took most of those away from me. that i want back.
you took my self confidence down to an all time low.
you took my intelligence, and smashed that one down, telling me im stupid.
you made me a complete bitch.
and those are quailitys i am NOT. i would like those back.
what i need is for you to explain this all to me. not with a fucking "i dont know" you tell me to think before my actions, so tell me why all of this is happening.
think rationally russell, like you tell me to. and all you can come up with is "i dont know". no your scared, your scared of what i have to say, your scared of you changing. in all honesty, you are a waste of a human being. your fucking digusting, your not worth anything. i was about to write" im done" but i know that im not. im never done with you, not now, not for a while.
and THATS how much you fucking mean to me.
and again, I DONT KNOW WHY