we'll make it work so we can work to work it out.
Click to viewseriously, when did michael buble get so sexy? omg.
i haven't been sleeping well lately at all. i've been surviving on <3-4 hours sleep every night which is pretty terrible for me because i love my sleep. it's fucking work. they keep giving me early shifts so i think 'well i may as well just stay up all night' and then when i want to sleep i think 'fuck if i sleep now i'm gonna sleep through my shift and get fired.' ugh. new year might mean looking for a new job. i don't mind mine too much but i'm sick of having to be there at 7am or working until 1am. i want a nice retail job that doesn't involve longgggggggggggggg hours and no breaks. speaking of which DO NOT WANT WORK. it's almost 6am, how ungodly. and it's going to be busy and the girl i'm working with is FUCKING ANNOYING and she's just given her notice to quit and she's gonna bitch and moan throughout the whole day.
yay.
a post at TQC made me think of my first """love""". as in super teenage crush. weird times. his name was gareth and he was missing half of one finger. ironic given my phobia of amputees now lolol. i used to basically pay him to be my friend because i gave him my lunch money every day hoping he'd like me for it. we used to sit next to each other in history and he basically would never be seen with me any other times unless he was with his friends as they jokingly took the piss out of me. he was a pretty good guy as far as i know. he had jaundice and i used to cry and cry and cry and cry because i thought he was going to die. his best friend nige once called me out on fancying him and i denied it. nige is dead now. 2 years and 2 months. WEIRDDD.
i'm not sure if i like thinking about these things. it's like a tornado in my head.
i love my boyfriend and i love my friends. i don't think my love is this incredibly constant thing. it's always there but i think it likes to be sleepy but it comes with such BURSTS that sometimes i think i could just cry and laugh at the same time. it's always over little things instead of big things.
i love you.
there's a lot i want to accomplish this year and i think i need to sort myself out if i want to try. i don't want to waste time.
i am so tired.