[school 2013] you are the same

[canttakeabreath]

Title: you are the same
Rating: PG-13
Word count: ~4500
Spoilers: Through episode 13.
Warning: If you've seen the drama, you should know what to expect. But to be safe, explicit references to physical/emotional child abuse, bullying, and not-so-subtle references to sex.
Summary: There are middles of beginnings and endings to middles. And sometimes

Comments

[sandra_hall]

lol, come child. let us have a feels circle.

Part of my thing with sis is, you know how older sisters just know things. Like whatever heungsoo might have missed about the way namsoon felt about him there's no way she would have. So I just imagine that's where some of the betrayal came from in ep...5/6 idek everything's a blur! Like she would have liked and trusted him otherwise a) they'd have made an effort to keep him out of their home and b) That was a large part of the draw of Heungsoo to namsoon, he came with a welcoming home and family, in heungsoo he could carve out somewhere he belonged. (Have you noticed how much like a baby duckling he is, latching onto anything that shows him enough affectionJung, Youngwoo, kindaKangjoo? I'm betting there just weren't as many people doing that in Busan.) So when she said "You were so close, how could you?" I can here that as is this what your love amounts to? I thought I could trust you to look after and out for my baby brother.

So yeah, now I want to know how she'd react to the reconciliation. Whatever kind of half-forgiveness Heungsoo given him, I don't think he'll get a lick of it from her.

[canttakeabreath]

Whatever kind of half-forgiveness Heungsoo given him, I don't think he'll get a lick of it from her.

s t o p now i want to drabble out a scene where she takes him out for coffee (namsoon i mean0 and she knows and he knows and heungsoo is at home and she says, "you fucking lost your chance with him" and namsoon spreads his hands out on the table and they're clean, no cuts and bruises, and she says

"i was ok with the gang. i was ok with the fighting. i was ok with soccer. i was ok with losing him. because he had you. and even if i couldn't have him, i thought at least," and she sniffs angrily and namsoon pretends not to see that she's crying, "at least he could be happy."

"i'm sorry, noona," namsoon whispers.

"it's too late for that."

"i know."

"he might forgive you. but you're not forgiven. you will never, ever be forgiven, go namsoon. you destroyed him and you destroyed us."

and namsoon looks at the girl who might have been his sister in another lifetime and smiles sadly, leaning voer the table to brush tears away from her eyes with the pads of his thumbs. she lets him.

"i know."

[o_srsly]

S L O W C L A P

els you have really become one of my favourite people in fandom. and I'm not even in the exo fandom by far. GAH.

[sandra_hall]

just here, sitting pretty on your left shoulder, hissing plot bunnies into your ear ^^v

namsoons faces are all so different, there's a good chance she thought they were so scraped up cos kids kept picking fights with them and namsoon was just a good enough friend not to run off at the first sign of trouble. This was the boy who slept with Heungsoo at the ICU ward with heungsoo, went to all his football games. They'd been friends since primary school, he couldn't possibly be going round getting her little brother into trouble. 'how could he'

do we know his sister's name? I bet they share the 'soo', anywho, the higher the climb the futher the fall you know. Imagine she was once-upon-a-time the only person who called him namsoon-i that he didn't get angry at, one of a few people that he'd let ruffle his hair or fuss over his cuts and bruises while grumbling about the fact if him and heungsoo were going to refuse to look after themselves could they at least patch themselves up and he'd always look at her like he's amazed someone cares. (then he looks at heungsoo like, i can't believe i'm here sharing this with you, and later heungsoo asks if he likes his sister cos there are some things he just doesn't get about namsoon. I love her cos she's a part of you, you bastard)

I also have feels about her being like. You really like our Heungsoo, don't you? (lol, i can legit hear this in korean, her properly stretching out the '많이' and then being like "맞다, 그치!" And him kinda freezing and the looking at her and the game face not sliding back into place quite quickly enough. and her laughing and being like be good to my little brother and namsoon blushing and nodding like yeah, i'll take care of heungsoo. and fleeing back to heungsoo's bedroom.

these are obvs early days. (middle of the beginning?)

holy fuck i'm literally going to end up writing a whole sidestory for her, and she'll end up seeing namsoon as the tsunami beating up a pair of kids in an alleyway and she'll be like who the fuck are you? He'll have the same injuries on his face that's always had on his face that she's always tutted over while patching up, over the years. but that's nothing compared to the carnage of the boys lying on the floor around him, and all she can think of is where the hell is her brother?

and then the next night.

[o_srsly]

I am an older sister myself, and I can tell you, similar things have happened when my brother was hanging out with the wrong people; and though they try to act "good" in front of me, I just KNOW. So yes, there is that element right there. Also, Heung Soo's sister is just like a surrogate mother to him, so she will be even stricter and protective of her little brother.

Even in the scene where Nam Soon goes sleep in the hospital waiting room, Heung Soo's sister is PROBABLY RIGHT THERE IN THAT LUMP OF BLANKETS, listening to their conversation and being conflicted that her brother has chosen to associate himself with this bruised, lost boy. She may have felt pity for him at some time of their acquaintance, there may have been a time -- many times-- when she fetched the warm water and towel for Heung Soo to wipe off the blood from this boy's busted brow. ("This much closer to the eye and you would have been blind, Nam Soon-ah," she huffily sighs, and then ruffles his hair. "I'll get you an ice-pack too.")

But when she is called in to Heung Soo's school to talk about another misbehavior, and Nam Soon is again sitting right next to her precious brother, all nonchalant smile and "noona~!". She feels angry. And just wants to tuck her brother away.

MY FEELS WHY IS THIS SHOW LIKE THIS WHY /dives head-first into feels circle

[sandra_hall]

I think she'd think namsoon was like heungsoo, maybe not society's idea of a good boy, but good enough when it mattered. Good enough that if a bunch of thugs decided to set upon her baby brother, that he doesn't just swan off into the night. He stays by his side, fights and gets them both home. Violence is something she can overlook for friendship, loyalty love

But when she is called in to Heung Soo's school to talk about another misbehavior, and Nam Soon is again sitting right next to her precious brother, all nonchalant smile and "noona~!". She feels angry. And just wants to tuck her brother away.

baw, i choose to believe whenever stuff like that happened she's just be like. Heungsoo, you can't be like this forever, you know that right? and hope that for all their 'boys will be boys' bluster, that heungsoo will get that message and hammer it into namsoon, cos he's her little brother too.

Or maybe she'd be like injae. take one look at their twin looks of guilt and buy them ramyun. I have pre-story arc feels. It was a much happier time.