i may be insane

May 26, 2008 00:45

I'm doing a non-oprah 21 day body cleanse. That means no caffeine (no coffee?? Im gonna be such a cranky b*tch), no meat, no dairy (AHHHHHHH! but i have mozzarella in my fridge! Also I live off of cheese), no carbs (double ahhh). So if im so "Ahh" about it why am I doing it you might ask. Well, my numerous cups of coffee per day and chocolate and all the crap I put into my body on a daily basis is really making me look and feel awful! I didn't have to worry about this stuff in the jungle because...well i basically wasnt eating crap! (ok on occasion, but not a billionth as much as I have been since I returned). And living in Madagascar was really hard when I first went because I was so unhealthy...and now with my return approximately 3 months away...I have to change my diet and I have to exercise to prepare myself for the intense AWESOME hikes that await me.
Why am I writing an entry about this? Basically so I actually do it. Day 1-lemon water is not gonna be fun..but once i can get some fruit in there it should be fine...after all... THE BERRIES ARE OUT IN FINLAND!!!! DELISH!!!!!!! also have i mentioned how much I looooove Finland in the summer?!??!? and lately ive been super into finnish music...well, finnish bands...Scandinavian bands...some are just so great. im thoroughly impressed. I went to a global music festival today with janneke where we ate nepalese and chinese food and walked through hundreds of market tents selling things from all over the world! There was even a Madagascar table!! awesome. and the sun just barely setting right now...at 1 am.....amazing. I love it here.
But I've just realized how absolutely USELESS I have been since i returned from madagascar. I WILL NOT make that mistake again next year. I have sooo much to accomplish in a few months...I cant believe this has creeped up on me so fast!!!!! AHHHH I still need to finish writing/submit a paper!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH running out of time......

freaking out.

and I had a nightmare last night that I got myself into a horrid situation and got fired big time infront of a bunch of people at a conference. im useless and so unaccomplished. no wonder ive been so depressed lately...a year has passed and I have NOTHING to show for it. and im getting OLD.

I just had to bitch.

the end. have a lovely day.
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