*cracks knuckles*
Well, hell. I know everyone has moved on for the most part. Journals remain dormant, and life goes forward. But I've just got the itch to write again. Part of me wants to return to my hidden journal and write there, and part of me wants to come here. And since I'm tired of hiding things... we'll start here.
You know, so many people equate storms with bad, and it baffles me. I love storms. The power, and the barely concealed wildness. It's like madness when the lightning crashes at night and the wind howls. But it's a gorgeous madness, that carries beauty and life with it. It makes my whole body sing, and takes my breath away.
So when I see those quotes and sayings about not worrying about the storm or waiting for it to pass I sit and say to myself - what about someone like me who waits for the storm to show? I know, I know, I know. I know they mean metaphorically. The whole bad moments in life as a storm thing. I get it.
But still. Think about it.
Without those moments of madness and release, where we let it all hang out. Where life itself gets turned on its head for a short period of time, are we really living life? One can go from one day to the next and never step outside of the lines. Obey every rule - get up on time, obey the speed limit, never do anything that's bad for your body. Never dance in the rain because you might catch a cold. Be perpetually polite because you're afraid of the truth.
Think of everything you're missing.
Think of the memories that will never be, when you're old and gray. When you're sitting in your rocking chair with only memories to make you smile on a cold night.
I won't search out the "storms". I don't want more chaos in my life than already exists. But there is no way that I would ever classify any of the experiences I have been through as something bad. No, while I was in the middle of some of it, I wasn't enjoying it. But if I look back, on the good, and the bad, I learned sooo much. I learned about myself, about those I thought were friends who really weren't. I learned the meaning of being strong, when I thought I already knew. I learned that I wasn't ever as strong as I ever thought. And I've learned that I've got sooo much more to learn.
The times I've almost died, where my body has betrayed me. The times I wish I had died because of the emotional pain. The times that the shock of betrayal almost did me in. I lived through them. I learned during them and after them.
I have my moments where I withdraw and do only Jenny things. But I'm also that person that will give the world a shit eating grin, grit her teeth and jump forward with both feet when she feels like it. Don't count me out for anything. If I have the urge to do it, I will. It doesn't matter if it scares me, if it's not something I would normally do, or whatever.
I refuse to let my life float by. It's my life, and I fully plan on meeting my death with laughter and a head full of memories.
In other news, both sad and not sad.
His Royal Highness Sir Thorby (Thor) left this world due to random poisoning last year. He and I fought gallantly to restore his health after he calmly and rationally attempted to save myself, Winnona, and Ty from the terrors of mice in the city. But he succumbed right before Christmas. My heart is still broken about his loss. So is Mistress Valkyrie's. He was her cat after all, more than anyone else's.
We also need to welcome a new member to the household. Her Royal Highness - Calipso. Calipso is a young tortishell kitten that followed me home one day. She's currently about 4 months old, and chasing Peepit and Valkyrie around. Her favorite game is attack-the-Valkyr-tail, and bat the mommy on the nose. She gives love-nibbles on the chin, and otherwise causes a ruckus.
Peepit is doing well, and is still Momma's little boy. He comes out and about more often now. Mostly to growl at males that come to visit. He doesn't really like other men in the house apparently.
Artemis is doing well, and my little pudge-kin. She's the Queen Bee these days and she lets everyone know it. She cuddles with the company, and keeps everyone else in check. Including me.
Lastly, my Valkyrie. I love this damned dog. I can't believe she's going to be 9 in two months. She has a smattering of gray on the bottom of her chin, and on the inside of her ears. But she's beautiful and perky, and oh so very protective of her momma. She likes when males come to visit, mostly. Unless they take her mom out without her, then she's not so happy.
Anyway, that's all for now, folks!
You know, so many people equate storms with bad, and it baffles me. I love storms. The power, and the barely concealed wildness. It's like madness when the lightning crashes at night and the wind howls. But it's a gorgeous madness, that carries beauty and life with it. It makes my whole body sing, and takes my breath away.
So when I see those quotes and sayings about not worrying about the storm or waiting for it to pass I sit and say to myself - what about someone like me who waits for the storm to show? I know, I know, I know. I know they mean metaphorically. The whole bad moments in life as a storm thing. I get it.
But still. Think about it.
Without those moments of madness and release, where we let it all hang out. Where life itself gets turned on its head for a short period of time, are we really living life? One can go from one day to the next and never step outside of the lines. Obey every rule - get up on time, obey the speed limit, never do anything that's bad for your body. Never dance in the rain because you might catch a cold. Be perpetually polite because you're afraid of the truth.
Think of everything you're missing.
Think of the memories that will never be, when you're old and gray. When you're sitting in your rocking chair with only memories to make you smile on a cold night.
I won't search out the "storms". I don't want more chaos in my life than already exists. But there is no way that I would ever classify any of the experiences I have been through as something bad. No, while I was in the middle of some of it, I wasn't enjoying it. But if I look back, on the good, and the bad, I learned sooo much. I learned about myself, about those I thought were friends who really weren't. I learned the meaning of being strong, when I thought I already knew. I learned that I wasn't ever as strong as I ever thought. And I've learned that I've got sooo much more to learn.
The times I've almost died, where my body has betrayed me. The times I wish I had died because of the emotional pain. The times that the shock of betrayal almost did me in. I lived through them. I learned during them and after them.
I have my moments where I withdraw and do only Jenny things. But I'm also that person that will give the world a shit eating grin, grit her teeth and jump forward with both feet when she feels like it. Don't count me out for anything. If I have the urge to do it, I will. It doesn't matter if it scares me, if it's not something I would normally do, or whatever.
I refuse to let my life float by. It's my life, and I fully plan on meeting my death with laughter and a head full of memories.
In other news, both sad and not sad.
His Royal Highness Sir Thorby (Thor) left this world due to random poisoning last year. He and I fought gallantly to restore his health after he calmly and rationally attempted to save myself, Winnona, and Ty from the terrors of mice in the city. But he succumbed right before Christmas. My heart is still broken about his loss. So is Mistress Valkyrie's. He was her cat after all, more than anyone else's.
We also need to welcome a new member to the household. Her Royal Highness - Calipso. Calipso is a young tortishell kitten that followed me home one day. She's currently about 4 months old, and chasing Peepit and Valkyrie around. Her favorite game is attack-the-Valkyr-tail, and bat the mommy on the nose. She gives love-nibbles on the chin, and otherwise causes a ruckus.
Peepit is doing well, and is still Momma's little boy. He comes out and about more often now. Mostly to growl at males that come to visit. He doesn't really like other men in the house apparently.
Artemis is doing well, and my little pudge-kin. She's the Queen Bee these days and she lets everyone know it. She cuddles with the company, and keeps everyone else in check. Including me.
Lastly, my Valkyrie. I love this damned dog. I can't believe she's going to be 9 in two months. She has a smattering of gray on the bottom of her chin, and on the inside of her ears. But she's beautiful and perky, and oh so very protective of her momma. She likes when males come to visit, mostly. Unless they take her mom out without her, then she's not so happy.
Anyway, that's all for now, folks!