(no subject)
So today we went shopping for a wedding dress. Apparently you're damn lucky when you get out of the bridal shop for $221.32 with a dress, corset and veil. No, I am not volunteering to be a wedding planner but I suppose I did ok. However, now her parents are being obnoxious about the location, insisting that her severely mentally retarded sister be a bridesmaid (just because they know it's going to make it harder on us.), and then wanting to go "somewhere nice" afterwards. Their idea of "nice" is Cracker Barrel and if they think for one second that I'm footing the bill for their backwards cracker asses, they're dead wrong. Plus, Tracy is stressing out from that, she wants a bouquet, a three-tier cake, apparently I have to have some flowers on me. In a nutshell, too much pressure to do too much in too little time with too little money. I've got a dress suit I can wear, I'm wearing my fucking boots and shaving out for this of course. There isn't going to be any compromise on that.
So then, just when I think the insanity can't get any worse, my mom writes me this email, trying to get out of coming to the wedding. I'm working guilt trips on her big time, as you will see.
(MOM)"One more time....I checked with Mary Rose since she's the "Marriage Coordinator" for her diocese and she said the powers that be said I could not be at your wedding next week because it was not a sacramental marriage, etc. I know her diocese is very conservative and I will check here with Fr. O'Brien who's good but a little more lenient. But if he says no I won't be able to go.
Don't want to dissapoint you for the world but do have to check on that. I'll let you know what he says. (I kind of think he'll say yes.)
Love,
Mama"
(ME)And people wonder why I left Catholicism, it's because of stuff like that. In other words, for my marriage to count in their eyes, I'd have to be Catholic, marry a Catholic and/or promise to raise any possible children in that tradition. No thanks. I'm going to raise my children to believe in a God, teach them the difference between right and wrong, and show a little more tolerance than what the dictators in Mary Rose's diocese are showing. They can decide when they're old enough which, if any, religion they wish to subscribe to. After all, it's the same God, and most everyone has their own way of acknowledging this power.
So for her diocese to say that you can't attend my wedding because I choose to worship God on different terms than what they or you do, is completely and utterly asinine. I don't have a problem with you or anyone else in the family choosing Catholicism, but when religious differences are the reason you can't be at your own child's wedding, that's something seriously wrong.
On top of it, think about this. Which is more important, some rule made by some bishop in some diocese that you don't even live in, or seeing the first of your kids getting married? God isn't going to forever damn you along with all the other people who bent the outdated or overzealous rules of their religion a little bit, just because you decided that the happiness of your son was more important than someone's interpretation of theology. In addition to that, I have researched and found little, if anything to back up this statement.
I am assuming that in their assessment, that they somehow consider me a Catholic. I may have been baptised, but that was not a choice that I made. I began questioning it very early on, and try as I might, I could never force myself to believe in it or pay lip service. So if that is their point of contention, then why would they recognize the marriage of two Protestants who convert to Christianity? Is it because someone who was "baptised" without consent decides that they don't want have a marriage ceremony officiated and acknowledged by the same religion they wanted no part of? Or, is it because you'll never be happy unless I'm married to a practicing Catholic while working two jobs to support all the children that resulted due to non-use of contraception, just like all the insane homeschooler/conspiracy theorists you used to spend time with?
Anyways, I'm quite sure that any good Irish priest will tell you that rule is "a pile of shite" and no one really pays attention to it except the most religiously anal retentive and obsessive interpreters of possibly fallible and obsolete teachings.
Long story short, come to my wedding. No excuses.
Emanuel"
So then, just when I think the insanity can't get any worse, my mom writes me this email, trying to get out of coming to the wedding. I'm working guilt trips on her big time, as you will see.
(MOM)"One more time....I checked with Mary Rose since she's the "Marriage Coordinator" for her diocese and she said the powers that be said I could not be at your wedding next week because it was not a sacramental marriage, etc. I know her diocese is very conservative and I will check here with Fr. O'Brien who's good but a little more lenient. But if he says no I won't be able to go.
Don't want to dissapoint you for the world but do have to check on that. I'll let you know what he says. (I kind of think he'll say yes.)
Love,
Mama"
(ME)And people wonder why I left Catholicism, it's because of stuff like that. In other words, for my marriage to count in their eyes, I'd have to be Catholic, marry a Catholic and/or promise to raise any possible children in that tradition. No thanks. I'm going to raise my children to believe in a God, teach them the difference between right and wrong, and show a little more tolerance than what the dictators in Mary Rose's diocese are showing. They can decide when they're old enough which, if any, religion they wish to subscribe to. After all, it's the same God, and most everyone has their own way of acknowledging this power.
So for her diocese to say that you can't attend my wedding because I choose to worship God on different terms than what they or you do, is completely and utterly asinine. I don't have a problem with you or anyone else in the family choosing Catholicism, but when religious differences are the reason you can't be at your own child's wedding, that's something seriously wrong.
On top of it, think about this. Which is more important, some rule made by some bishop in some diocese that you don't even live in, or seeing the first of your kids getting married? God isn't going to forever damn you along with all the other people who bent the outdated or overzealous rules of their religion a little bit, just because you decided that the happiness of your son was more important than someone's interpretation of theology. In addition to that, I have researched and found little, if anything to back up this statement.
I am assuming that in their assessment, that they somehow consider me a Catholic. I may have been baptised, but that was not a choice that I made. I began questioning it very early on, and try as I might, I could never force myself to believe in it or pay lip service. So if that is their point of contention, then why would they recognize the marriage of two Protestants who convert to Christianity? Is it because someone who was "baptised" without consent decides that they don't want have a marriage ceremony officiated and acknowledged by the same religion they wanted no part of? Or, is it because you'll never be happy unless I'm married to a practicing Catholic while working two jobs to support all the children that resulted due to non-use of contraception, just like all the insane homeschooler/conspiracy theorists you used to spend time with?
Anyways, I'm quite sure that any good Irish priest will tell you that rule is "a pile of shite" and no one really pays attention to it except the most religiously anal retentive and obsessive interpreters of possibly fallible and obsolete teachings.
Long story short, come to my wedding. No excuses.
Emanuel"