canada olympic hockey roster: fangirl version

[guingel]

So much talking head babbling about which players from Team Canada's Olympics orientation camp will actually make the final squad, and none of them seem to be taking cuteness into account. Or how much Laura loves them. Shocking oversight, I am driven to make my own list. From this roster.

Comments

[biggersandwich]

Your list is great! I am enjoying the hell out of watching the sports media people make lists with very, very similar logic, and then pretending it's news. Lulzy media spin is my favourite thing. :D

Also, Lu is totally prettier than Crawford, ijs. ;)

[guingel]

I am SO INTO PLAYOFF BEARDS. I didn't really expect it at all. You should have seen my twitter during the playoffs, it was about 80% "omgggggggggggg look how fuzzy Jeff Carter's face is!!!!!!" Like all summer i've been seeing people longing for hockey season to start up again, I'm like "you think you have a long wait, I'm desperate for more playoff beards!!"

So that's why Crawford gets the edge for me, because he grows such a magnificent pelt. Actually I got pretty into him all of a sudden, so it must be the beard, but I'm just really into his cute little face and little accent and little head bob right now.

But Bobby Lu would obviously win for personality! Sometimes he looks a little bit too unhealthy for me. But oh god how badly do I want him to come home to Long Island... ::sob::

[biggersandwich]

Hee! Not my thing at all, I'm afraid. Which is probably for the best when most of my faves completely fail at facial hair. Crow is acceptable looking, but I require shaving, haha.

Lu definitely has so much personality for a hockey player! But honestly, I just think he's super hot, idek.

[guingel]

Yeah, normally I'd say I like cleanshaven much better... I think it's the fact that they're all growing the beards simultaneously and I can compare, I get so much joy out of it. And then the guys who do end up with big bushy monstrosities look so impressive... or something. (which then leads to me writing tagfic like this!) The whole thing is just really really entertaining to me, even though I agree that in most cases it doesn't objectively improve their appearance!

ETA: And I kept trying to talk to my sister about it cos I didn't know many hockey fans at that point, and her husband grows a lovely ginger beard and every time I'd talk about James Neal she'd just be like, "::smuggity:: some of us don't have to look to hockey players for nice ginger beards!" SIGH.

When Lu looks like he's gotten enough sleep and taken a shower, I can totally get into his face and his little smirk... but that is not always the case, I find.

[biggersandwich]

ahaha, see, when they're all growing beards I just laugh and laugh and can't take any of it seriously because WHY, and also YOU ALL LOOK TERRIBLE.

Hee! Mostly I just lol at the proportion of this fandom which seems so baffled that dark haired white guys could have ginger beards because it's pretty common ime.

Sometimes he does look very sad and tired. But he has such nice bone structure!

[guingel]

Yeah, I laugh and laugh and think they all look terrible and love every minute of it. XDDD I did not realize that I had this much enthusiasm for collective beard growing. But the communal aspect makes even the sadsack beards so much more palatable because it's not like "OH GOD SID WHY ARE YOU????" Instead it's "Awwwwwww Sid you're trying so hard haha look at your little face next to Duper." I have such high hopes for the Islanders when we make it further into the playoffs, I think Johnny's really got the potential for some quality chin fuzz. XD

Oh, the ginger beard. Indeed, it's not as rare a phenomenon as people seem to think, but I love it so much. Possibly because one of my all-time favorite soccer players grows SUCH a nice distinguished one and is so beautiful with it:

[biggersandwich]

Hee! I could do without it, tbh, though I enjoy collectively mocking them. :D I doubt Johnny though. Have you not seen his terrible and hideous mustache?

I associate it strongly with friends of mine who should never grow facial hair ever, so it's only lolarious to me, oops.

Poor Johnny! But yeah, newsguy is probably right. These guys lose teeth a LOT and it only slows them down if they pull a full-on Sid. (I am shallow enough to want him to fix them though, haha. I just can't be doing with dudes like Erik Johnson who keep taking pics with their falsies out. >.<)

[guingel]

Oooooh yeah, that mustache was a nightmare. Hmmmm. November is definitely a trial to get through sometimes, although it has its entertaining moments. But Johnny has such a good 5 o'clock shadow and he grew some fairly solid scruff during the first round!

[biggersandwich]

November is the most hideous. I've been dling random games this summer to watch while I write and I had one from Nov that I hadn't checked the date on and I kept recoiling in shock and horror at all the closeups because ewwwwww.

He does scruff sort of okay, but I iirc his moustache comes in oddly light and looks super weird, so I suspect that'll be true of the rest of his beard and it will be bad news everywhere. /o\ Better than Sid though, you're right, though that is the lowest of low standards.

One tooth missing I can sort of deal with. Two together, especially front teeth, is just aughhhh for me. Johnny is pretty conscientious and image-conscious though, it's true, so you're probably right.

[guingel]

But he's getting older and older every year! (As many people do.) That seems to have a positive effect on beard volume. Maybe by the time we finally manage to see it come in fully (next spring obviously), he'll be done percolating. :)

Although yes, now I am dreading November, haha.

[biggersandwich]

This is true, though I meant pale in colour? Not ginger, but lighter than his hair. Very unattractive. XD I will judge it regardless though, it's true. ;D

[guingel]

Ahhh yeah, I do seem to remember that. A valid concern. Well... I will be entertained regardless! ;)

[kegom]

I was reading smut about Sean Couturier and any time his mouth was involved I was just like "AAAAAGH YOU HAVE NO TEETH DDDDDDD:"

Totally butting in, but - do you remember when Duncan Keith lost seven teeth at once and spent the rest of the play-offs looking like a hobo with a beard and no teeth?

And I can't remember whether that was really a fic I read or just a discussion/thought, but at the time someone mentioned this thing about how Geishas used to pull their teeth so that their clients didn't have to worry about teeth during their BJs, and the reaction was basically "...Seabs, you lucky dog."

So yes. Hockey players and their teeth (and the things they can do with and without them). XD

[guingel]

hahahaha oh god Duncan Keith has such a wide variance in hotness. Sometimes i am SO INTO HIM (despite the mild sexism), and sometimes I am SO REPELLED. XDD

Aaaaaaaaaaaauuugh haha oh god that Geisha story creeps me out so much. Jesus if I was ever with someone who lost their teeth, it'd take me a long time to get used to doing anything sexual involving their mouth!! Probably because I'd be imagining something like that and would get creeped out thinking about if someone would want them to lose their teeth before I could just relax and accept that it's how their body is.

Yick though, not that I can get blowjobs but someone gumming you?? O____O Hahaha apparently I have a lot of mouth-related body horror.