canada olympic hockey roster: fangirl version

[guingel]

So much talking head babbling about which players from Team Canada's Olympics orientation camp will actually make the final squad, and none of them seem to be taking cuteness into account. Or how much Laura loves them. Shocking oversight, I am driven to make my own list. From this roster.

Comments

[guingel]

Yeah, I laugh and laugh and think they all look terrible and love every minute of it. XDDD I did not realize that I had this much enthusiasm for collective beard growing. But the communal aspect makes even the sadsack beards so much more palatable because it's not like "OH GOD SID WHY ARE YOU????" Instead it's "Awwwwwww Sid you're trying so hard haha look at your little face next to Duper." I have such high hopes for the Islanders when we make it further into the playoffs, I think Johnny's really got the potential for some quality chin fuzz. XD

Oh, the ginger beard. Indeed, it's not as rare a phenomenon as people seem to think, but I love it so much. Possibly because one of my all-time favorite soccer players grows SUCH a nice distinguished one and is so beautiful with it:


Ahhh, Xabi Alonso and his barba roja... *_____*

...OT BUT JOHNNY NOOOO:
‏@StapeNewsday 1m
If @91Tavares looks a little uncomfortable next wk, he's not having 2nd thoughts -- took a puck to mouth in workout last week. Lost 3 teeth.

DDDDDDDDDD: Although I know that like Jeff Carter, at least one or two of Johnny's was already fake... the teeth are always a lie.

....lol this followup:
@StapeNewsday 1m
Before #Isles fans freak out, remember: This is someone who was bitten in Swiss League game last yr, then came over to have MVP-type season.

[biggersandwich]

Hee! I could do without it, tbh, though I enjoy collectively mocking them. :D I doubt Johnny though. Have you not seen his terrible and hideous mustache?

I associate it strongly with friends of mine who should never grow facial hair ever, so it's only lolarious to me, oops.

Poor Johnny! But yeah, newsguy is probably right. These guys lose teeth a LOT and it only slows them down if they pull a full-on Sid. (I am shallow enough to want him to fix them though, haha. I just can't be doing with dudes like Erik Johnson who keep taking pics with their falsies out. >.<)

[guingel]

Oooooh yeah, that mustache was a nightmare. Hmmmm. November is definitely a trial to get through sometimes, although it has its entertaining moments. But Johnny has such a good 5 o'clock shadow and he grew some fairly solid scruff during the first round!


I think there's potential there. ::optimism:: At least to be better than Sid or Tazer, which I know is an incredibly low standard!

Euuuuuuuuuuugh agreed. DDDD: I was reading smut about Sean Couturier and any time his mouth was involved I was just like "AAAAAGH YOU HAVE NO TEETH DDDDDDD:" (Except Claude Giroux, who works the one missing tooth look somehow... at least comparatively.) But I seem to remember c. 2009 Johnny having a hole that I haven't seen since, so I have a reasonable amount of faith that he's a dedicated denture-user.

[biggersandwich]

November is the most hideous. I've been dling random games this summer to watch while I write and I had one from Nov that I hadn't checked the date on and I kept recoiling in shock and horror at all the closeups because ewwwwww.

He does scruff sort of okay, but I iirc his moustache comes in oddly light and looks super weird, so I suspect that'll be true of the rest of his beard and it will be bad news everywhere. /o\ Better than Sid though, you're right, though that is the lowest of low standards.

One tooth missing I can sort of deal with. Two together, especially front teeth, is just aughhhh for me. Johnny is pretty conscientious and image-conscious though, it's true, so you're probably right.

[guingel]

But he's getting older and older every year! (As many people do.) That seems to have a positive effect on beard volume. Maybe by the time we finally manage to see it come in fully (next spring obviously), he'll be done percolating. :)

Although yes, now I am dreading November, haha.

[biggersandwich]

This is true, though I meant pale in colour? Not ginger, but lighter than his hair. Very unattractive. XD I will judge it regardless though, it's true. ;D

[guingel]

Ahhh yeah, I do seem to remember that. A valid concern. Well... I will be entertained regardless! ;)

[kegom]

I was reading smut about Sean Couturier and any time his mouth was involved I was just like "AAAAAGH YOU HAVE NO TEETH DDDDDDD:"

Totally butting in, but - do you remember when Duncan Keith lost seven teeth at once and spent the rest of the play-offs looking like a hobo with a beard and no teeth?

And I can't remember whether that was really a fic I read or just a discussion/thought, but at the time someone mentioned this thing about how Geishas used to pull their teeth so that their clients didn't have to worry about teeth during their BJs, and the reaction was basically "...Seabs, you lucky dog."

So yes. Hockey players and their teeth (and the things they can do with and without them). XD

[guingel]

hahahaha oh god Duncan Keith has such a wide variance in hotness. Sometimes i am SO INTO HIM (despite the mild sexism), and sometimes I am SO REPELLED. XDD

Aaaaaaaaaaaauuugh haha oh god that Geisha story creeps me out so much. Jesus if I was ever with someone who lost their teeth, it'd take me a long time to get used to doing anything sexual involving their mouth!! Probably because I'd be imagining something like that and would get creeped out thinking about if someone would want them to lose their teeth before I could just relax and accept that it's how their body is.

Yick though, not that I can get blowjobs but someone gumming you?? O____O Hahaha apparently I have a lot of mouth-related body horror.