RIP Romaan
Just thought I'd give a final update.
Romaan was put to sleep yesterday evening.
In my rush to get opinions, I didn't really get a proper post out on here and I think I came across wrong; it sounded like I wanted to put him down for being blind or having an infection. It wasn't just that I suspected that he was blind, that's not a big deal really, it's that he seemed to be having some sort of seizure; not that he was seizing, but that in the midst of eating or what have you, he would freeze in place, his eyes would bulge and roll forward slightly and he would tip over; that's what made me initially suspect an inner ear infection or parasites. The fact of the matter is that with each tiny step forward, his health took two or three giant steps backward.
When I got to the vet's office last night, I was hopeful that I'd see him and change my mind; that he'd seem like his old self and I would be able to take him home; but he was weak and limp in my arms and his breathing was shallow. The vet said that when he started examining him earlier that day, he'd almost lost him; he said that he had syncope (fainting spells, really); he explained that it could be caused by almost anything but that to run tests would be stressful for Romaan and that, with his health the way it was, and his passing out during a very simple exam, he didn't think his body could take it. He said that he had lost more muscle mass (which I had noticed in his face) and was starting to do things involuntarily (clicking his front teeth together, turning toward the right, etc). He said I could take him home if I wanted to but that I should be prepared; that in a small animal who was already sick, any one of these episodes could be fatal and that I may not know when he would pass away. He said I could have him put to sleep that day and let me have some time with Romaan while I thought over my options.
This little guy was always the spunkiest of my piggies; he was a fiesty little nut from the start; always running and popping and squeaking like mad (if there's such a thing as piggie ADD, this guy had it, lol; he couldn't sit still for anything), eating everything he could sink his little teeth into; and yet here he was in my arms, limp and silent, blind and losing consciousness and incapable of eating anything on his own; he wasn't himself; he was sick and in pain and uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure that, had I let him, he would've passed away a week ago.
I don't regret trying to save him; I already miss him desperately and wish he were still here, alive and well; but I don't regret choosing euthanasia yesterday; I know that it was his time to go and I didn't want him to have to come home and wait for death; I didn't want him to have to starve to death or wait for that final spasm; he deserved better than that; I couldn't choose to torture him in that way.
I'm sure I could have taken him to a bunch of other vets and had his blood drawn and tests run and more observations and medications and xrays and what have you, but it wouldn't have been fair to him; it wouldn't be fair to poke and prod an already weak and sick piggy just because I couldn't bear to let him go; at that point, I didn't think it was right to just be thinking about myself and how heartbroken I'd be once he was gone, I had to think of what was really best for Romaan. He wasn't a mellow pig by nature, and when he was well, I think he really loved life; I truly believe that, if he were able to speak, he would have told me that he was in pain and that I had to let him go; I truly believe that he would have been devastated to live the rest of his life incapacitated, in darkness, and incapable of eating hay and carrots. My poor Romy didn't have a quality of life over the past few days; I didn't want to believe it, I wanted to see him as improving, but he wasn't; over the past two days, he was deteriorating; he was sitting in one place in his cage, never moving and never making a sound.
It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make -- even harder than deciding to become a parent -- but I wouldn't take it back. He's finally at peace and I think that's all he wanted. I loved him and miss him and hope he's out there somewhere having the best piggy feast with his two buddies (my previous pigs, Pippin and Hanks).
Here's to you, little guy.
Romaan
July 2005 - July 20, 2010
Romaan was put to sleep yesterday evening.
In my rush to get opinions, I didn't really get a proper post out on here and I think I came across wrong; it sounded like I wanted to put him down for being blind or having an infection. It wasn't just that I suspected that he was blind, that's not a big deal really, it's that he seemed to be having some sort of seizure; not that he was seizing, but that in the midst of eating or what have you, he would freeze in place, his eyes would bulge and roll forward slightly and he would tip over; that's what made me initially suspect an inner ear infection or parasites. The fact of the matter is that with each tiny step forward, his health took two or three giant steps backward.
When I got to the vet's office last night, I was hopeful that I'd see him and change my mind; that he'd seem like his old self and I would be able to take him home; but he was weak and limp in my arms and his breathing was shallow. The vet said that when he started examining him earlier that day, he'd almost lost him; he said that he had syncope (fainting spells, really); he explained that it could be caused by almost anything but that to run tests would be stressful for Romaan and that, with his health the way it was, and his passing out during a very simple exam, he didn't think his body could take it. He said that he had lost more muscle mass (which I had noticed in his face) and was starting to do things involuntarily (clicking his front teeth together, turning toward the right, etc). He said I could take him home if I wanted to but that I should be prepared; that in a small animal who was already sick, any one of these episodes could be fatal and that I may not know when he would pass away. He said I could have him put to sleep that day and let me have some time with Romaan while I thought over my options.
This little guy was always the spunkiest of my piggies; he was a fiesty little nut from the start; always running and popping and squeaking like mad (if there's such a thing as piggie ADD, this guy had it, lol; he couldn't sit still for anything), eating everything he could sink his little teeth into; and yet here he was in my arms, limp and silent, blind and losing consciousness and incapable of eating anything on his own; he wasn't himself; he was sick and in pain and uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure that, had I let him, he would've passed away a week ago.
I don't regret trying to save him; I already miss him desperately and wish he were still here, alive and well; but I don't regret choosing euthanasia yesterday; I know that it was his time to go and I didn't want him to have to come home and wait for death; I didn't want him to have to starve to death or wait for that final spasm; he deserved better than that; I couldn't choose to torture him in that way.
I'm sure I could have taken him to a bunch of other vets and had his blood drawn and tests run and more observations and medications and xrays and what have you, but it wouldn't have been fair to him; it wouldn't be fair to poke and prod an already weak and sick piggy just because I couldn't bear to let him go; at that point, I didn't think it was right to just be thinking about myself and how heartbroken I'd be once he was gone, I had to think of what was really best for Romaan. He wasn't a mellow pig by nature, and when he was well, I think he really loved life; I truly believe that, if he were able to speak, he would have told me that he was in pain and that I had to let him go; I truly believe that he would have been devastated to live the rest of his life incapacitated, in darkness, and incapable of eating hay and carrots. My poor Romy didn't have a quality of life over the past few days; I didn't want to believe it, I wanted to see him as improving, but he wasn't; over the past two days, he was deteriorating; he was sitting in one place in his cage, never moving and never making a sound.
It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make -- even harder than deciding to become a parent -- but I wouldn't take it back. He's finally at peace and I think that's all he wanted. I loved him and miss him and hope he's out there somewhere having the best piggy feast with his two buddies (my previous pigs, Pippin and Hanks).
Here's to you, little guy.
Romaan
July 2005 - July 20, 2010