(no subject)
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the whole klonopin incident; its not working so well. I've never taken a medication that haas changed by behavioral patterns before, even from the first pill. For instance, I don't like taking meds, so I'm doing well if I take what I am supposed to. I was popping several a day. I don't know how I feel about that, and the fact that I remember pretty much nothing from the 1st pill, it doesn't make it any easier. I'm trying to get the nerve to get a copy of my medical records. All I know is that I had the pleasure of experiencing many of the very rare side effects, not that I really remember them anyway, this is based off of what I was told. Mike told me at one point I was on the floor screaming because I was hallucinating. He told me he asked what I was seeing and I responded with "you really don't want to know." I wonder if I told anyone at the hospital what it was. I think when I do get a copy of my records, I will read them when someone is around. I don't want any surprises, but since there is so little in my memory, there is NO telling what else I may have said or experienced. Its not a good feeling. After the drugs were out of my system and I was back to my normal state, I had to talk with a doctor about some of the things that happened. He was not pleased at all when I told him (and was truthful!) that I didn't remember anything, and that one of the events he descibed sounded familiar, but I don't remember the before to know how I got to that point. And he threatened to keep me in a mental hospital for a year. I cannot help it if I cannot remember anything (enough of value for him); its a freaking side effect of the drug. Its not very common, but seeing how I was hallucinating and delusional and sensitive to most other drugs in general anyway, I'm not sure why he had such a hard time accepting that I had/have amnesia. Having amnesia doesn't make me feel any better; in fact, I think it makes things worse, although it could be better for me if I was as far gone as I have heard. But for me to try to kill myself and have no memory of it? I don't even know if I actually did try to kill myself or if I was just severely depressed and seriously contemplating it at the time. One thing is for sure, this has really shaken up my marriage tremendously. How am I supposed to defend myself when I don't know why I said anything, other than the fact the Klonopin cause agitation, hostility, and paranoia? Seriously, does anyone know?