...can't... breathe... laughing... too hard...


DM: Well, the religion is long since dead and so are all the camels.
Cleric: I’m going to summon a celestial camel, that’ll show you.

Also, Eliwood, we love you and all, but you need an intervention. Your... preferences... have spiraled out of control.

( Read more... )

*You misread "Lensman Arms Race" as "Lesbian Arms Race"
*You are very disappointed when you scroll back up to check
*You wonder what that would look like

Also, this Markov-chain gibberish-generator produces some amusing results with Shutdown.

Richard explained that Asher gives up at her skin contact;
Oh, come on. Even I wouldn't say Anita is THAT ( Read more... )

Dear Countess Mircalla,

Ugh! *stomps foot* My vampire boyfriend refuses to change me into one of your kind! It chagrins me like you wouldn't believe! Even his SISTER agrees this is stupid. Tell me how to talk some sense into him!

-Dazzled

Dear Dazzled,

Are you sure he's really that into you? All love is selfish; the more ardent, the more selfish. If ( Read more... )

Dear Countess Mircalla,

I'm an otherwise unremarkable teenage girl, but recently, I've been having strange feelings towards a close friend. My heart beats faster around her, I feel a strange, tumultuous excitement when she touches me, and she is always in my thoughts, try as I might to do otherwise... and, for her part, she keeps casting these ( Read more... )

How To Write Popular YA Paranormal Literature AND Defile Your Spirit!
Blistering and hilarious.

This entry is mirrored at http://guardians-song.dreamwidth.org/139124.html. Comment wherever you like. Just remind me to get off the internet and do my homework.

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Met Shepherds. Got funny looks when I asked if I should dress as sheep.

Also killed bandits. For stealing sheep.

Day 2

Attacked by zombies. Refused to perform “Thriller”, so were killed.

Also met young person named Marth. Got slapped when I asked birth sex for reference in my future v. grand harem. What? Needed to know for Galeforce ( Read more... )

Remember the old add-"in my pants"-to-the-end-of-any-sentence trick? Because I do. ...In my pants.
I'll think about programming it later (haven't done Codecademy in ages), but in the meantime...

( Read more in our pants. )

Privileged Person: Look at me! Look at me! Look at meeeeee, merrily wallowing in utter lack of forethought, consideration for others, and -
Non-Privileged Person: hello, there is an important issue affecting me, and I would thank you to pull your head out of your posterior for a second and consider your own behavior.
Privileged Person: ...YOU'RE  ( Read more... )