(no subject)
Frightened, Severus had fled from Albus’ bed then, - “Merlin, even the HEADMASTER’S a Stu now!” - and Albus had prevented him leaving his bedchamber.
Then Albus said those four words that caused Severus’ world to shatter.
This was a mistake.
Severus had reacted instinctively, refusing to let Albus see how much those few words, so uncaringly spoken,
Albus: I thought they were “gently and tenderly”, perhaps even “lovingly”, spoken?
Aberforth: They are coming from you.
had hurt him. He shut down his emotions, and calmly agreed that it was a terrible mistake and that he knew that Albus could never love him.
Albus: And I believed this when, the previous night, he, a very dignified, harsh man, had burst into tears and Legilimency proved that he was suffering an emotional breakdown?
Gellert: Well, he could have been faking it.
Albus: It is… difficult to fake insanity or near-insanity using Occulumency. One of the more dangerous aspects of using magic to fake insanity is that, if the act is too well-done, one will probably actually damage one’s mind…
He had requested to leave, and Albus had pushed those damn socks and scarf off on him.
Aberforth: So you did break his heart and then sent him off with socks and a scarf.
Albus: *stiffly* While perfectly in-character for my older self (who preferred to die and leave the Wizarding World imperiled rather than chop off his hand), I would never do such a thing.
Aberforth: Right, you would throw in a hat.
Albus: Aberforth.
Wanting to flee, needing to lick his wounds, Severus had taken them.
He entered his quarters, and barricaded the doors, JUST AS HE HAD BARRICADED HIS SHATTERED HEART. One more word, Grindelwald, and - what did you do with my wand?! *whistles* Can’t have sporkers harming each other mid-sporking, can we? :D Uncertain what to do, he carefully opened Albus’ present, wanting to see what Albus had given him,
Snape: *through gritted teeth* Seven years of defending Potter’s danger-obsessed dunderhead for a son - the very image of his father - who, as it turned out, was primed for the slaughter anyway, and survived only through a ridiculously contrived plot. Had the Dark Lord been able to conceive of killing him by some other means than the Killing Curse - such as, say, Nagini *fingers snakebite in neck* -, Dumbledore’s last plan would have failed utterly, as the Dark Lord would have held the Elder Wand and still had a Horcrux in reserve. The sacrifice was of uncertain quality, seeing as how the sheer number of people supposedly covered was ridiculous, and while Longbottom might have defeated Nagini, there was no guarantee he could vanquish the Dark Lord, who was a masterful dueler and full well capable, when not taken by surprise, of destroying any fool charging at him with a massive sword. And if you say, Dumbledore, that you were planning for, if all else failed, the prophecy activating AGAIN, Longbottom being marked, and then vanquishing Voldemort, I will decide I survived the snakebite, hunt down the Resurrection Stone, and do my DAMNEDEST to hold your shade under the Cruciatus, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!
Old!Albus: *twinkles* I said not a thing, Severus. However, if I had thought of such a plan -
Snape: *INCOHERENT SHRIEK OF RAGE*
one of the last presents Albus would ever give him.
Why, why, why did he have to admit his love to Albus?SPACEAlbus had saved Severus from himself so many times, always giving him another chance…
Snape: He gave me a chance ONCE and used my guilt over Lily Evans at the time and forever after.
and… he had loved him for it. All those years ago, a bedraggled, grubby little boy had stared with heartfelt longing at those Golden Gryffindors, wishing that the Headmaster LILY EVANS cared for a dirty, unkempt, terribly lonely Slytherin brat as much as she did his her Golden Housemates Boys.
Lily: Sev, I did care about you…
Snape: *snarlgrumbleNEARLYFEDTOAWEREWOLFANDYOUTOLDMETOSTOPFANWANKINGsnarlgrumbleDAMNPOTTER*
Hysterical laughter bubbled forth, and he savagely suppressed it.
The socks were hideous.
Albus: *offended* My socks are not hideous. I am excellent at knitting.
Emerald green with silver snakes playing Quidditch,
Snape: …Quidditch.
Albus: I have no idea why I would knit those, either.
and the scarf matched. He was still staring at them when he heard a knock on his door.
”Severus, I need to speak to you,” Albus ordered. “I know you’re in there. There’s an important matter that we need to discuss.”
Snape: *glances down* Well, at least the OOCness is intentional this time. I still think I would have my wand at the ready if he played head-games of this sort with me. My temper actually does have a breaking point, contrary to popular opinion.
Harry: Yeah, it breaks after two seconds of staring at me or Neville, and three with any other Gryffindor.
Snape: If my temper ever broke with you or Longbottom, Potter, Filch’s wildest fantasies would pale compared to what I would do to you.
Lily: That’s my son you’re threatening, Severus.
Snape: Notice that it has never broken with him.
Having no choice in the matter,
Snape: I am perfectly capable of warding my door shut and stewing, thank you. …What are the cauldron, water, vegetables, and fire for, girl?
Aberforth: *whispering* Ariana, “stewing” doesn’t mean “turning into stew”.
Ariana: Oh. *stops trying to figure out how to get Snape into cauldron*
he opened the door. Albus pushed his way into his rooms and then unexpectedly turned his wand on him. I promptly Disarmed and Stunned him, having NOT survived the War through poor reflexes and overwhelming trust of people who may no longer be my friends. The Head Master hexed him quickly, even as Severus grabbed for his own wand.
Petrificus Totalus! OBSCURO!
Severus fell to the ground, his mind screaming a counter hex,
Snape: Due to failure to properly punctuate that phrase, I apparently decided to perform a hex involving a counter. What sort, by the way? Kitchen?
when Albus hit him with another hex. He couldn’t think - all he could do was glibber
Ariana: GLIBGLIBGLIB! :D …Wait, I’m a goat, not a fish.
in terror.
Snape: I. Survived. A. War. Are non-prisoner-of-war survivors of a war particularly well-known for “glibbering in terror” when ambushed? And before anyone comments that I was in love with Albus, I hardly fainted when I first saw Lily on the battlefield. What I did to my companions who were aiming at her is none of anyone’s business.
Why was Albus doing this? If Albus wanted to Obliverate
All simultaneously: - OBLIVIATE -
the memory, he didn’t need to do this!
”Severus… Severus… the Dark Lord is exceedingly displeased with you.”
”Albus” opened SeverusAPOSTROPHE mouth and not so gently stuffed one of the Albus’
Aberforth: “The Albus”? Don’t give him ideas.
Albus: *strokes goatee*
Aberforth: I SAID, don’t give him ideas.
ugly Christmas socks into his mouth,
Lily: Why, when taking his wand and Silencing him would be even more effective?
Guardian’s Song: I may be called out on this as an unfair accusation, but I have vague suspicions the author may have a fetish for this. Not socks stuffed in the mouth, of course. Just… general rough unpleasantness that can’t quite be psychologically satisfied by solely magical means. I’ll start throwing stones as soon as I stop enjoying watching psychotic Dark wizards and witches wreak havoc so much (although not in that way). :P
and then turned around to look at Snape’s quarters.
”Looks like you’re quitting your cushy job here, Sev,” stated “Albus”. “Time to burn this bridge. I think Albus will be quite horrified when he sees that you decided to paint the Dark Mark in your quarters.
Snape: PAINT the Dark Mark. Because I am very well known for using physical rather than magical means. *gestures*
Ariana: :B? *holding buckets of green and silver paint and attempting to balance a paintbrush on her head*
Snape: I rest my case.
So the question is; COLON! NOT SEMICOLON! how will our noble Albus react when he realizes that his little tame Death Eater has decided to fly the coop?”
Snape: I shall be immensely glad to not be around to hear the inevitable speech to Potter or whoever wherein Dumbledore will wallow in guilt and self-pity, waxing poetic on his flaws in a matter obviously fishing for compliments and telling his audience that he simply loves too much, a single tear occasionally trickling into his beard, and so on, and so on, and so on…
Aberforth: You forgot his incessant bits of praise for his own brilliance, power, perfect grooming -
Albus: I have no need to praise my impeccable grooming. It speaks for itself.
END SPORKING OF CHAPTER ONE
…What? TELL them the sporking of Chapter One was over? Seriously, that gives them far too much time to run away. :D