The wall gets more bricks.
Just to make things more clear... I don't like to talk about my feelings. Oh, sure, rage and ranting and stuff, that's a feeling and I let it all out. But not other stuff. Once in a rare while now, it slips. I'm trying to stop that. It was good this time... I think. I hope.
Anyway, my journal has been getting a lot of attention lately and when I start my paintings it's going to get even more. It's time that I tightened the seals between my multiple lives once again. I can't rely on the fact that no one ever reads my journal anymore... because now obviously they do.
With that said, future locks are going down on certain posts. You'll only see them if you are on that list. If you are, be glad. If not... sorry, I don't do well mixing things together and a lot of my best friends are being bricked out. These people on my list either never talk to me, or if they read it they would understand. And don't say you will understand because I don't care for sympathy posts.
I am fine with people coming to me for support, but I don't expect a damn thing in return and I don't particularly want it. Too many times I've just been trashed and I'm tired of it. It is never a positive healing experience. So no, even if you are my best friend, or my girlfriend, you don't have a clue what's going on. Things won't stay bright and sunny forever but for you lucky sods you get to pretend it is, and that's what I really need. Things just get complicated when I let the barrier slip. Stay your happy selves... let me indulge vicariously, it's what gets me through the rougher spots.
P.S. This has nothing to do with Mel... we made up. :) But it reminded me of what shit I am at emotions and to keep things walled up, because everyone expects me to be happy, ranty Dae. Now I need to end this before I get weird about it. [/end drama]
Love you all.
Anyway, my journal has been getting a lot of attention lately and when I start my paintings it's going to get even more. It's time that I tightened the seals between my multiple lives once again. I can't rely on the fact that no one ever reads my journal anymore... because now obviously they do.
With that said, future locks are going down on certain posts. You'll only see them if you are on that list. If you are, be glad. If not... sorry, I don't do well mixing things together and a lot of my best friends are being bricked out. These people on my list either never talk to me, or if they read it they would understand. And don't say you will understand because I don't care for sympathy posts.
I am fine with people coming to me for support, but I don't expect a damn thing in return and I don't particularly want it. Too many times I've just been trashed and I'm tired of it. It is never a positive healing experience. So no, even if you are my best friend, or my girlfriend, you don't have a clue what's going on. Things won't stay bright and sunny forever but for you lucky sods you get to pretend it is, and that's what I really need. Things just get complicated when I let the barrier slip. Stay your happy selves... let me indulge vicariously, it's what gets me through the rougher spots.
P.S. This has nothing to do with Mel... we made up. :) But it reminded me of what shit I am at emotions and to keep things walled up, because everyone expects me to be happy, ranty Dae. Now I need to end this before I get weird about it. [/end drama]
Love you all.