"Never saw my home town till I stayed away too long"
the longer I've been away from home the less I've cared about holidays, it pretty much cements me as a type b personality, or really as someone who needs others excitement to motivate. I just haven't cared. At like all. I haven't been home for years, literally, I'm coming up on three years, and well for two holiday seasons I haven't done much of anything. The worst was the first away from home, which I'm sure is normal. but my traditions have turned into "Well what shifts can I work" and "Oh shit I have to get packages off to England, but really I can't afford it" So its a little annoying, and well I don't really do any of the religious shit, and Hanukkah and me, well working nights really doesn't allow for much of anything, and like I told one of my friends whose Jewish Dreidel isn't much fun to play alone and latkes are hard to cook for one, its not much of a solo holiday. And with no religious or social occasions it kind of just slides by.
Halloween was once something that I would race home for to help my dad prepare for, and now its not really something I think about even. which is sad, but you know what you grow up and change. For me, though its that I haven't replaced what I grew up with with my own traditions, I don't feel like i'm growing, as a person I am, but as a I described to someone else, I am the opening credits of a romantic comedy, which is not a particularly good place to be.
This is also the year that I was like "i am going to england," and its not happening mainly because of the oil spill, and I can't help but be angry, I've submitted a claim, and hope to get some money which may free up some of my time, but you know nothing is for sure. And with the crazy way the claims are going I may never see any money. And its just crazy.
This is the first year my cousins won't have the whole family with them, and I know from experiance how hard it is, they had it for much longer then me, but I still get how hard it is, in fact its one of the few things that makes me bawl out crying is talking about christmas. Guah, not fun, but whatever. I don't even know how to help them because I don't know anything about them and christmas because I've never been with them for one, and because I am my own ball of issues about being left at christmas.
And don't get me started on my birthday, the only thing I like is doing nothing on New Years. My one tradition and danmit I keep it.
Halloween was once something that I would race home for to help my dad prepare for, and now its not really something I think about even. which is sad, but you know what you grow up and change. For me, though its that I haven't replaced what I grew up with with my own traditions, I don't feel like i'm growing, as a person I am, but as a I described to someone else, I am the opening credits of a romantic comedy, which is not a particularly good place to be.
This is also the year that I was like "i am going to england," and its not happening mainly because of the oil spill, and I can't help but be angry, I've submitted a claim, and hope to get some money which may free up some of my time, but you know nothing is for sure. And with the crazy way the claims are going I may never see any money. And its just crazy.
This is the first year my cousins won't have the whole family with them, and I know from experiance how hard it is, they had it for much longer then me, but I still get how hard it is, in fact its one of the few things that makes me bawl out crying is talking about christmas. Guah, not fun, but whatever. I don't even know how to help them because I don't know anything about them and christmas because I've never been with them for one, and because I am my own ball of issues about being left at christmas.
And don't get me started on my birthday, the only thing I like is doing nothing on New Years. My one tradition and danmit I keep it.