tell me to tell you
what is the score here?
what games are we playing?
the ship got underway on the 15th the morning after we got paid and returned to port on the 31st the morning after we got paid again.
we work like dogs and we don't get any sleep. it wasn't so bad this time. i did mannage to get some free time to do laundry, polish my boots, and iron afew shirts.
of course, my laundry is never clean enough and my boots are never black enough and my shirts are perpetualy jacked up. that's what the bastard in the rack below me says. fuck him.
i'm doing better on the bridge but i still have room to grow. i have trouble listening. i always will. i am unfamiliar with some emergency lights and alarms on the helm console. i just don't use them enough. more experience is what i need and i'm sick of that bastard stepping in for me. let me drown, fuckers! how else will i learn?
i'm grusterated with the bastard who sleeps in the rack below me. we just need some space i think. we've been on the ship together for fifteen days, working together for 5 hours every day.
it's important to know what is going on. you can't even trust your commanding officers to tell you. the thing with the millitary is that everyone is always training (some illusion of improvement). sometimes they tell you to do the wrong thing and you have to find the respectful manner to correct them.
for example, when i am on lee helm (engines and throtles), i can't set all engines ahead 1/3 and mannage 68 rpm for 10 knots. it doesn't work. that's like 60 mph in second gear. it's silly. but you might have an absent-minded ui (under instruction) conning officer tell you to do it.
and before you change steering units (the system that controls the rudder), the helmsman must bring the rudder to midships (center). usualy the conning officer will order 'set rudder to midships' priror to 'secure standby units' and all will be dandy but sometimes they don't and the helmsman has to use his head.
all of that sounds easy enough, but after a while you get so accostomed to doing only what you're told down to the letter. common sense goes out the window. this is dangerous if you are someone who' doesn't have much common sense to begin with.
so we got to jacksonville on the 23rd. i took the chance to go out on the town by myself and eat some olive garden. it was strange because the lighting was all wrong. it was not romantic. it had all the italian nick nacks and wine racks but it was missing the romantic lighting. it didn't even feel like a family resteraunt. it was just a cold place that looked like the olive garden. it was an immitation. i wanted dim romantic lighting and i didn't get it so i'm frusterated.
on the way back, the bus dropped me in the middle of a strange town. i was so mad! and i should have been scared because aparently i was in the middle of the drugs and whores. i could have been raped and i was trying to flag down a taxi.
i could not flag down a taxi. i eventualy had to walk into a bar and order a cab.
the taxi drive informed me about all the absurdity. his wife owned the bar i walked into. it was a friendly bar with a bunch of friends sitting around and they all knew eachother's first names. i wouldn't say it was a family atmosphere because it was bar but yeah... friendly. the navy blacklisted the bar only for it's location. i was in the wrong. the taxi didn't stop because it was so dangerous.
i got some new cds. i got a simon and garfunkle box set (all five studio albums), white stripes self titled, everybody knows this is nowhere by niel young, wildflowers by tom petty, and yoshimi battles the pink robots by the flaming lips. good times!
the ship has changed to three duty sections. life sucks. that means every three days i have to stay on the ship and pull a "duty day". so yeah!
when i get stressed out, i withdrawl from reality. then i fuck up my work. then other people get pissed off and i get more stressed out. it's a downward spiral sometimes. i need release. big release. escape, even. haha!
and someone in here is browsing friendster. i think that's funny.
deck department is funny. you can tell if they like you and accept you if they can't seem to hold back from pushing you around a little bit and teasing you. just play along with it because it's a big game and everyone has a good time. you can tell if they hate you if it takes everything in their willpower to hold back from punching your face in. it's funny how the less violent response is more hostile.
it's okay when boats has you in a headlock or he's taking your cookies. you're not in trouble. just try a little harder. one of these days you might be able to take his cookies. haha!
sarah is in bootcamp. she left monday morning i think. i can't help but to wonder how she is doing.
*pittiful thoughts*
and it still kills me to think that my kitty is gone... okay i'm done.
what games are we playing?
the ship got underway on the 15th the morning after we got paid and returned to port on the 31st the morning after we got paid again.
we work like dogs and we don't get any sleep. it wasn't so bad this time. i did mannage to get some free time to do laundry, polish my boots, and iron afew shirts.
of course, my laundry is never clean enough and my boots are never black enough and my shirts are perpetualy jacked up. that's what the bastard in the rack below me says. fuck him.
i'm doing better on the bridge but i still have room to grow. i have trouble listening. i always will. i am unfamiliar with some emergency lights and alarms on the helm console. i just don't use them enough. more experience is what i need and i'm sick of that bastard stepping in for me. let me drown, fuckers! how else will i learn?
i'm grusterated with the bastard who sleeps in the rack below me. we just need some space i think. we've been on the ship together for fifteen days, working together for 5 hours every day.
it's important to know what is going on. you can't even trust your commanding officers to tell you. the thing with the millitary is that everyone is always training (some illusion of improvement). sometimes they tell you to do the wrong thing and you have to find the respectful manner to correct them.
for example, when i am on lee helm (engines and throtles), i can't set all engines ahead 1/3 and mannage 68 rpm for 10 knots. it doesn't work. that's like 60 mph in second gear. it's silly. but you might have an absent-minded ui (under instruction) conning officer tell you to do it.
and before you change steering units (the system that controls the rudder), the helmsman must bring the rudder to midships (center). usualy the conning officer will order 'set rudder to midships' priror to 'secure standby units' and all will be dandy but sometimes they don't and the helmsman has to use his head.
all of that sounds easy enough, but after a while you get so accostomed to doing only what you're told down to the letter. common sense goes out the window. this is dangerous if you are someone who' doesn't have much common sense to begin with.
so we got to jacksonville on the 23rd. i took the chance to go out on the town by myself and eat some olive garden. it was strange because the lighting was all wrong. it was not romantic. it had all the italian nick nacks and wine racks but it was missing the romantic lighting. it didn't even feel like a family resteraunt. it was just a cold place that looked like the olive garden. it was an immitation. i wanted dim romantic lighting and i didn't get it so i'm frusterated.
on the way back, the bus dropped me in the middle of a strange town. i was so mad! and i should have been scared because aparently i was in the middle of the drugs and whores. i could have been raped and i was trying to flag down a taxi.
i could not flag down a taxi. i eventualy had to walk into a bar and order a cab.
the taxi drive informed me about all the absurdity. his wife owned the bar i walked into. it was a friendly bar with a bunch of friends sitting around and they all knew eachother's first names. i wouldn't say it was a family atmosphere because it was bar but yeah... friendly. the navy blacklisted the bar only for it's location. i was in the wrong. the taxi didn't stop because it was so dangerous.
i got some new cds. i got a simon and garfunkle box set (all five studio albums), white stripes self titled, everybody knows this is nowhere by niel young, wildflowers by tom petty, and yoshimi battles the pink robots by the flaming lips. good times!
the ship has changed to three duty sections. life sucks. that means every three days i have to stay on the ship and pull a "duty day". so yeah!
when i get stressed out, i withdrawl from reality. then i fuck up my work. then other people get pissed off and i get more stressed out. it's a downward spiral sometimes. i need release. big release. escape, even. haha!
and someone in here is browsing friendster. i think that's funny.
deck department is funny. you can tell if they like you and accept you if they can't seem to hold back from pushing you around a little bit and teasing you. just play along with it because it's a big game and everyone has a good time. you can tell if they hate you if it takes everything in their willpower to hold back from punching your face in. it's funny how the less violent response is more hostile.
it's okay when boats has you in a headlock or he's taking your cookies. you're not in trouble. just try a little harder. one of these days you might be able to take his cookies. haha!
sarah is in bootcamp. she left monday morning i think. i can't help but to wonder how she is doing.
*pittiful thoughts*
and it still kills me to think that my kitty is gone... okay i'm done.