(no subject)
in a few days i'll be turning 21, and I've realized I haven't done anything of much value so far. For the first time in my entire life I am not playing any sports competitively. I've played every sport imaginable and now there's nothing. Swimming just got too much for me. I lost all my motivation in April, and I tried so hard to regain it but it just never happened. I also realized that I'll need to concentrate on school a lot more so I can get into vet-school and I just wouldn't have time to compete at the high level I wanted to. I wish I would have seen the big picture before though...I learned though, and I won't make that mistake again.
I'll probably play some intramural sports at UGA but my childhood dream of making the Olympics or going pro in sports is without a doubt over. Looking back, I wish I would have just specialized in one sport instead of trying them all out, and I know something would have worked out.
As for life, it just seems like a circle. The same stuff happens over and over again, it's just with different people or things. Usually the situation culminates in me messing it up in one way or another. I can say I've learned, but have I really? I want to get another chance so I can prove to myself that I have changed. I remember Viraj and I talking around four years ago about how we didn't need to worry about being single now but if at 21 we still were it would be time to get worried. Well here we are, 21 and single. I never thought I'd have to worry about this and for a little while I was right, but it just didn't work out. I'll admit it, I'm scared of ending up alone. I envy all my friends that are getting married now or who are happily in love because I know I won't really be happy until I have that again.
I can't wait for January and a new beginning at UGA. I need the new beginning badly. I already have been there once, and I had a blast with lots of people I hadn't seen in forever. Hopefully there's someone there that's right for me, maybe even someone who's having these exact same thoughts. I can always hope.
I'll probably play some intramural sports at UGA but my childhood dream of making the Olympics or going pro in sports is without a doubt over. Looking back, I wish I would have just specialized in one sport instead of trying them all out, and I know something would have worked out.
As for life, it just seems like a circle. The same stuff happens over and over again, it's just with different people or things. Usually the situation culminates in me messing it up in one way or another. I can say I've learned, but have I really? I want to get another chance so I can prove to myself that I have changed. I remember Viraj and I talking around four years ago about how we didn't need to worry about being single now but if at 21 we still were it would be time to get worried. Well here we are, 21 and single. I never thought I'd have to worry about this and for a little while I was right, but it just didn't work out. I'll admit it, I'm scared of ending up alone. I envy all my friends that are getting married now or who are happily in love because I know I won't really be happy until I have that again.
I can't wait for January and a new beginning at UGA. I need the new beginning badly. I already have been there once, and I had a blast with lots of people I hadn't seen in forever. Hopefully there's someone there that's right for me, maybe even someone who's having these exact same thoughts. I can always hope.